# Question for homosexual men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 6, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763 "2011-10-06T06:28:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/21 "2011-10-06T19:37:30Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > The same way you stopped yourself from getting a boner when seeing a really hot girl. Granted, full on nudity is more of a challenge, and also makes it harder to hide, but it’s merely a matter of degree. But hetero teenage boys DON’T stop themselves from having an erection when seeing a really hot girl. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/22 "2011-10-06T19:39:55Z")
I imagine a lot of guys solve the problem by going into a toilet stall and quickly beating off. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/23 "2011-10-06T19:59:09Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I have to admire you guys’ mind-over-penis, although I’m sorry that fear was such a part of it. As a straight man, I really don’t know if I could shower naked with a handful of naked women and be as “controlled” with my penis. I’m a happily married man with no desire to cheat on my wife, and even assuming these women would have no interest in me sexually whatsoever, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep the boner away. Call it a reflex or instinct, but I don’t think I’d be able to control it. It’s not like you really have an opportunity to ogle people in this situation, either… At absolute most, you could steal a glance or two. It’s not like a scene from a Skinemax softcore film. I think it’s just a combination of understanding the potentially painful repercussions of checkin out your locker partner’s junk and the fact that the situation itself is not particularly erotic. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/24 "2011-10-06T20:33:27Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I imagine a lot of guys solve the problem by going into a toilet stall and quickly beating off. I can only speak for me but not even close. I’ve never understood the appeal of jacking it on a toilet. And I can’t speak for the others who’ve already talked about it but I just don’t think there’s really much more fear than the universal embarrassing fear of getting a stiffy in front of others. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/25 "2011-10-06T21:20:59Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > But hetero teenage boys DON’T stop themselves from having an erection when seeing a really hot girl. Yeah, seriously I couldn’t believe that when I read it. I certainly remember random erections in high school, and even now I don’t really possess a lot of mind over body control. Showering today with a bunch of attractive women would be a challenge. When I was a teenager I think I’d have had a better chance at splitting the atom. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/26 "2011-10-06T21:25:56Z")
But how often would you have been in a situation where an erection couldn’t have been hidden with a well placed notebook or readjustment of clothing? I think, even as teenagers, if you had to shower with a large contingent of girls who are also your peers, you’d very quickly learn to control it as well. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/27 "2011-10-06T21:46:51Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > But how often would you have been in a situation where an erection couldn’t have been hidden with a well placed notebook or readjustment of clothing? Dancing with girls? > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I think, even as teenagers, if you had to shower with a large contingent of girls who are also your peers, you’d very quickly learn to control it as well. _shrug_ I’m much less of a raging bag of hormones, but I still can’t exactly control it. If it feels like rising, well, it’s going to rise. ---
**Author:** ![branjon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@branjon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/branjon)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/28 "2011-10-06T22:49:47Z")
> [@amaguri](#): > > …and the fact that the situation itself is not particularly erotic. Exactly. We’re talking about a high school locker room filled with teenage boys. It smelled awful. AWFUL. Mildewed towels to the left, dirty clothes to the right, and surrounded on all sides by less-than-hygienic adolescents making jokes about bodily functions. Eroticism = 0. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/29 "2011-10-06T22:55:07Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > The same way you stopped yourself from getting a boner when seeing a really hot girl. So not at all? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/30 "2011-10-07T00:12:32Z")
I have to agree that it’s not as hot as you might think it is. I’ve been in enough gyms and stuff and seen plenty of hot guys in the locker room… but I’m just not really thinking about sex in that situation. I’m more concerned with getting dressed and getting home ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![grama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@grama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grama)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/31 "2011-10-07T01:32:31Z")
As others already said, it’s just not an erotic situation, I was never even worried that it might happen, i knew it wouldn’t. Although I must say i got “half” a hardon once, ONCE, and it was because i was alone in the showers with this other guy, and the reason i was having that (unnecesary) shower was because I **wanted to see him naked** again, so at that particular time it **was** an erotic situation. ---
**Author:** ![Monkey\_Chews](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@Monkey\_Chews](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkey_Chews)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/32 "2011-10-07T02:13:10Z")
Fear, awkwardness, embarrassment, shame, and a big dose of “Get me the hell out of here as soon as humanly possible”. Basically my sexuality was so repressed and disconnected from my physical self in my usual day to day goings on that there was simply no risk of that happening. It was only in the dark, alone at night, that I’d even allow myself to entertain those kind of thoughts. During the day time, surrounded by people? At SCHOOL? In the CHANGE ROOMS? Not happening. Not a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/33 "2011-10-07T02:14:58Z")
> [@grama](#): > > As others already said, it’s just not an erotic situation, I was never even worried that it might happen, i knew it wouldn’t. > > Although I must say i got “half” a hardon once, ONCE, and it was because i was alone in the showers with this other guy, and the reason i was having that (unnecesary) shower was because I **wanted to see him naked** again, so at that particular time it **was** an erotic situation. So you actively wanted to be in the shower naked with him, you admit it was erotic-- so how’s you manage to keep it to only half mast? At that point, with eroticism in the air, I’d REALLY have a hard time not getting, er, hard. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/34 "2011-10-07T03:17:41Z")
‘Group’ Showers are generally only in basic, once you get to barracks and more traditional room and board, its more akin to college dorms (or straight on apartments/housing) - so we’re only talking 6-8 weeks on average - and boot camp is not a time when you have ‘time’ to even think about sexuality in that situation - this isn’t a leisurely shower after a workout. Once deplloyed - again - the situation generally is not ‘group’ showers - and if you are concerned, you can probably get your timing just right that you lessen the risk - shower at the beginning of chow time so you’re not ‘exposed’. I’d say if there was ‘risk’ here, it would be during the down time at nite or waking up first thing in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/35 "2011-10-07T03:42:42Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > BTW: My mother had told me that homosexuals raped women because they hated them. So not only was I afraid that I was going to attack children, but women also. Ugh. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/36 "2011-10-07T03:53:38Z")
Yeah, **Foggy**. That’s a tough thing to read. I can’t imagine growing up with the pressures of rejection you clearly faced. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/37 "2011-10-07T04:12:54Z")
There’s another aspect that, in addition to fear, served to remove romantic thoughts: embarrassment over our own bodies. You’re showering with other guys, some of whom are muscular jocks or hung like horses, and there you are with your less-than-perfect body. It makes for intense self-consciousness, and all you’re thinking of is how to get back to your locker and get dressed as quickly as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/38 "2011-10-07T04:18:38Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I would imagine it’s the same way that straight male dressers can assist with costume changes on women. I’m the first to admit I don’t know anything about it but I would have thought (knowing what little I know about the theatre and the rag trade) that “straight male dressers” is almost an oxymoron, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/39 "2011-10-07T04:22:17Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I have to admire you guys’ mind-over-penis, although I’m sorry that fear was such a part of it. As a straight man, I really don’t know if I could shower naked with a handful of naked women and be as “controlled” with my penis. I’m a happily married man with no desire to cheat on my wife, and even assuming these women would have no interest in me sexually whatsoever, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep the boner away. Call it a reflex or instinct, but I don’t think I’d be able to control it. I’m going to share in this admiration. During puberty, there were times when I wasn’t even in control of my erections. My erections were ahead of my thoughts at times. And as a heterosexual man, I think I can speak for all of us when I say we understand the idea that you are NOT attracted to every man you see. Even if they happen to be naked in a group shower. But it only takes one. And if in a shower with a sample set of girls in my high school, I guarantee you that I’d find at least one of the women in the group attractive. And as much as I’d not want to get an erection in a public setting like a high school gym, I doubt at 15-17 years old I’d have the discipline not to at least look at the naked body of one of my nubile classmates. Think Richard Dreyfus in Stakeout. He has a chance to get out of the house without detection, but can’t resist risking it all just to get a glimpse of Madeleine Stowe naked. Now if it were Stakeout 2 and Rosie O’Donnell, sure… but for the most part, we’d try to sneak a peek. There is one thing I obviously can’t relate to, however. The pressure/shame/social stigma that a homosexual teen would face if outed in public, especially in high school. That must have been a very strong motive to concentrate on just getting the hell out of there. If \*\*Foggy \*\*was facing that kind of feedback at home, I imagine social feedback in high school would also be brutal. In a military scenario, I imagine the threat of violence against you would also motivate you to use mind over matter. I’ve never seen another guy in the locker room with an erection, but having that pointed out by someone who wants to share it with the platoon, for example, could have very bad consequences for the one soldier. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/40 "2011-10-07T04:27:10Z")
I’m not gay, but a couple of things occur to me: First, back when I was that age, anyone who commented on anyone else’s penis, or seemed to be looking at one, would be hounded by the other guys for being gay. So even if one guy did have an erection, most everyone else would be trying not to notice, and even if they did, they wouldn’t say anything about it. Second, speaking from personal experience, at that age erections occurred not only at the slightest provocation, they often occurred with no provocation at all. If, for some unfathomable reason, someone _did_ comment on a guy’s erection, he could just say something like “Oh, I was just thinking about my girlfriend”, or about the hot actress he saw in a movie the other day, or about a random chick he saw on the way to school, or whatever. Likewise, if a guy actually noticed another guy had an erection, he might assume the same explanation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763.md?page=3)