# Question for homosexual men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 6, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763 "2011-10-06T06:28:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/41 "2011-10-07T05:23:23Z")
Mind your business, look at the wall ahead of you. Think of dead kittens and other disgusting things you’ve seen, and bank the memory of the hot guys naked for future masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/42 "2011-10-07T07:55:34Z")
Again, I find this weird. I have to think quite intensely about sex to get an erection so the idea of just catching a glimpse of someone you find attractive and _BOING_ is completely foreign to me. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/43 "2011-10-07T08:26:40Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Again, I find this weird. I have to think quite intensely about sex to get an erection so the idea of just catching a glimpse of someone you find attractive and _BOING_ is completely foreign to me. I’m the opposite. The slightest breeze can give me a hard-on. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/44 "2011-10-07T10:39:04Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I’m the first to admit I don’t know anything about it but I would have thought (knowing what little I know about the theatre and the rag trade) that “straight male dressers” is almost an oxymoron, isn’t it? No reason it would be, they’re just helping take clothes off you and putting others on. I’ve helped my classmates get changed quickly for amateur shows and it was about as erotic as cutting my nails. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/45 "2011-10-07T12:24:53Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I’m the first to admit I don’t know anything about it but I would have thought (knowing what little I know about the theatre and the rag trade) that “straight male dressers” is almost an oxymoron, isn’t it? In my case, it was a straight, male ASM who was assisting a poor, overwhelmed dresser faced with three costume changes involving corsets and pettycoats in two minutes. Theater was fun, but I really prefer eating. ---
**Author:** ![grama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@grama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grama)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/46 "2011-10-07T12:29:51Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > So you actively wanted to be in the shower naked with him, you admit it was erotic-- so how’s you manage to keep it to only half mast? At that point, with eroticism in the air, I’d REALLY have a hard time not getting, er, hard. To be honest, once i realized i was getting hard i got the hell out of there. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/47 "2011-10-07T17:02:11Z")
It is not all the difficult - sure, you look, and sure you find some guys attractive, but the rest of the environment pretty much keeps things in check. I mean, it is not like the lights are dim and everyone has had a few beers and…well, that is another story. High school shower rooms are loud, stink to high heaven and 9/10 guys are average at best, and most are in a hurry to get out of there - so not exactly the hotbed of sexual tension. Bob might be hot, but Al, Fred, Chuck, Ernie and Nick are most certainly NOT. End of that story. I also used to go to a Gay gym in West Hollywood. Mind you, the guys going there were drop dead gorgeous, many had been in Gay porn movies, some were actors in legit films and TV shows. You would think that, if anywhere, a Gay gym full of hot guys would be an uncontrollable erotic orgy. It wasn’t. That’s not to say that a few guys there didn’t talk afterwards, maybe meet up for drinks, etc. but in the actual shower room? Nah…too busy, too loud and it still stunk to high heaven, even if the high heaven had lots of hot guys; just didn’t make for the right mood. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/48 "2011-10-07T20:01:18Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I’m the first to admit I don’t know anything about it but I would have thought (knowing what little I know about the theatre and the rag trade) that “straight male dressers” is almost an oxymoron, isn’t it? Almost. I haven’t had a job titled as “dresser” since college, but I have helped with quick changes occasionally since then, especially if the dressers are overwhelmed or the company is too cheap to hire them. I haven’t ever met a straight man who’s making a career in costumes, though. During a change, everyone’s being very professional because the potential consequences of being unprofessional are so drastic. (That is, losing your job and ruining your reputation in an industry that requires good connections and networking.) You really don’t have time to, well, _enjoy_ what you’re doing anyway because if the actor needs help, there’s a big time crunch. ---
**Author:** ![AndyLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AndyLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyLee)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/49 "2011-10-07T21:05:23Z")
I would get a similar question about gay people as I was on the wrestling team in high school. People who have never wrestled think it’s erotic. Let me tell you it is anything but. You got someone on top of you trying to crush you and pin you down, all you can think about is getting out alive 🙂 I imagine it’s the same way for gay people, you may think it’s a potential erotic situation but it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/50 "2011-10-07T21:17:44Z")
Is it OK for someone who is not a gay man to chime in here? OK - I’m a straight female and been, for want of a better word, a nudist for about three decades. As in, I enjoy being in clothing-optional/clothing-free environments .Have spent a LOT of time in such places. Mostly very family-friendly, prim and not sexually oriented (except for Hedonism resort vacations.) Most nudist-type places are more conservative than a Tea Party prom, believe it or not. I have introduced several male friends to this. Every single one of them has expressed great concern about inappropriate boners. But, it’s never happened, even when my male friend was surrounded by 100 or more naked women. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/51 "2011-10-07T21:32:29Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Again, I find this weird. I have to think quite intensely about sex to get an erection so the idea of just catching a glimpse of someone you find attractive and _BOING_ is completely foreign to me. It is to me _now_, but at 15 I didn’t even have to look, just _think_ about it. Plus the closest thing I had to gay porn was Jim Palmer underwear ads so there wasn’t as much stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/52 "2011-10-07T22:20:41Z")
Slightly off topic, but this shower talk about not getting a boner reminded me of this story about Denzel Washington. He was about to do a nude scene in bed with a hot actress. Just before he climbed into bed and before the shot he supposedly said to the actress: “One of two things is going to happen. I apologize in advance for both of them.” which I thought was pretty classy… J. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/53 "2011-10-09T23:33:55Z")
My husband’s in the military and he knew men who were openly gay before the repeal of DADT. Most people are cool with it and you wouldn’t have to worry about violence, just being teased. There is a lot of homosexual teasing and play in the military. For example, my husband said that once when he was showering he had a guy run up to him and start slapping his thigh with his cock. Gay chicken is also a popular game. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/54 "2011-10-10T01:06:25Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Is it OK for someone who is not a gay man to chime in here? > > OK - I’m a straight female and been, for want of a better word, a nudist for about three decades. As in, I enjoy being in clothing-optional/clothing-free environments .Have spent a LOT of time in such places. Mostly very family-friendly, prim and not sexually oriented (except for Hedonism resort vacations.) Most nudist-type places are more conservative than a Tea Party prom, believe it or not. > > I have introduced several male friends to this. Every single one of them has expressed great concern about inappropriate boners. But, it’s never happened, even when my male friend was surrounded by 100 or more naked women. This is an interesting analogy. I will be the first to say that I don’t understand the nudist lifestyle (not that there’s anything wrong with it… I just don’t \*get \*it.) But is there any age limits to a nudist colony? You say family friendly, so it sounds like there isn’t any problem with parents bringing children. I’ve never been to a nudist colony, but if I had to guess, growing up in that environment might make one less likely to become erect. Or as an adult going to one for the first time, I might not have any problems because of fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself, or both. But as a high school aged boy going for the first time? I don’t know. If I saw people old enough to be my grandparents, I’m most likely safe, but if I saw a female classmate I’ve had my eye on in school, or a MILF, I think I might be in trouble and in search of a towel. The fear of embarrassment would be over-ridden by my sexual impulses. Context or activity would also play a role. I don’t think I’d want to see anyone going to the bathroom, for instance, no matter how attractive they might be. ---
**Author:** ![Naxos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Naxos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naxos)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/55 "2011-10-10T01:16:25Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > … I ask this because I don’t think that if I were in a situation where I had to shower with all the girls in my gym class that I’d be able to maintain control. There are about 2 dozen presumptions in that question. If you were allowed to shower in the company of women you may be aroused, but the social rules that would have allowed you to shower with women would not also be critical of your state of arousal. It would be insane if they they were. Your question should rather be – can we allow people to be sexually aroused in social situations, as in showers, when they’re naked, etc, – or not? Would you allow another person in your gym class to look sexually aroused or you’d criticize or reject them? That’s the question. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/56 "2011-10-10T01:18:33Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > This is an interesting analogy. I will be the first to say that I don’t understand the nudist lifestyle (not that there’s anything wrong with it… I just don’t \*get \*it.) But is there any age limits to a nudist colony? You say family friendly, so it sounds like there isn’t any problem with parents bringing children. I’ve never been to a nudist colony, but if I had to guess, growing up in that environment might make one less likely to become erect. Or as an adult going to one for the first time, I might not have any problems because of fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself, or both. But as a high school aged boy going for the first time? I don’t know. If I saw people old enough to be my grandparents, I’m most likely safe, but if I saw a female classmate I’ve had my eye on in school, or a MILF, I think I might be in trouble and in search of a towel. The fear of embarrassment would be over-ridden by my sexual impulses. > > Context or activity would also play a role. I don’t think I’d want to see anyone going to the bathroom, for instance, no matter how attractive they might be. One place I’ve been to quite often is a family nudist place; now that I think of it the few kids I see there are quite young. But I don’t think it would necessarily be a big issue for teenagers who are used to and relaxed about public nakedness. It’s hard to explain - most resorts/spas/bathhouses are so unsexual and, yes, wholesome, naughty thoughts just don’t crop up, as it were. A teenager going for the first time? Probably not easy, in the U.S. I grew up in communes and in countries where nudism and (segregated) bathhouses were quite normal and accepted and nudity, per se, is not necessarily erotic. I most certainly have never been anyplace where it’s acceptable to go go to the bathroom in public! Yuck. Even the Hedonism resorts, which are _very_ adult and sexually-oriented. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/57 "2011-10-10T12:29:18Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I most certainly have never been anyplace where it’s acceptable to go go to the bathroom in public! Yuck. Even the Hedonism resorts, which are _very_ adult and sexually-oriented. Try gay bars in Manhattan. When I was visiting I went to a place that had a toilet bowl sitting completely out in the open with no partition or door or anything. I don’t know who the hell would use such a thing, and I’m someone who likes to be clothing optional! ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763/58 "2011-10-10T19:22:53Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I would imagine it’s the same way that straight male dressers can assist with costume changes on women. You’re there to do a job, in this case: clean yourself, not ogle people. > > Then again, maybe it’s different when you only have fifteen seconds to change someone’s entire outfit before shoving them back on stage. I’m not a gay guy, but I’m a bi girl and have been a dresser for a couple years - I have to say I’ve never been aroused doing that job, even when I had to handle a woman’s tits (very well-endowed lady, very skimpy costume) to get her smoothly in and out of her costumes quickly. There’s just not time for it, and it’s not a sexual situation, it’s too high-stress and businesslike. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-homosexual-men/598763.md?page=2)