# Question for the men: Would you consider taking your wife's last name and naming the kids after her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 24, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999 "2011-11-24T20:43:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/41 "2011-11-25T06:19:21Z")
Heh. My boyfriend says that if we get married, he wants to take my name because he likes it better than his. But I want to change MY name to his, as his is far rarer (as in, “only family in the US and possibly the world to have it” rarer). So maybe we’ll just switch last names and call it a day. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/42 "2011-11-25T09:07:59Z")
One of my friends and her husband did that. Something that was interesting was when they came to get new passports the issuing authority said that he would need to change his name by deed pole for them to allow him to use her name. They got into a fairly short dispute with the authority on this, pointing out that a marriage certificate is the only proof of name change a woman needs, and why should it be different for a man? After a while the authority decided it didn’t have a good argument against this and just let him change it, and I don’t think anywhere else objected. I won’t be marrying a woman (gay) but if I were to marry another man I’d quite happily take his name than dick around with a double-barrel. I’m not in the least attached to my name or the notion of carrying on the family line. I quite like the idea of bequething surnames to children based on gender (girl takes mother’s, boy takes father’s), it’s similar to what they have done for centuries in Iceland where your surname is [same gender parent’s firstname]+[son or dottir depending on the gender of the person]. So if Bjorn Karlson has a male child called Eric he becomes Eric Bjornson. They seem to keep genealogies without the same surname being used each generation, god knows how though. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/43 "2011-11-25T09:31:09Z")
I’m not attached to my surname, if my wife (who has kept her surname anyway) wanted it done that way, I’d do it. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/44 "2011-11-25T09:32:50Z")
as a (hot) queen’s consort, sure. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/45 "2011-11-25T10:08:42Z")
I didn’t take my wife’s family name, although I did entertain the idea pretty seriously, but our son has her name, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/46 "2011-11-25T10:27:18Z")
> [@RogerDalien](#): > > I’m all for equality and all that, but this is one area where there can be no compromise. “I’m all for equality with the following exceptions” is a way of saying “I’m not for equality”, unless there’s an unavoidable reason for the exceptions… Sorry… One of my friends did have her husband take her surname, but she became Mrs, and they were quite serious about keeping the symmetry of them both changing _something_. It does feel weird to me to change my name, and since we’re not planning children and we both have professional careers, we felt we didn’t have to match, but I feel that in this millennium it’s my responsibility to get over those feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/47 "2011-11-25T13:33:08Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The mother’s last name is still the last name of _her_ father, so you’ll still ultimately be taking the name from a man. If you want to strike back at eeeeeevil male chauvinistic sexist patriarchal sexist chauvinist misogynist patriarchy, you’ll have to find another way. People make this point a lot and it doesn’t make much sense to me. It would also be \*her \*last name and would have been for her entire life, no matter where it came from. And it’s presumably the name that connects her to generations of her own relatives. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/48 "2011-11-25T13:53:52Z")
My surname is virtually incomprehensible. I’ve spent most of my life spelling it out for people. It usually takes four or five attempts. I would love to take my wife’s surname. ---
**Author:** ![Hilary\_Algar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilary_algar/32/4282_2.png) [@Hilary\_Algar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilary_Algar)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/49 "2011-11-25T13:54:23Z")
In a recent poll of 815 US residents, 50% supported a “_law_ that would _require_ a woman to take her husband’s last name.” (emphasis mine) [www.shine.yahoo.com/.../want-law-passed-force-women-husbands-last-name](http://www.shine.yahoo.com/.../want-law-passed-force-women-husbands-last-name) ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/50 "2011-11-25T13:57:02Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The mother’s last name is still the last name of _her_ father, so you’ll still ultimately be taking the name from a man. If you want to strike back at eeeeeevil male chauvinistic sexist patriarchal sexist chauvinist misogynist patriarchy, you’ll have to find another way. Not necessarily. Mine isn’t. Loads of people’s aren’t. This is in no way a universal rule. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/51 "2011-11-25T14:00:25Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > I wouldn’t take my wife’s last name, and I would prefer if she keep hers. As for naming kids, I wonder if a “sons get the father’s last name, daughters get the mother’s last name” system would be practical. That is exactly how we did it. She kept her name, I kept mine and my daughter has her name. If it had been a son he would have had mine. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/52 "2011-11-25T14:00:51Z")
No. I like my last name and will never give it up. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/53 "2011-11-25T14:16:49Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The mother’s last name is still the last name of _her_ father, so you’ll still ultimately be taking the name from a man. If you want to strike back at eeeeeevil male chauvinistic sexist patriarchal sexist chauvinist misogynist patriarchy, you’ll have to find another way. My father has my grandmother’s surname and so if my sister had children and gave them her name, it would be following her paternal grandmother, whose name had come from a female ancestress following the Civil War. Not everybody’s surname follows standard married WASP origins. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/54 "2011-11-25T14:27:24Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The mother’s last name is still the last name of _her_ father, so you’ll still ultimately be taking the name from a man. If you want to strike back at eeeeeevil male chauvinistic sexist patriarchal sexist chauvinist misogynist patriarchy, you’ll have to find another way. Here’s a suggestion - drop the whole “last of the line” mentality crap and then it’ll cease to matter, I can’t believe that actually even figures in people’s minds. Or something else, when two couples marry pick an entirely different surname unrelated to both of them that they like. Everyone wins. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/55 "2011-11-25T16:11:40Z")
I’ve got no problem with it. When I got married, I told my fiancee that I had no problem with taking her name; she was the one who insisted on tradition and took mine. We’re divorced now, but she kept my name anyway-- she preferred it over her maiden name. In relationships since, I’ve made the same offer when seriously discussing marriage. I’ve never been taken up on the offer, but I seriously have no issue with changing my name to my wife’s name. Even when the names have been less than euphonious (one young lady’s last name was rather ugly, both in looks and pronunciation… but it apparently carried considerable weight in her hometown in PA, where her family was a powerful local political force). ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/56 "2011-11-25T16:23:42Z")
Sure, why not? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/57 "2011-11-25T16:25:11Z")
Yes, if her name was cooler than mine, like “Funkmeister” or something ---
**Author:** ![abandaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@abandaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abandaman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/58 "2011-11-25T16:51:00Z")
give boys dads name and girls moms name if they don’t like it encourage them to change the name to the one they like.[after 18] ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/59 "2011-11-25T16:57:10Z")
I don’t think it’s wrong to say “I am for equality, but this” because the “this” is something we’ve been doing for hundreds of years and it’s very rooted in Western culture. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999/60 "2011-11-25T17:08:02Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I don’t think it’s wrong to say “I am for equality, but this” because the “this” is something we’ve been doing for hundreds of years and it’s very rooted in Western culture. Sheesh. Women didn’t have the vote for hundreds of years and that was very rooted in Western culture as well. Equality means equality, not equal only in things that have traditionally been equal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-the-men-would-you-consider-taking-your-wifes-last-name-and-naming-the-kids-after-her/603999.md?page=4)