# Question for men: Which noun do you prefer to be designated by? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108 "2012-09-28T04:53:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/21 "2012-09-28T15:18:25Z")
I said “guy.” Sometimes when someone refers to me as a man, I go into panic mode. Like, Holy shit, when the heck did I become an adult man with actual responsibilities and a mortgage and stuff? I don’t smoke a pipe! I don’t even own a suit! I’m just a guy. A 37 year old guy, with actual responsibilities and a mortgage and stuff, true, but still just a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/22 "2012-09-28T16:10:38Z")
What, no dickface? This poll is sexist. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/23 "2012-09-28T16:22:57Z")
I voted for all of the choices except ‘boy’ and ‘lad’. I’m 45; I haven’t’ been a ‘boy’ or a ‘lad’ for quite some time now. I don’t really care too much one way or another, really. Just don’t call me “Tim”. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/24 "2012-09-28T16:26:15Z")
Ok, Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/25 "2012-09-28T16:30:17Z")
I’m usually good with “hoopy frood” but almost nobody around here (western spiral arm) uses that term. Talking about me–anything but man. “That man over there.” Men are soul-dead and closed-minded porkpie wearers. Ward Cleaver was a man. I am not that. Addressing me–I’m a lot like a dog in this regard. I don’t much care if you call me guy, bloke, dude, book, shaft, opossum, or dryrot; it’s your tone I’m listening for and responding to. ETA: “You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay…” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/26 "2012-09-28T19:30:46Z")
I’m a dude. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/27 "2012-09-28T19:35:40Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I try to be a gentleman. Missing from that list is ‘Sir’. I appreciate your gentlemanliness, sir. The reason I didn’t include _sir_ is because this poll is only asking about third-person designations, not forms of direct address. > [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > They are all fine, except perhaps for “boy” or “lad” which are pretty content specific. Here in the US of A, I’d tolerate those only from an Irishman or a Scot. I did make an effort to be international in scope. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/28 "2012-09-28T19:42:10Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Talking about me–anything but man. “That man over there.” Men are soul-dead and closed-minded porkpie wearers. Ward Cleaver was a man. I am not that. It still seems so strange to me that adults would reject the plain, straightforward words _man_ and _woman_. Maybe because I remember the Civil Rights struggle of the '60s in which _[to be a man](http://www.leancrew.com/all-this/images2011/i-am-a-man.jpg)_ was valued as something meaningful and important. It has been a very long struggle indeed. [Am I Not a Man and a Brother](http://wp.stockton.edu/hist3605/files/2012/01/Am-I-Not-A-Man-and-A-Brother-Abolitionist-Slogan.jpg) [Am I Not a Woman and a Sister](http://www.elcivics.com/images/not-a-woman.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/29 "2012-09-28T19:42:21Z")
“Calvin … Boy of DES-tiny.” ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/30 "2012-09-28T19:48:22Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I said “guy.” Sometimes when someone refers to me as a man, I go into panic mode. Like, Holy shit, when the heck did I become an adult man with actual responsibilities and a mortgage and stuff? I don’t smoke a pipe! I don’t even own a suit! I’m just a guy. A 37 year old guy, with actual responsibilities and a mortgage and stuff, true, but still just a guy. This is similar to how I feel and, as such, I also voted “guy” and “dude”, as I will use “dude” often amongst my friends. I generally prefer informality, and as such, unless someone is considerably older, I’ll probably not call that person a man or woman either. The other part is, it seems kind of weird to me to identify someone by sex unless it’s directly relevant and I’ll tend to avoid it. That said, if trying to point someone out I might say man or woman if maybe giving a description of someone, but generally not to them. It’s just generally not something I really think about when I conceptualize someone. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/31 "2012-09-28T20:56:35Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > It still seems so strange to me that adults would reject the plain, straightforward words _man_ and _woman_. Maybe because I remember the Civil Rights struggle of the '60s in which _[to be a man](http://www.leancrew.com/all-this/images2011/i-am-a-man.jpg)_ was valued as something meaningful and important. You’re a smart broad, you can get your head around it easily enough, I think. “A man” is the base model, tallywacker-bearing variety of homo sapiens. A woman is, well, the same sort of thing with different bits. Civil Rights in the 60s was about getting all homo sapiens to be recognized as, at the very least, the base model homo sapiens. And yeah, it looks like it was a bit of an undertaking to get to the point where my daughters just take for granted they can have a career, wear pants, vote, interact with other people of various pigmentations, etc. without becoming the subject of public ridicule or even legal action. And therein lies the revulsion of the term. “Man” carries two sets of baggage. The visceral meaning of the word is [this](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kmfC_kM0mPc/TgXbj0SOoAI/AAAAAAAACLo/xdVGmwKaI1M/s400/ward_cleaver.jpg), which is the target in the 60s Civil Rights movement, but it is most importantly [this](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/boston/to+be+a+man_20023088.html). Rather than reconcile the two polar meanings, it’s easier to just go with a different term. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/32 "2012-09-29T01:47:49Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I prefer to be referred to as “God’s Gift to Women.” I prefer to be referred to as “God’s Gag Gift to Women.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/33 "2012-10-01T08:12:55Z")
All but “boy,” “lad,” and “a male” are fine with me. The first two are infantilizing, and the latter is generally used by sexists. I almost didn’t vote for “cat,” but I decided that the only use that makes sense is with someone using old outdated slang for fun, and, in that context, it would be a compliment. Interesting that there are a lot more acceptable options in this thread. And if you are offended because I say “I saw a man walking down the street today,” then you are just out of touch. There is no way that can be interpreted as the other type of “be a man.” It is not easier to avoid a word, since there really isn’t another neutral word. And there is no such context for women. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108/34 "2012-10-01T15:52:26Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > All but “boy,” “lad,” and “a male” are fine with me. The first two are infantilizing, and the latter is generally used by sexists. Good, we agree on that. > [@](#): > > I almost didn’t vote for “cat,” but I decided that the only use that makes sense is with someone using old outdated slang for fun, and, in that context, it would be a compliment. That too. > [@](#): > > And if you are offended because I say “I saw a man walking down the street today,” then you are just out of touch. There is no way that can be interpreted as the other type of “be a man.” It is not easier to avoid a word, since there really isn’t another neutral word. That too! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-men-which-noun-do-you-prefer-to-be-designated-by/636108.md?page=1)