# Question for gay, male dopers (mainly) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 3, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701 "2005-03-03T04:01:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/21 "2005-03-03T17:55:44Z")
Straight guy (albeit unconventionally so) here. Doing “top” within gay sex might make me more uncomfortable, especially if it involves oral sex (which totally gicks me out regardless of gender. yes I know that makes me weird). Meanwhile… we live in a culture where beef and chicken are staple meats. Me, I like to eat calamari and octopus and squab and ostrich and antelope and alligator and so on. My girlfriend gets squeamish just thinking about it (and eating such foods herself just ain’t gonna happen). But you won’t find as many folks who like eating alligator or octopus who get nauseated to think of eating beef because we’re all exposed to the notion that, as the commercial says, “It’s what’s for dinner”. I think in part the straight-folks’ revulsion thing is similar to that: cultural unfamiliarity with the notion makes it sound icky. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/22 "2005-03-03T18:21:19Z")
Straight female - Nope, lesbian sex isn’t a yucky thought for me. I’ve never tried it, never found anyone I particularly wanted to try it with, but the idea has crossed my mind before. Here is a theory I’ve come up with in the past. I can only speak for what I have seen in my life in the US. For women, sex is an internal thing. We have the slots, not the tabs, (nice biological terms there, huh?) So blow jobs, dildos, anal sex… are less of a deviation from what is considered the norm. Anything on the surface of the body is even less so. Generally, men are conditioned to NOT be the receivers. Many guys I know are not comfortable with the idea of anal play during straight sex or even enemas and prostate exams. Heck, I know a guy that has suffered from gastric problems for years, because the exam to find the problem would include “places that are exit only”. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/23 "2005-03-03T21:46:50Z")
As a kid, I remember a joke: What is the definition of gross? When you kiss grandma goodbye and she slips you a little tongue. That is sort of the same reaction I feel when thinking about hetero sex. Kinda gross and not of any interest to me whatsoever. However, the difference is that after a few beers, I don’t feel like getting my Gay buddies together and going out and beating up a breeder. If a guy wants to have sex with a woman, it’s none of my business and more power to him. Just spare me the details. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/24 "2005-03-03T22:09:41Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Here’s a question for any straight guys who may have wandered in: Do you find the idea of topping (being the insertive partner in anal sex, receiving a blow job) to be less gross than bottoming (receiving anal sex, giving a blow job)? The idea of me giving a blow job makes me cringe. The rest of it doesn’t bother me. I’m even a bit curious to try it, but still skittish about the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/25 "2005-03-03T22:21:16Z")
Huh. Come to think of it, women do seem to be more understanding of the gay. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/26 "2005-03-03T22:24:14Z")
Another gay Doper checking in. Hetero style sex isn’t repulsive, but it doesn’t do anything for me, either. It’s more like: “guys are so much more interesting” why bother? Giving it some more thought, the idea of cunnilingus (male-female) hits me more viscerally… but then, analingus does the same thing, too. Tho, on third thought, if my partner is freshly washed, might be worth trying. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/27 "2005-03-03T23:01:20Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Huh. Come to think of it, women do seem to be more understanding of the gay. It’s TEH GAY!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/28 "2005-03-03T23:09:31Z")
Another vote for thoughts of “Close-Your-Eyes-&-Think-of-Fire-Island” “Let’s kill some time before Leno comes back from commercial” male-female sex neither repulses nor excites me but cunnilingus strikes me as icky (though doesn’t leave me nauseous- I’ve performed it in my younger questioning days and got through it okay, I just didn’t particularly enjoy it). ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/29 "2005-03-03T23:25:17Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Here’s a question for any straight guys who may have wandered in: Do you find the idea of topping (being the insertive partner in anal sex, receiving a blow job) to be less gross than bottoming (receiving anal sex, giving a blow job)? Well, let me first say that, as a general principle i don’t find the idea of gay sex “disgusting” or “repulsive” at all, at least not at a general level of abstraction. I guess if i had a large hairy cock in front of my face, it’s quite possible that i’d develop some more visceral feelings about the prospect of putting it in my mouth, but it hasn’t happened yet, and my general feeling about gay sex is more a lack of interest in participating. I do, however, get a little grossed out by semen, and that includes my own. I’m always mightily impressed at women who don’t mind swallowing the stuff, but i don’t think i could ever bring myself to do it. As for being a “top” or a “bottom,” with respect to oral sex i would definitely prefer to be the “top,” largely due to the aforementioned aversion to cum. I’ve been propositioned a few times in gay nightclubs by guys who wanted to blow me, and i came close to accepting on a couple of occasions, but just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. Not quite sure why, to tell you the truth. Would have been something to tell the grandkids. As for anal penetration, i’m not especially grossed out by being either the top or the bottom. I mean, the idea of anal sex with women doesn’t gross me out, so i don’t have a general aversion to the ass. And i’ve had women put their fingers up my butt during sex, and found it pretty stimulating, so the idea of having my ass penetrated doesn’t worry me too much either. Although the typical finger is smaller than the typical erect penis, so that might be a factor. And i’m not at all grossed out by the more general activites of gay romance like kissing. I had and have gay friends whom i kiss in greeting when i see them, and i’ve never really thought much about it. It’s just something i do. Looking back over all that, i realize that i’ll probably have a bunch of people come in and tell me that i’m a closet queen, but the fact remains that i don’t even consider myself vaguely bisexual at all, and that it’s only women who really pique my interest sexually. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/30 "2005-03-03T23:35:13Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Here’s a question for any straight guys who may have wandered in: Do you find the idea of topping (being the insertive partner in anal sex, receiving a blow job) to be less gross than bottoming (receiving anal sex, giving a blow job)? Doesn’t bother me. I can even admit to be curious (almost tried a couple of times). I suspect this is because I had some close gay friends when I was a teen and later, and we talked about all the crap including sex that guys typically talked about. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/31 "2005-03-04T03:40:03Z")
Eww. 7.5 on the ickter scale. Bleah. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/32 "2005-03-13T06:07:47Z")
Boy-on-girl sex? Doesn’t gross me out at all. Just utterly uninteresting (seems to be the common thread here.) If I was horny enough, I might even potentially be able to do it myself, though I don’t intend to try. Going down on a girl seems kind of gross, but no more than licking anything besides food and things I’m sexually wired to like. It’d be about on the level of licking a doorknob for me - it mostly strikes me as icky on an unhygienic level. Penises aren’t any cleaner, of course, but my brain is designed to go for that. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/33 "2005-03-13T09:23:16Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > I have come to the conclusion that almost every single straight guy finds homosexuality and gay sex utterly repulsive. At least, this has been my observations of my floormates here in the dorms. > > My question for the gay dopers is do you find heterosexual sex to be disgusting? I don’t, personally. It’s not something that I would do, but it doesn’t make me retch violently to hear about vaginas. I don’t throw up when people mention :eek: heterosexual intercourse, or even _gasp_a guy and girl kissing _faint_. > > So I have 3 possible explanations for this. Maybe 4 or 5. > > 1)I don’t want to admit that I’m actually bisexual. (Probably not.) > 2)I’m more openminded than some of the other people that I meet. (Maybe) > 3)It doesn’t actually repulse the other straight guys; they just follow suit. > 4)Since heterosexuality is the norm, I’ve been conditioned to be OK with it. > 5)Everyone on my floor is really gay and wants me, but won’t say so. (hah!) > > Opinions? I sum it up in one word: menstruation. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/34 "2005-03-13T12:31:34Z")
bi girl here, hope you don’t mind me chiming in. =) I think I’m kinda weird on this subject. the concept of guy-guy sex doesn’t bother me, nor does gay romance (any more than cutesy bullshit between any couple I’m not involved in). I read & thoroughly enjoy a few mangas with male homoeroticism as a focal point; I’ve watched a few episodes of Queer as Folk and actually been quite turned on by the sex scenes and flirting and steaminess between guys there… but I caught a few minutes of an HBO special on porn, saw two guys fucking in earnest, and almost literally vomited. and seeing a man with another man’s penis in his mouth makes me cringe and shudder like I’m in a tub of roaches, way worse than the actual fucking. these were _hot_ guys, too. _helpless look_ I don’t understand it. if I had to venture a guess, it might have something to do with my aversion (but not repulsion, by any means) to anal sex (I fast-forward through those scenes in straight porn). and yet for some reason two guys fucking missionary style, though I’ve not actually seen it, I don’t see bothering me nearly as much. but as to the OP (since that had nothing to do with it…), I’d guess 4. but I’m definitely not a gay guy, so I’m pretty unqualified to answer that. as to the phenomenon of some gay men being squicked by het sex and/or cunnilingus, I would guess that it’s often really just a repulsion by the vagina in general. I understand it; I used to be that way and probably still would be if I hadn’t met an amazing girl who just radiates sexual energy and brilliance, such that there was no possible way for me to be grossed out by anything about her, which has evolved into an appreciation of females and their anatomy in general. _shrugs_ weird world. anyway, I think it’d probably go the same way for lesbians revolted at the thought of het and/or guy-guy sex (aversion to penis). and as a complete aside: > [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > most “lesbian” porn is a straight woman licking the air about an inch above another straight woman’s vagina. Even if I was a lesbian, that wouldn’t be all that appealing. which is about all it takes to get a straight guy off, and that’s why you see it in porn for guys, not actual lesbian porn. with the exception of some of Jenna Jameson’s older (for-straight-guys) stuff; she always got way into it (and now, shock of the world, she thinks she might be a lesbian _laughs_)… and yeah, as someone who potentially _would_ find lesbian sex appealing, I am rather turned off by most of the stuff that goes on in made-for-guys “lesbian” sex scenes. it’s a double-edged sword, though, because ACTUAL lesbian porn tends to have one or a combination of a) butch girls, b) girls that aren’t as hot, and/or c) strap-ons (_SHUDDER_). _sigh_ guys’ porn it is, then. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/35 "2005-03-13T15:06:46Z")
I remember a gay roommate who was utterly repulsed by straight sex. Strangely, he was divorced from a woman and had a kid. Must have had some bad experiences making that kid, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/36 "2005-03-13T17:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > I do, however, get a little grossed out by semen, and that includes my own. I think this might be a core reason for many and was what I was going to post before I saw you did. Men see other’s men’s seamen as nasty, dirty and something they are repulsed by, to a lesser extent their own. This may be a biological reaction, not a conditioned reaction. This could also help explain why male gay sex = yucky, female lesbian sex = hot. In many ways lesbian sex is seen as ‘clean’, or at least ‘cleaner’ so that goes to the participants, while gay sex = dirty and the participants = dirty. This might be partly responsible for the evolution of marriage, or at least a committed monogamous relationship, as men might be more reluctant to stick his tab in to a slot that was just filled with cum by someone else. I think some of the men who are repulsed by gay sex may be repulsed in the same manner when they think of having sex with a woman who just finished having sex with another guy 10 minutes ago. (btw out of the closet and dam proud of it, hetro checking in here) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/37 "2005-03-13T17:40:59Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Men see other’s men’s seamen as nasty, dirty and something they are repulsed by, to a lesser extent their own. Which of course explains why money shots are a requisite of straight porn. Just out of curiosity, do you _only_ post on topics that you have no knowledge or expertise in? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/38 "2005-03-13T17:43:13Z")
I little more about the cum = dirty theory, many men’s 1st experence with cum, well besides their own conception, is wet dreams. When that person wakes up they find a messy, dirty mess in their PJ’s or whitie tighties, and could start or reinforce the idea that cum = dirty. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/39 "2005-03-13T18:06:32Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Which of course explains why money shots are a requisite of straight porn. Well, given that i was the first person to mention that i’m somewhat grossed out by semen, maybe i should answer this. For me, the grossness (and, as i said, i include my own, not just other people’s) is more to do with texture and the fact that it gets everywhere and gets things all sticky, and then dries like concrete if you don’t clean it up. If all i had to do was look at it, that wouldn’t be such an issue. Anyway, the whole money shot thing in porn is, in my opinion, more about power and, sometimes, humiliation than it is about sex _per se_. Especiall;y when it’s to the face. Also, as one author i read on the subject says, the money shot is necessary to maintain the fantasy that the people who do porn are actually enjoying it. Because that’s never certain in the case of female performers; anyone who’s ever watched porn know how fake the woman’s “cries of orgasm” can sound. With the money shot, the audience at least has evidence that one partner gets off for real. Same with condoms. Nearly everyone acknowledges that the porn industry would be much safer if all performers used condoms, but many studios are reluctant to do this because much of the audience has made it clear that they don’t want to see condoms. Because condoms spoil the fantasy of unlimited, consequence-free sex that porn movies love to perpetuate. Just out of interest **Otto** (or anyone else), is the money shot a standard feature of gay porn as well? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701/40 "2005-03-13T18:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Which of course explains why money shots are a requisite of straight porn - **Otto** Not all men enjoy all aspects of porn, and I would assume that many don’t enjoy seeing the ‘money shot’. I would suspect that those people who do want the money shot be less repulsed by gay sex, cum, and porn Just like torturing other humans, the more you see it the more accepting and less repulsed one becomes. It just may be that acceptance of gay sex is the conditioned response. > [@](#): > > Just out of curiosity, do you only post on topics that you have no knowledge or expertise in? - **Otto** No but I can understand how some closed minded people might think so 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-gay-male-dopers-mainly/292701.md?page=3)