# Question for Males about the People They Pine After **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594 "2011-10-14T01:56:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/21 "2011-10-14T04:11:10Z")
Sex. Not only sex. But first sex. Then something else. Then more sex. Then something to eat. Then sex. Then sex while eating. Then sex. Then something else, while having sex. Then something else while eating and having sex. Then sex. I pretty much have to rule out infatuation or lust with most women or I would never get anything done. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/22 "2011-10-14T06:24:50Z")
Not only am I the first option, but I find it so weird that everyone else is in the second option. The idea of going around thinking about sex just seems, well, perverted. It makes sense to do it when you masturbate (although that’s not even necessary), but not just fantasizing. ---
**Author:** ![studmuffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@studmuffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/studmuffin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/23 "2011-10-14T06:59:49Z")
WTF is the Sexuality Binary ? I just need someone to replace Mumsie, who hasn’t said much in the last year and is becoming a bit smelly and crumbly. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/24 "2011-10-14T10:15:41Z")
> [@Ephemera](#): > > Sex is orgasm oriented; romance is other physically and emotionally intimate interactions without the intent of orgasms. Then I voted correctly with “romance”. When I pine after someone the orgasm is the last thing I think about. Usually i mostly fantasize about gettin together and the real vanilla stuff like cuddling on a couch, or her falling asleep in my arms…I wil admit that in my fantasies we’re usually naked during these things:D ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/25 "2011-10-14T11:19:13Z")
Both sex and romance. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/26 "2011-10-14T12:21:42Z")
In my younger days, when I would regularly fantasize/daydream about the girls/women I was acquainted with, those fantasies would regularly involve any or all of the three categories: sexual (getting naked and doing stuff to each other), romantic (kissing, declarations of love, the kinds of encounters that characters in romantic comedies have), and friendship/companionship (spending time together, experiencing life together, getting to know one another in the non-Biblical sense). I didn’t have much of any of these things with members of the opposite sex until relatively late in life, and I longed for and fantasized about all of them. Nowadays, I’m fortunate enough to have a woman who satisfies all three of these urges, and my thoughts about her when I’m not with her fall into all three categories. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/27 "2011-10-14T12:52:00Z")
30% sex, 50% romance, 20% something else. ---
**Author:** ![grama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@grama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grama)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/28 "2011-10-14T12:59:08Z")
Hot crazy monkey sex ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/29 "2011-10-14T13:12:57Z")
Something else. I just think about her, not about what I want to do to her. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/30 "2011-10-14T13:52:31Z")
I said sex, but it’s really a combination of the two. I love sex. Big fan of sex. But romance is a hell of a lot of fun too. The companionship of a woman you really, really connect with is awesome. If it wasn’t, the logical thing to do would be to just hire escorts. It would hardly be any more expensive than dating and you’d get high quality sex with beautiful women (and in Canada, it’s totally legal.) And yet I don’t, and most guys don’t, because the companionship aspect is worth something. But sex, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of depends on my mood though. Like **polar bear** , there are times I think about a woman just how nice it’d be if she was lounging around on my couch while we drank coffee and didn’t say much at all. I probably miss that feeling since my divorce more than I do the sex. Cheap sex isn’t that hard to get; companionship, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/31 "2011-10-14T14:09:25Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Both sex and romance. +1 Romance can be foreplay for sex, even if that moment is off in the future. But its also a fun way to spend the now. I think Penelope Cruz said it best: “Pleasure Delayer…” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594/32 "2011-10-14T15:29:13Z")
I have sufficient sex and romance in my life, but I still find hot men hot. I like the scenery. I voted “something else.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-males-about-the-people-they-pine-after/599594.md?page=1)