# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 62
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1221 "2003-10-05T13:31:32Z")
Q: What should I do, now that all the fire trucks have gone? A:You can use anything but your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1222 "2003-10-05T15:56:42Z")
Q: What bedroom demand finally made you dump your girlfriend? A: The calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1223 "2003-10-05T18:28:59Z")
Q: While alone at home, what makes you most crazy about Nextel© DirectConnect™? A: Dancing badgers, some mushrooms and a snake. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1224 "2003-10-05T22:43:18Z")
Q: What got Emeril kicked out of the Sorbonne’s cooking school? A: Hockey Night in Argentina. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1225 "2003-10-05T22:49:29Z")
Q: What is the least watched program on Fox Sports Worldwide? A: Moe Greene, without a doubt. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1226 "2003-10-05T23:37:06Z")
Q: Is there a mnemonic to help me remember where to aim the lawnmower? A: More food, more wine! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1227 "2003-10-06T05:14:01Z")
Q: What were Lard Fattagut’s last words? A: Who, me? ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1228 "2003-10-06T09:33:22Z")
Q: Is that you? A: But only after washing the car. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1229 "2003-10-06T12:21:24Z")
Q: So it is OK for men to wax? A: Put that in a drawer. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1230 "2003-10-07T01:12:10Z")
Q: It keeps wriggling about, and peein’ all over the place, what should I do with it? A: That’s why I have _two_ printers. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1231 "2003-10-07T16:57:44Z")
Q: You’re one of the West’s greatest experts on _stereoisomers?_ A: Most of a bus ticket to Bancroft. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1232 "2003-10-07T20:15:26Z")
Q: How much of your time on that journey was spent having sex with a Portuguese prostitute? A: Purina Tiger Chow. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1233 "2003-10-08T11:48:09Z")
Q: What’s the ONE commodity you can’t buy in Las Vegas anymore? A: Just open the little door, and stick your hand inside. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1234 "2003-10-08T18:56:32Z")
Q: What a cute pet tarantula you have in your terrarium. Can I pet it? A: Arnold – no, that’s too easy 🙂 A: A tree, three rubber bands, and a case of cola. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1235 "2003-10-08T23:38:25Z")
Q: You’re going to build the world’s biggest stabile, what ever will you use? A: 36 cases of wax lips. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1236 "2003-10-09T01:14:57Z")
Q: What did they find in Amsterdam airport next to the baboon noses? A: Digital rado, digital television, and even digital popcorn. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1237 "2003-10-24T05:26:13Z")
Q: What entertainment products have been digitized, or are soon to be, even to the extent of knocking out the ‘i’. WTF is digital rado, anyway? A: About the time we hit the switch, Captain, he was gone! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1238 "2003-10-24T13:05:29Z")
Q: When did Q: When did Q: When did Q disappear? A: Malware. Or salami. I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1239 "2003-10-24T15:15:49Z")
Q: Which was the last fringe nation to sign on to the “coalition of the willing?” A: Two buses and a train to get back on her good side. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1240 "2003-10-24T20:31:17Z")
Q: Which three transportation vehicles have to be filled to the max with candy, jewels and flowers, not that you’ve committed that dreadful breach of etiquette? A: I finally found it, except, now, I don’t want it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=61) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=63)