# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/141 "2003-04-17T17:22:54Z")
Q: Mr Bush, how do you respond to people who say you are trying to take over the world? A: Yeah, but I **like** kinky sex. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/142 "2003-04-17T17:37:17Z")
[**His4Ever** voice] Q: Don’t you realize what God expects of you? [/ **His4Ever** voice] A: “When come back, bring pie.” ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/143 "2003-04-17T18:01:54Z")
Q: What did Weebl just say? A: Yeah, but it’s big, dumb **and** hairy! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/144 "2003-04-17T18:03:37Z")
Q: “What is the meaning of life, oh wise **Polycarp**?” A: “It aint what you do, it’s the way that you do it” ---
**Author:** ![nogginhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@nogginhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nogginhead)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/145 "2003-04-17T20:04:48Z")
Q: Is that your pet jock? Q: What’s the motto of the ‘size doesn’t matter’ society? A: She was a hotel detective. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/146 "2003-04-17T20:06:22Z")
Q: What is the definition of kinky sex? A: Just put some ice on it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/147 "2003-04-17T20:13:50Z")
[Trying again] Q: So let me get this straight. You saw a prostitute in the hotel bar, you offered her fifty bucks and now you’re in jail why? A: Just put some ice on it. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/148 "2003-04-17T20:48:42Z")
Q: How do you cure chaffing after too much kinky sex? A: Two thousand dollars, a book of green shield stamps, and a picture of Lennin. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/149 "2003-04-18T02:44:21Z")
Q: How do you pay for kinky sex? A: Spicy guacamole. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/150 "2003-04-18T03:59:06Z")
Q. You went for a dip in the nude and now you have burns over half your body? How come? A. The hamsters ate it. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/151 "2003-04-18T04:03:10Z")
Q: Oh my! Why is there that gaping hole in his leg? A: We’re going to see the Easter Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a4c791/32.png) [@Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lapin_de_poussiere)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/152 "2003-04-18T04:05:17Z")
Q. Dude. What happened to Michael Jackson’s nose? A. It’s quite an eclectic mix of yak hair and virgin wool - all I know is that Madonna bought one for $500. ---
**Author:** ![Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a4c791/32.png) [@Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lapin_de_poussiere)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/153 "2003-04-18T04:07:35Z")
[mutter] Simulposting again… [/mutter] It was originally meant for **Polycarp** ’s last one, but this one’s interesting too… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/154 "2003-04-18T04:07:45Z")
Q: What’s that new condom made of? A: It was **Polycarp**! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/155 "2003-04-18T04:18:45Z")
Q: Who ate my freedom fries? A: My mother says it’s because of the Jet Stream. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/156 "2003-04-18T04:26:33Z")
Q: How did **lieu** break the toilet bowl while peeing? A: A suffusion of yellow. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/157 "2003-04-18T04:36:04Z")
Q: What color is **lieu** ’s pee? A: Because Santa needs helpers. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/158 "2003-04-18T04:36:10Z")
Q: What’s that over in that urinal? A: An oversized stuffed elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/159 "2003-04-18T04:37:52Z")
Damn simulpost! Let’s try this again. Q: What does Charlton Heston have in his bedroom? A: Because it can only bend to the right. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/160 "2003-04-18T05:14:39Z")
Q: Why won’t my left elbow go past straight? A: A vat of lime Jell-O, 2 raccoons, a Barry Manilow album, and Tuesday’s _New York Times_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=9)