Question for doper moms - some pregnancy questions...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I’ve never had a doula, but I’ve had three drug-free deliveries.

The first and second were drug free by choice. I took a Lamaze course the first time, and it did help, in that it gave me something else to think about. The baby was born right on her due date, too!

The second was drug-free beause it had been a while since the first, and just as everyone told me I would, I’d kind of forgotten just how badly labor hurts. I mean, I remembered that it hurt, but didn’t have that physical memory, you know? Thank Goddess the second was fast. About four hours from first pangs to her coming out.

The third was drug-free because he came so FREAKING fast they didn’t have time to give me drugs. I had planned on an epidural. Told the doctor “hey, I’ve done this twice already without meds. I’ve got nothing to prove to anyone anymore.” She understood completely. But when labor started and I got to the emergency room, I was only dilated to three. But, I decided I had to go to the bathroom. Getting up and walking six feet from the bed to the bathroom caused four HUGE contractions that dilated me to ten. And my son was almost born before they could get me to an actual delivery room!

Drug-free is supposed to be better for the baby. I myself don’t know, for sure. The “drug-free by choice” thing is a sort of recent idea. My kids are fine, but so are all of the kids and adults I know that were born with medication.

As for the weight, don’t worry too much. Weight is way too much of an issue, you know? As long as you and the baby are healthy, that’s really all that matters. Oh, and as for this…

…don’t manage the baby’s weight. Not now. Not unless the baby is so big/so small that there’s a health risk.

Most importantly…try to relax, and remember that no matter how badly you want that baby out of your body, at some point, you WILL wish it was back in, because it was soooo much easier…:wink:

22

I had this with all three pregnancies. It meant I was anemic, and had to take iron pills for the rest of the pregnancy. Check with your doctor. Slow-Fe brand iron pills worked great for me.

23

  1. Most first babies come late. Mine showed up 2 days after her due date.

  2. I did all the drugs they offered me and LOVED it. Good luck and more power to you if you choose to go without. My one bit of advice is to not lock yourself in one way or the other. If you are having a long, horrible labor you should giveyourself permission to say “the heck with it” and take the drugs, so that you have the energy to push the baby out. I have a girlfriend who was so determined to labor without drugs during her 53 hour labor (I kid you not) that she got exhausted and ended up with a C-section. I believe the healthier and safer birth is a drug-assisted labor and vaginal delivery instead of a drug-free labor leading to a general anasthesia C-section. Of course her circumstance is extraordinary, but my point is if you need help don’t hesistate to blow off your “plan” and do what is needed for your and the baby’s best possible outcome. Here is my birth plan, in it’s entirety:

“A healthy baby will be born to a healthy mom. And don’t count while I’m pushing.”

  1. At 3 months post-partum I’m about 8 lbs lighter than when I got knocked up. My hips are permanantly wider though. My hint is to get out and walk, briskly, for one hour every day as soon as you can. I started at 2 weeks after my daughter was born and was exhausted by the end each day, but was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans by 4 weeks post-partum.
24

But I take pre-natal pills! They have something like 3x the usual amount of iron! You could well be right though…tonight my friend said the same thing happened with her too, and I do tend to be a little low on iron anyway. Oh well, I’m planning on calling tomorrow morning, so we’ll find out soon enough.

25

Beware weight estimates that come from ultrasound or fundal height measurements! I’ve heard of them being up to two pounds off either way. My older son was 700g heavier than the estimate I’d been given, that’s over a pound and a half. Nothing like those oh-my-gawd stares as everyone but you sees this baby giant emerging :wink:

Also, a heavier baby does not necessarily mean a longer or more painful labor. It depends. The opening phase is the same no matter what, because the contractions are there to open the cervix, and that has nothing to do with the size of the baby. The painful part of the pushing phase comes from the baby’s head and shoulders. You can’t just say that the heavier the baby, the bigger those will be; the weight can also come from the baby being longer or chubbier than most newborns. Be ready for anything, but don’t panic ahead of time!

My two babies weighed a total of over 19 pounds and came a total of 20 days late. Unfortunately, big babies don’t seem to be in any hurry to come out!

My advice to you is to know what drug-free methods of pain management are available to you - breathing, heat, water, moving around. Make it clear that you don’t want anything that will confine you to bed, like continuous fetal monitoring or an IV, and that you don’t want pitocin before the baby is out unless there’s a specific need. (Pitocin is specifically contraindicated as a way to speed up slow but healthy labors - it gets used for that anyway!)

Oh yeah, and be warned that even when/if you do get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, your clothes may fit differently and some may not fit at all. Hips spread. Sometimes even rib cages spread. And although fella bilong missus flodnak assures me that the nursing breast is a beautiful thing to behold, it does have an annoying tendency to cause blouse buttons to whimper for mercy…

Good luck!

26

I was two weeks late, though I was very small (6 lbs.) My mother still blames me for this. (I was her first.) My brother, eight years later, was four or five days late, at 8 lbs 12 oz. I don’t think our weights necessarily had much to do with when we arrived, though I could be wrong.

Also, she got back to her pre-pregnancy weight after me, but after my brother, she didn’t. So she blames HIM for that. :slight_smile:

I can’t speak from personal experience, aside from watching her be miserably pregnant with my brother – right at the end, she was plenty uncomfortable. As far as anaesthesia goes she had me with, I quote, “a spinal or something.” I guess she wasn’t paying much attention, and it’s been 26 years. By the time she got to the hospital with me she was already at 8 anyway, after having “weird feelings” for a few hours. :rolleyes: And she didn’t have any drugs at all with my brother. Short labors, too, four and five hours each. We should all be so lucky.

27

Again, congrats!

Answers:

My baby is already getting pretty big (5 pounds at last appointment 2 weeks ago).What are the chances of my first baby coming early?

My first was 10 days overdue and had to be induced. She was 4.06kg which is 8.932lbs, so not a small baby at all. In fact, I didn’t even get REALLY REALLY BIG until about 35 weeks. Even that large head pushing down didn’t get things moving. So, sorry to say, but probably won’t come out early.
What advice would you offer for getting through labor (hopefully) drug-free?

I did it drug-free. I also shattered my coxxyx (tail bone) during the labour. They eventually had to use the vacuum extractor to ger her out. If I had to do it again, I’d have drugs, but only if there were complications (like the tailbone thing). If I had a normal delivery, I’d go for drug-free. I was much more coherent than I expected to be, even moments after the birth.

How long did it take you to “get back” to a normal size (most people have said about a year)?

I’m like Cranky and I’m still not ‘back to normal size’ but that’s my own fault. In fact, in the two months immediately after the birth, the lack of sleep and nursing almost 24 hours around the clock, I lost about 30lbs. I gained it back. And it brought some friends. :frowning:

I suggest, if you are planning on staying home, to try Weight Watchers, which has a special program for nursing mothers. You get to eat a lot more than the regular program, but it’s just enough restriction to keep you focused on what you are eating. Also, it helps to eat well when you’re nursing. My doctor said I could begin that 4-6 weeks after the birth. YMMV.

All the best!

28

Man checking in. So get your grains of salt ready.

I acted as Lady Chance’s ‘birth manager’. She told me what she wanted and I scrambled to take care of it.

Baby Kate arrived on the scene more than 3 weeks late. Given that Lady Chance’s pre-pregnancy weight was less than 110 (further I say not) and Baby Kate weighed in at 9.5 pounds she was induced.

LC went natural for the first few hours and then went to an epidural. They tossed me out during the procedure and whe I got back all were smiles and happiness. Thought the straight oxygen may have had something to do with that as well.

My advice, FWIW, educate yourself and do what seems best. Birth is a natural process and can done done naturally. However, we’re a technological society and a great deal (one might say all, in a certain light) of that technology is designed to provide comfort and relief from stress and pain. Take advantage of that if you’d like.

It’s a personal choice. And I disagree strongly with anyone who tries to tell you which to make. Advice, yes. Orders and judgement, no.

29

Tip for managing baby’s weight - from a friend of mine’s mother (he was born in 1964) - take up smoking.

(I’m willing to bet you won’t get this advice from anyone today).

I’m going to make a recommendation about your due date: Take what the doctor told you. Add two weeks (most doctors will induce you once you are two weeks over) tell everyone (including yourself) that the baby will be born “on or before” that date.

Now, people will assume that you mean that is the due date. And so when your baby is born earlier, they (and you) will be pleasantly surprised. Beats the hell out of picking the earliest possible date for a healthy delivery and then waiting for the longest five weeks of your life.

Regarding home births: I personally think they are a REALLY BAD idea for a first baby. Most hospitals aren’t nearly so quick to pull out the drugs (besides myself, I know a couple of other women who had to threaten their labor and delivery nurse with physical harm before she called for drugs) anymore. And having had a girlfriend who was rushed to OR and spent four hours getting transfusions and being sewn up, another girlfriend whose baby went into fetal distress and the baby was out five minutes later (she was unmedicated, the lengthy part was getting the epidural) - I’d highly recommend the safety of someplace that is possible. My brother in law is a CRNA (he gives a LOT of epidurals) and he tells far too many horror stories of birth gone wrong. Getting a bad epidural or Nubain you didn’t really want isn’t good. Dying or having the baby die is somewhat worse.

Besides, birth is really messy. I wouldn’t want to do that to my own mattress. Now maybe a nice hotel birth…

30

  1. IIRC, women of northern european descent average 41 weks 1 day for first pregnancies. So, ‘late’ is ‘average’. I haven’t been able to find that study again, though, and I wish I’d snagged the whole thing.

  2. Never ever trust the ultrasound. My first, they gave me a weight around 7.5 lbs a few days before his due date. Then I asked what the margin of error was. 1.5 lbs, according to the computer. In other words, I was to expect ‘a baby-sized baby’ - 6 lbs to 9 lbs. Thanks a lot, how helpful! (He was 8 lbs 12 oz., two weeks later) Second baby, estimated on his due date to be 10 lbs 10 oz. Born that day, 9 lbs 6 oz. Fortunately I knew not to trust the size estimate from an ultrasound. I asked the US tech, and she said the calculations are based on standard proportions as well as sizes, so if your baby has long legs, a big head, short arms, etc., the estimated weight will be way off.

I did Bradley Method the first time. Worked great - lasted for um, well, I won’t tell you exactly how long, but more than two days, without meds. But lacking sleep and not dilating (due to poor fetal position), and reaching my limit, opted for an epidural. Wished later that I’d avoided one, but there were few options left. Had a great brith, but bad side effects/reactions. Wrote myself notes about how bad it was, so I’d remember. Really sucky, but I don’t regret it, as it was necessary, and I knew that when I chose it.

Second birth, used HypnoBirthing. I liked Bradley, but wanted faster progress, and HB births TEND (according to the potentially biased data I’ve seen) to be shorter than average. About 6 hours for first births. KEWL. HB was wonderful wonderful wonderful. I ended up not at my birth center again, this time due to polyhydramnios (too much fluid, risk of cord prolapse emergency), and got a sucky OB who tried to scare me into a c-section on the merits of the 10-lb-10-oz US estimate. yeah, right, tell me another one. She then decided to augment my labor, and the L&D nurses happily informed me (I’m not kidding) ‘we’ll keep turning this up until you can’t stand the pain anymore’… only, HB worked fine, and I didn’t have any pain. Intense pressure, but no pain - okay, so I did get a bit of burn on crowning, but that didn’t bother me much. I highly recommend it. Oh, and labor was 4.5 hours from first ‘I actually have to pay attention to that’ contraction to birth.

I also VERY highly recommend a doula. Or two. Had two the first time, which helped because i was in labor so long, they could take turns. But they were friends (as well as experienced in birth issues, one being a Bradley instructor, the other had been her VBAC doula), so they were free. Hired the HB instructor to doula the second time, which was very helpful, as she could come up with custom hypnosis scripts for any issue I developed while dealing with annoying staff. Annoying staff eventually came around, though, and helped me stay on track when I got frustrated that my back wasn’t relaxing ‘enough’ and asked for an epidural just so I could relax better. :rolleyes: at myself. Keep in mind that your mind does funky things when you are hitting transition! (which I was, but didn’t know it - I’d been 4.5 cm dilated just 30 minutes earlier)

Also, there’s a fallacy in the ‘get meds because people who planned meds and don’t get them hated the experience’ concept. People who plan meds and don’t get them AND do not have any experience or practice or preparation for natural coping methods do not cope well. :smack: This seems obvious to me. And the obvious solution to the chance that you’ll get stuck with no meds and no coping methods outside of meds is not to hope and plan harder for meds. It is to learn and practice alternatives to meds, so you WILL have coping methods to draw on if needed. My advice even for those who do not believe natural birth is important (and that’s really a personal issue), is to take natural childbirth classes, and make sure you take ones that suit your normal coping methods. Lamaze is great for some people, but sucks for others (and I’m only talking about the ‘real’ Lamaze classes, not the quickie classes that teach you three breathing methods and don’t tell you to practice your butt off). Bradley works with a variety of styles of approach but not all situations end up doing well, hypnosis is good for many and superior for some, but not everyone’s cup of tea. Spiritual methods can work for those of solid faith. Etc. And all methods are useless if you aren’t up for practicing them.

Fill your labor toolbox with every tool you can get your hands on, because there’s no predicting how it will go, or what tool you’ll need. Same goes for those who plan for natural - know enough about the meds to be able to make an effective and appropriate decision about your meds options if you should find you cannot cope without them.

Also, midwifery is becoming more popular - I just read an article in Working Mother that says that Gen X women are opting for midwifery in 10% of births in the US. In other countries, midwifery is the norm, and OBs just do high risk or complications. I like it, myself. But check the c-section rate even with midwifery - there are two hospitals in my state that are 40 miles apart, both ‘midwifery-based’ birth programs, and one had (at last check) a 14% c-section rate, the other a whopping 40% c-section rate. Same patient base and risk ratios. But one uses a midwifery MODEL, the other just uses midwives. I’ll let you guess which is which.

I was back to ‘normal’ size about 7 months post first birth, eating anything I wanted (and nursing). I was back to ‘normal’ the minute my second son was born - actually, two pounds down from normal. I’m now 60 lbs down from ‘normal’ a year later. I had to go on a Glycemic Index diet due to a high 1-hr GTT (though my 3-hr GTT was normal on the diet), and had to stay on that diet the whole time. I stayed on it after Brendan was born, too. And then had to quit dairy entirely, due to his dairy protien allergy. I started losing so fast at that point I needed to slow it down! For me, the glycemic index diet is very helpful - no hungries anymore, and I can even forget to eat lunch not because I am too busy, but because I simply am not hungry. And that’s WHILE breastfeeding, which generally gives people the hungries anyway.

As for dizzy spells, IIRC they are usually related to blood volume changes and the related difference in blood pressure reactions. But iron level and blood sugar levels may both have an impact (if protien helps, blood sugar may be at issue, in which case, the glycemic index diet may help).

31

I just noticed that you’re 32 weeks. If you plan to go without meds, I’d go take a class, even a one-on-one, ASAP. Like, today.

It takes practice to be able to apply the methods. You need time to practice. 32 weeks is doable (heck, I’ve known people to start at 38 weeks and do fine), but 24 weeks would have been better. yeah, I know, nobody tells you that, and you aren’t really thinking about labor at 24 weeks. Not too late, but really, the sooner you start, the better you’ll be at the method you choose when labor starts.

So, pick up the phone and start calling around! And find your doula soon, too - they need to schedule their lives around your due date, and some warning is nice.

32

Re-reading my post, I would like to apologize for that mental flatulence that spewed out of me. I’m normally not so spaztic about other people’s labor decisions.

If I ever have another baby I would like to do either a water birth or squatting birth.

re: first babies coming early. #1 came a week early. #2 two weeks early. ( actually they came on the dates I told the doctor that they would arrive, not what some lofty MD and their hoity-toity charts said.)

I would like to nominate **Anahita ** for ** Worst Childbirth Injury Award **. While there is no prize money you can pick up your rubber butt donut cushion in the lobby on your way out. Holey Moley, that musta hurt!
**SCSimmons ** Funniest thing I’ve read all morning!

33

Shirley Ujest, it really really really hurt. Apparently, it’s not so uncommon. Also, if you’ve done it once, you’re very likely to do it again! Yikes!

34

Thanks, Shirley! Unless that was the only piece of intended humor you read this morning, in which case :stuck_out_tongue: .

35

I knew there was a reason I wasn’t planning on more kids… I broke my tailbone with #2 Daughter as well. :eek:

36

My early and mid-labors hurt so bad I was trying to die. My epidurals were a Godsend, and I worship my anesthesiologists. Someone mentioned an epidural wearing off- where the hell was the anesthesiologist?!? They aren’t supposed to set it and then go play a around of golf!

First one came right on time, with about 24 hours of labor from start to finish (that includes the “hmm, what’s that?” pain all the way up to the “AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH” part). Second one came on time but FAST- 6 hours from start to finish.

The first time, I had a drug before my epidural (something like nubain or numorphan?), and I was grateful for it. My breathing did nothing after the first bit. I couldn’t get on top of the contractions, and got lost. I was begging for drugs. I even said to my husband “I know the kids next door smoke pot, GO GET ME SOME!” (and no, I don’t even smoke it!). The second time, I was too far along for drugs, but I got my epidural and that did it.

Epidurals aren’t evil or wrong. I was wide awake and able to push, but not screaming in pain. I was present and involved in the birth, without praying for it to be over. It would have been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad experience for me if I hadn’t had my epidurals. Ok, enough of my soapbox…

I am so jealous! I love being pregnant and wish I could be again, but we just don’t know. Don’t worry, it’s nothing physical! Just that we’re not sure we want three kids, what with the two we already have! :smiley:

37

My first epidural was allowed to intentionally wear off because it rendered me completely numb and unable to push. My baby had to be delivered with foreceps. I am not saying epidurals are evil or wrong; they work well sometimes. But in my case (and in the case of many others) they don’t work as planned and other interventions are necessary.

My second epidural was improperly done and the spinal casing piecred, allowing spnial fluid to leak into the epidural space. (Something that occurs in a certain percentage of epidural procedures.) This led to a horrible condition where I could not sit up because I’d get what they termed “spinal headache.” It was 100% more painful than labor. It was dizzying, nauseating, poundingly horrible. Words can’t describe. When it didn’t go away on its own, 2 days after I was discharged from the hosptial I had to return (in January with a newborn) and get what they called a blood patch. Take sample of Ellen’s blood, inject it into spinal column. This is actually what they did to me! I think nails pounded into my back would have hurt less! That was, in fact, what it felt like. The (female) anesthesiologist had to straddle my body to do it. I’m convinced that the forced lying down made it more difficult for my baby and I to become a nursing team, and poor latch-on led to a terrifying case of mastitis.

I hope I’m not horrifying the pregnant ones among us. My third birth was exhilirating. It was quite painful at the moment of birth (Mr. Cherry always says, “I now know what a primal scream sounds like”) but when it was over, it was over. I healed quite nicely and was fit and spry in a days instead of months. I nursed for more than two years and am now two sizes smaller than I was before my first pregnancy! :slight_smile:

38

  1. No clue. I delivered 2 weeks early and my kid only weighed 6 lbs 7oz. They come when they want.

  2. DOn’t let them keep you in bed. Walk. Don’t fight it. I did everything wrong and had a 52 hour labor. I only really made progress after getting an epidural and relaxing.

  3. Nine months up, nine months down.
    Good luck!

39

I’ve been getting the same thing. I’m 22 weeks. My heart will just POUND almost out of my chest, for no real reason. And I can hear the rush, rush, rush of blood channeling through my ears.

The only thing I can possibly attribute it to is the increase blood supply we’re carrying around.

40

My first baby, She of the Enormous Head, was born after 20 hours in the hospital (I went in way too early, in retrospect), constant monitoring (lying down, of course), an amniotomy (the doctor said he was concerned about the baby’s heart rhythm, based on the monitor, and wanted to see how the fluid looked), a shot of Stadol (it didn’t make the pain go away; it just rendered me incapable of expressing how bad it was), an epidural (and at that point, it was a gift from heaven), four and a half hours of pretty ineffective pushing, forceps, and an episiotomy. My little angel (with the Giant Head) weighed 8 lbs, 10 oz.

When I went into labor with the second one at 5 o’clock one afternoon, I took some lessons from the first. Instead of calling the doctor, I ate a light yet nourishing meal, heavy on the carbohydrates. I told my husband to get some sleep, called my mom to alert her that we’d probably be bringing her a grandchild to watch sometime that night, walked around a bit, and practiced my breathing. I finally called the doctor and my mom and woke my husband at around midnight, and got to the hospital between 12:30 and 1:00. I refused an IV, breathed through the contractions, and generally had a sunny time of it right up until 7:00 a.m, when I started having some downright painful contractions. The nurse measured me at 4 cm. I discovered that screaming through the pain was much more helpful than just the breathing, and I rejected the Stadol when it was offered (although I believe my husband would have accepted it for himself). I’d just told the nurse to call an anesthesiologist when she checked me and discovered the baby was crowning. She was born without any interventions (and damn near without a doctor - he was pulling his second glove on as he caught her head) at 7:28 a.m, an extremely healthy 9 lbs, 12 oz.

In short (oops, too late), I’d say that if you truly want a drug-free delivery, you’d do well to be sure you have a supportive doctor and a doula or midwife or some other trained person to support you throughout your labor. A husband may want to help, and it’s wonderfully comforting to know you have someone who loves you right there with you, but he’s unlikely to have the expertise or the emotional distance necessary to help you get through labor in a medical sense. Research your hospital or birthing center’s record for natural vs. medicated births and vaginal vs. cesarian deliveries. Don’t go along with “standard procedure” if it’s not what you want, and do as much groundwork as possible before you’re in labor. It’s very difficult to argue about birthing philosophy with hospital personnel when you have to stop to puff comically every three minutes.

Above all, remember that any birth that results in a healthy baby and a healthy mom is a good birth, no matter how much it might differ from what you’d planned. Every time I think about that first labor and what I might have done differently to avoid medication, I remember just how I felt when I was actually in that position. It’s all very well to second-guess, but 13 years later, my daughter and I are doing just fine, thank you, epidural or no.

As for pre-pregnancy weight, well, so far it’s been 13 years. I’ll keep you posted. I don’t blame that on the babies, though - I suspect the snack foods.