# Question for lesbian dopers. Is this offensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717 "2003-04-24T00:02:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/21 "2003-04-24T19:50:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mispeler \* > \*\*why is it some groups can call themselves derogatory names and its ok, but if someone outside their group calls them that it is 1)discrimination, 2)ignorance, 3)hateful, or 4)someotherkindofwrongness > i’m a stupid ole redneck and anyone is welcome to call/refer to me as such, i know who i am and am not ashamed nor offended when i am called what i am, even if it a slang derivative of my actual identity intended to inflict some injury. > or maybe i’m wrong… \*\* It’s not only about “reclaiming”. I don’t use any of these terms in a reclaiming manner, I use them (and accept their use by others within my minority group) because purely by the fact of _being_ a member of the group, others know I do not mean it in a derogatory way. By being myself a lebenese (personal favvo term), I have automatically gotten the “free card” that all the hip-cool-liberal-lovely people whose black friends let say nigger, gay friends let say fag, etc, have _earned_ through good behavior. Does that make any sense? I get like “pre-approved” for the option of using derogatory terms as terms of affection. Same way as I will refer to random friends as “yer an awful bastard” etc. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/22 "2003-04-24T19:52:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > [B… the battle for connotation of “cunt” has only just begun. \*\* Wow. Now _that’s_ a sentence! Sig? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/23 "2003-04-24T20:00:27Z")
It’s true, too. Women and various feminists are arguing back and forth about this point. I consider myself a feminist and I support the women on this issue, but cunt is the one word I have trouble bringing myself to say. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/24 "2003-04-24T20:02:11Z")
By the way- Lesbian Dopers. Wow. Just throw Communist into that title and you’ve got yourself a great McCarthy-era short propaganda film. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/25 "2003-04-24T20:40:07Z")
I have been thinking about this post all day, and want to make another comment (I assume that is ok). What is really boils down to is what you let affect you. I am a white southerner, lower income, blue collar worker. Nothing impressive really, average intellegence, average wife, average home. If someone calls me a dirty redneck or a cracker I don’t let it bother me. As a matter of fact I will usually laugh it off and move on. The biggest problem with words like ‘lesbo’ and ‘nigger’ is that _too_ many people let it bother them. **Marley23** said above _“Not all black people use ‘nigger’… \ Some people won’t care, but Jesse Jackson wouldn’t tolerate it. Same goes for pretty much any other term with its respective group.”_ If Jesse Jackson would laugh at the hateful, ignorant asshole who called him a nigger there wouldn’t be a problem. Hateful words only affect you if you let them, and if someone uses a word like that to you or yours then you know not to associate yourself with that person. Social paraiah’s don’t reproduce (we hope). I spoke with Terry (my wifes best friend who I mentioned in my first post who just happens to be a lesbian) about this issue. She said that in most cases it doesn’t really bother her. Once she left the proverbial closet, she let things like ‘lesbos’ and ‘dyke’ slide right off. She said that usually if someone calls her a derogatory name she will get mock angry and yell “HETERO!!!” at them. She said it works about 80% of the time. Remember, fighting ignorance sometimes means you have to laugh at the ignorant bastard. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/26 "2003-04-24T20:44:47Z")
I don’t have a problem with anyone using the term “lesbo”, be they straight or bent. I also don’t have a problem with “cunt”, or “pussy” or any other word for that matter. I do have a problem with bad attitudes. When it all comes down to it, you can’t miss the forest for the trees. Someone can walk up to me and piss me off to no end using nothing by polite, sweet words. Someone can walk up to me, call me a carpet-munching sexual deviant, and I might very well squeal in happiness and hug them. It really depends on the circumstances, and the important issue is intent. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/27 "2003-04-24T20:52:39Z")
I once mentioned to a co-worker that my wife and I were going to an Indigo Girls concert that night. “Wow,” said my co-worker, “I didn’t know you were into that lesbo music.” Me: pause, blinking, then: “_What_ did you say?” Co-worker turns red, shakes her head: “Uh, nothing.” Count me with those who said that the quotient of offensiveness in terms like this is measured by the intent of the speaker. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/28 "2003-04-24T20:56:18Z")
On Pobitch they always say “lesbitarian.” It makes me laugh, because all I can think about then is **Libertarian** on these boards. Who I am pretty sure is male, and not a lesbian at all 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/29 "2003-04-24T23:41:17Z")
I asked my friend, as promised, and she said she didn’t like the word because of the kind of people who generally used it, but that it wasn’t devastating to her. Her “family” doesn’t use the word. ---
**Author:** ![mojave66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/30 "2003-04-25T03:23:55Z")
I’ve very, _very_ ocassionally heard it used as kind of a “between lesbians” joke with my friends. I’ve heard the wannabe-hip (described brilliantly above) use it, causing me to roll my eyes, and I’ve had assholes yell it at me, causing me to either flip them off or get the hell out of there, depending on relative size. I guess I’d have to say it depends on context. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/31 "2003-04-25T16:35:54Z")
So the question is, are people interested in how to offend a lesbian, or how not to offend one? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/32 "2003-04-25T21:51:22Z")
Odd. But some lady taught me that ‘lesbian’ comes from an island with the name of Lesbos: " island Greece in the Aegean off NW Turkey area 630 square miles (1632 square kilometers), population 103,700" (Websters) Why would anyone be offended by that? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/33 "2003-04-25T22:00:42Z")
I wouldn’t get offended if someone called me a lesbo, partly because I’m stronger than that, partly because it would just show how stupid the name-caller is. In that way these hate words are quite useful - they bring the homophobes out of the closet woodwork. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/34 "2003-04-25T22:42:13Z")
handy, the pronunciation is entirely different. Lezboss is the general pronunciation of Lesbos the island, where as lezBOZE is the pronunciation of the onebeing referred to here. I would guess most of the people who use the word sincerely wouldn’t be able to point out greece on a map 😉 I hate the word lesbian at all, it just has such an icky sound. I usually refer to myself (when the need arises) as gay. My fave variants of lesbian are lebenese and lebsian 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/35 "2003-04-25T23:10:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Harli \* > \*\* > … Even if he _is_ a supporter of the GLBT Community… \*\* Anyone else see GBLT and think of a sandwich? Or maybe I’m just hungry… Oh, and using the word ‘lesbo’ in any kind of non-humourous manner? pu-leez… ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/36 "2003-04-25T23:12:22Z")
bit of a slip there…shoulda bin GLBT, which still makes me think mmm…food… ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/37 "2003-04-26T00:47:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_dragon \* > **Anyone else see GBLT and think of a sandwich?** Yup. Gouda, Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato. They’re yummy. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717/38 "2003-04-26T02:16:45Z")
## quote: Originally posted by AHunter3 … the battle for connotation of “cunt” has only just begun. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EJsGirl \* > Wow. Now _that’s_ a sentence! It’s more Bacharah and David by way of Karen Carpenter for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-lesbian-dopers-is-this-offensive/170717.md?page=1)