# Question for Males about the People They Pine After **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594 "2011-10-14T01:56:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/1 "2011-10-14T01:56:22Z")
When you think of the person you are infatuated and/or in lust with, do you imagine something sexual, generally romantic, or something else? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/2 "2011-10-14T02:00:05Z")
Sex please. Male in mid20s. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/3 "2011-10-14T02:01:01Z")
This was meant to be a poll. Stupid SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/4 "2011-10-14T02:04:02Z")
When you think of the person you are infatuated and/or in lust with, do you imagine something sexual, generally romantic, or something else? ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/5 "2011-10-14T02:08:20Z")
Definitely sexual. The women I’m “after” – not in a perv way, just interested in – tend to be pretty, smart, and not afraid to talk to me about innocuous stuff (books, movies, whatever). I can imagine myself being tender and caring towards them in various ways, but only after they’ve proved themselves worthy of being a woman about whom I’d caren-- through their tenderness and caring dispositions (I don’t mean about me, necessarily, but if they did wrong to various domesticated animals, it would be a dealbreaker in the extreme). If I didn’t really like a girl that much, I might fuck her, but I wouldn’t (probably) go down on her or make her breakfast. She’s got to be a good person, in my layperson’s opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/6 "2011-10-14T02:32:49Z")
Sex. I’m not a very romantic person. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/7 "2011-10-14T02:38:01Z")
Straight male. Sex _and_ romance. Probably sex more often, however. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/8 "2011-10-14T02:44:01Z")
Sexual, of course. ---
**Author:** ![ModernPrimate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85e7bf/32.png) [@ModernPrimate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernPrimate)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/9 "2011-10-14T02:46:21Z")
Lots of things, it’s not just sexual. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/10 "2011-10-14T02:47:18Z")
Merged duplicate threads (one with, one without poll). ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/11 "2011-10-14T02:53:21Z")
Straight male: both. I can’t say there’s been a single girl I was interested in that I haven’t had sexual thoughts about. But the ones I really cared for I also had romantic thoughts and fantasies about as well. The one that had the most romantic thoughts about eventually ended up as my wife, but there were a few others who got both treatments in my head. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/12 "2011-10-14T03:02:48Z")
Could you define “romantic” both in general definition and by giving specific examples? Me, I think of sex, cuddling, talking/relating, taking walks, planning the future and perhaps some other things I can’t think of right now. This is if my attraction is physical, emotional and intellectual. If it’s just physical attraction, then I only think about sex. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/13 "2011-10-14T03:09:59Z")
Sex is orgasm oriented; romance is other physically and emotionally intimate interactions without the intent of orgasms. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/14 "2011-10-14T03:11:22Z")
Still don’t get the distinction between sex and romance. Finance without romance, I get, and vice versa, but isn’t all romance basically about fucking and being nice to another person? What _is_ a romantic thought? I really don’t know. Some women with whom I was close merited flowers sent from across the globe and nice letters, but is that what romantic is? Because, in those cases, when we saw each other, just did it in the road, pretty much, which is probably not romantic according to most definitions. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/15 "2011-10-14T03:13:43Z")
nm. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/16 "2011-10-14T03:25:42Z")
> [@Jaledin](#): > > Still don’t get the distinction between sex and romance. Women’s #1 complaint about men… 😃 Though the sending of the flowers and nice letters indicates you might know more than you claim…! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/17 "2011-10-14T03:26:06Z")
Sex. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/18 "2011-10-14T03:35:22Z")
> [@Jaledin](#): > > but isn’t all romance basically about fucking and being nice to another person? No. Romance is defined as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Sex is in no way required, and isn’t even restricted to interpersonal interaction. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/19 "2011-10-14T03:51:37Z")
I stop imagining at kissing. Because that’s where it ends in '80s romantic comedies, and that’s what I base my life on. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/20 "2011-10-14T03:58:37Z")
“Something else”, but I don’t know exactly what. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594.md?page=2)