# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 60
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1181 "2003-09-24T05:52:34Z")
Q: I’m hungry. What do you have in the fridge? A: Sand dunes. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1182 "2003-09-24T12:30:41Z")
Q: How would dyslexic Daniel advertise his photographs of the naked female form? A: A blood test, followed by a lobster dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1183 "2003-09-24T12:53:52Z")
Q: So, what are you going to do in the Count’s castle? A: Run away!!! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1184 "2003-09-25T10:18:48Z")
Q: What’s that guy saying, I can’t hear a thing over the clattering of all those coconut shells? A:A root canal? Oh yes, please do! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1185 "2003-09-25T12:32:23Z")
Q: So, what method or torture should I use on you? A: “Tis a far better thing that I do, than I have ever done” ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1186 "2003-09-25T20:19:14Z")
Q:[A lighter, an asshole, and a crowd] What can I say to really designate this event as the pinnacle of my shameless existence? A: Jelly doughnuts, and lots of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1187 "2003-09-26T00:40:30Z")
Q: What is necessary for a firemen’s convention, before the beer? A: The yellow lace should have the slightest scent of butterscotch. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1188 "2003-09-26T09:36:41Z")
Q: How can I determine if these curtains were hanging in a confectioner’s? A: Scraping her shoes, and THEN getting on the bus. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1189 "2003-09-26T10:42:15Z")
Q: Look, she stepped in the brain cavity of a decaying corpse – do YOU have any suggestions for getting rid of the smell? A: Damn! I would, but I’m fresh outta frogs. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1190 "2003-09-26T12:52:37Z")
Q: I’m about to take the midterm for Mad Scientist 101. Can you provide me with any animals for mutative purposes? A: Horatio Zotti never saw it coming. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1191 "2003-09-26T21:04:06Z")
Q: It was the right consistency, the,perfect trajectory and the speed was amazing, in essence the ultimate spitwad-guess what the upshot of all this was? A: Hey, I didn’t order no pizza! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1192 "2003-09-26T21:23:57Z")
Q: Anyone know what’s in that big box on legs above the art school? Anyone? Bueller? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1193 "2003-09-26T23:36:35Z")
For **Sunspace** A: Day of the week panties. Q: Why does the boss keep lifting Babette’s skirt? A: A chipmunk, some grape jam, and a wind-up monkey. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1194 "2003-09-27T01:18:59Z")
Q: I forget – what are the three ingredients for Mom’s Homemade Jam? A: Because I cut my little toe off with the weedeater, that’s why. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1195 "2003-09-27T01:55:23Z")
[oops \] Q: What did the police find in Little Timmy’s backpack after the ‘incident’ at the mall? A: Celine Dion. ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1196 "2003-09-27T05:40:44Z")
Q. Whatcha listening to? A. Because I’d only have to do this once in my life. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1197 "2003-09-27T11:46:59Z")
Q: Awright, but only because you promised: the coconut shell bra, the whirly-copter beanie and the cellophane muu-muu; how many times do I have to ride the bus in this outfit? A: Great green gobs of grimy, greasy gopher guts. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1198 "2003-09-27T14:00:46Z")
Q: What is the chef serving today? A: Ziggy played guitar. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1199 "2003-09-27T16:50:33Z")
Q: Who was it that played a stringed instrument while Rome burned? A; So crisp, it made my teeth hurt. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1200 "2003-09-27T21:33:01Z")
Q: How would you describe Babette’s edible underwear? A: Thar she blows! :Ahab Smiley: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=59) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=61)