# Question for the ladies: How long does it take you to orgasm? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669 "2005-02-06T17:10:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/21 "2005-02-07T22:53:57Z")
holy crap…man and women are soooooooo different! You give up on an orgasam and just go to bed!!! As a man, that thought is just so alien to me! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/22 "2005-02-08T01:22:19Z")
> [@Dob](#): > > holy crap…man and women are soooooooo different! You give up on an orgasam and just go to bed!!! As a man, that thought is just so alien to me! I’m quite floored myself. I never knew this about women and I’m 34!! ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/23 "2005-02-08T01:46:42Z")
Cold start… yeah, five to ten minutes sounds about right, provided I pull out some standard fantasies and I’m not sick/distracted/blah/etc. It’s usually a little orgasm, though. The big ones take more workup. BTW, the male reactions to the “Fuck it, I’m going to sleep,” little factoid above amuse me. A lot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/24 "2005-02-08T03:54:34Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > BTW, the male reactions to the “Fuck it, I’m going to sleep,” little factoid above amuse me. A lot. 😃 Yeah, me too. I never thought of it any other way. Sometimes it’s just not worth it! ---
**Author:** ![WCOT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e5b9ba/32.png) [@WCOT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WCOT)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/25 "2005-02-08T04:29:23Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > Cold start… yeah, five to ten minutes sounds about right, provided I pull out some standard fantasies and I’m not sick/distracted/blah/etc. It’s usually a little orgasm, though. The big ones take more workup. > > BTW, the male reactions to the “Fuck it, I’m going to sleep,” little factoid above amuse me. A lot. 😃 Wow giving up on an orgasm, its like giving up on a child… ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/26 "2005-02-08T09:13:16Z")
Now that some of us have shared, can I ask–how long does your friend take? ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/27 "2005-02-08T15:17:48Z")
> [@WCOT©](#): > > Wow giving up on an orgasm, its like giving up on a child… That’s why we’ve instituted my own personal ‘No Child Left Behind’ program at our house… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/28 "2005-02-08T15:22:39Z")
> [@Stonebow](#): > > That’s why we’ve instituted my own personal ‘No Child Left Behind’ program at our house… _snort_ Very good. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/29 "2005-02-08T16:00:28Z")
'Bout ten minutes, unless I’m really, really horny, in which case it can take as little as two minutes. _But_ if I’m really, really tired, sometimes I’ll doze off in the middle, wake up, remember what I was doing, and resume. When this happens, and I doze off a couple of times, it could take up to an hour. Like others, there have been (rare) times when I’ve realized it just ain’t gonna happen, and go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/30 "2005-02-08T17:06:43Z")
Cold start, masturbation, not very long, 5-10 min. maybe. With oral or sex though, for freakin’ ever. I don’t know why, exactly, but sometimes it takes me 30 min. or more. Maybe I’m just indulgent. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/31 "2005-02-08T17:20:40Z")
If horny, 5-10 minutes. If, “Oh, I’m a little tense, maybe I should use Rysler-Brand-Sleep-Aid,” 30-45. > [@norinew](#): > > But if I’m really, really tired, sometimes I’ll doze off in the middle, wake up, remember what I was doing, and resume. When this happens, and I doze off a couple of times, it could take up to an hour. Been there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/32 "2005-02-08T18:30:00Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > Been there. Good to know I’m not the only one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/33 "2005-02-08T18:40:35Z")
So let me get this straight… NOT ONLY do you sometimes just give up on an orgasm but, on occasion, you _fall asleep while doing it_!?!?! ::wanders off wondering how members of the same species can be so different:: ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/34 "2005-02-08T19:12:14Z")
When masturbating (without toys ) it takes me maybe 4-5 minutes to orgasm… then I’ll wait a minute or two and have another, wait a minute or two and have another, etc., etc. Masturbating _with_ toys takes a little longer. If it took me 45 minutes to orgasm with masturbation I wiouldn’t even bother!! ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/35 "2005-02-08T19:40:19Z")
By myself? 3-7 minutes. With a partner? Um…well…it’s been so long, I can’t remember. During oral sex? Climax then? That happens? I mean, it feels good and all, but an orgasm? Really? ---
**Author:** ![alphaFemale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@alphaFemale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaFemale)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/36 "2005-02-09T01:48:15Z")
90 seconds to 30 minutes. it just depends. ---
**Author:** ![alphaFemale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@alphaFemale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaFemale)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/37 "2005-02-09T01:51:58Z")
i’ve actually fallen asleep while masturbating. poor, poor me. ---
**Author:** ![rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/38 "2005-02-09T04:39:16Z")
To all the ladies that answered this, thanks very much for your imput. It’s really appreciated. My friend has had issues regarding this (in terms of insecurities) and just wouldn’t accept that she was “within the norm” like I kept telling her, but it was really doing a number on her self esteem. (And to answer the question asked, she has apparently never been able to do it by hand, although I attribute that to her ridiculous impatience, but with a vibrator it apparently varied along the same sort of time periods mentioned here. That is, from several minutes to never. The biggest problem I think she had was that sometimes it just DIDN’T happen, and I guess she questioned her sexuality). ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/39 "2005-02-09T06:19:58Z")
Not reading anyone else’s reply as requested, cold start, favorite toy included, about 5 minutes. Normally not a cold start, though - and feel frisky first, in which case it is rare to be more than 3 minutes. Anything other than that toy, at least 10 minutes, cold start or not. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669/40 "2005-02-09T07:42:07Z")
If I am already revved up from having read or seen something that is stimulating, I’m on a hair-trigger, and it doesn’t take more than thirty seconds to get to the Land of Aaahs. If I am just lying there with no particular stimulus on my mind, it usually takes about five minutes. Sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. The ultimate rejection: you’re doing yourself and it’s so dull that you fall asleep. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-ladies-how-long-does-it-take-you-to-orgasm/288669.md?page=3)