# Question for you Dangerosa **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990 "2017-02-27T22:49:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/81 "2017-03-01T19:14:59Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Learn to read and write in a script which is not Latin based and we have a deal. Learn to take a joke, and I’ll buy you a beer.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/82 "2017-03-01T19:35:35Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > This is great, and shows how being a good parent can turn someone into a more open-minded person. Right now I have a strong bias against gamers. But I already suspect that bias is going to change if I see video games bringing a lot of joy to my daughter. Thanks. It was a long, log haul. The hardest part was figuring out what I should be upset about and what I could let go. I screwed up a lot by getting way too mad are really trivial things. But mostly, he needed to grow up a bit and want things to get better too. He told me the other day that one day he woke up and just decided he didn’t want to be angry anymore. We had enough of a relationship left intact that we could come together again. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/83 "2017-03-01T20:48:24Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Go the GirrafeBoards. On the issue of her son many have spoken about her favouritism there in the “snipe behind Doper’s backs” threads they have there. > > Do a search on your own name there Dopers, its illuminating. :eek: It sounds like a terrible place. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/84 "2017-03-01T21:05:59Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Go the GirrafeBoards. On the issue of her son many have spoken about her favouritism there in the “snipe behind Doper’s backs” threads they have there. > > Do a search on your own name there Dopers, its illuminating. :eek: I’m on that board, under a different username, but rarely post. I did a search on my Dope username and had the same experience. However, I do have to keep in mind that these people don’t know me IRL (AFAIK) so who cares. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/85 "2017-03-01T21:18:58Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > It sounds like a terrible place. It _is_! They’ve spent almost 83k posts snarking about this place. Whatta bunch of loosers. And they have avatars, a forum for pics, a whole cornucopia of emojis, and they let posters call other posters cu\*t. Better not go there. Stay here @ the pristine place where we express ourselves with words without the need for bling to put a point across. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/86 "2017-03-01T21:21:25Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I do have to keep in mind that these people don’t know me IRL (AFAIK) so who cares. You’d better watch out. They have a sooper-sekrit cabal forum where they share personal details about Dopers. I’m not saying your name has been mentioned, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/87 "2017-03-01T21:29:52Z")
> [@Charlie\_Tan](#): > > Whatta bunch of loosers. Looser than what? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/88 "2017-03-01T21:53:34Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Go the GirrafeBoards. On the issue of her son many have spoken about her favouritism there in the “snipe behind Doper’s backs” threads they have there. > > Do a search on your own name there Dopers, its illuminating. :eek: I don’t think I’ve ever been to the GirrafeBoards. I hope they don’t say anything bad about me. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/89 "2017-03-01T22:03:43Z")
Is the Giraffeboards like, one big alternative BBQ Pit for Dopers? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/90 "2017-03-01T22:10:30Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Is the Giraffeboards like, one big alternative BBQ Pit for Dopers? No. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/91 "2017-03-01T22:13:10Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Looser than what? Hook, line & sinker. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/92 "2017-03-01T23:19:37Z")
> [@Charlie\_Tan](#): > > You’d better watch out. They have a sooper-sekrit cabal forum where they share personal details about Dopers. I’m not saying your name has been mentioned, though. Wow. Sounds like a mashup of Justmommies and 4Chan. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/93 "2017-03-02T00:56:19Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > No. Well the durp snark threads kind of are, aren’t they? Anyway, yeah, feel free to come over. It’s not some sooper-seekrit thing. Many (most?) of us post under the same username, and most of those who don’t are open about who they are. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/94 "2017-03-02T02:23:59Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > What I am saying is that her words come across as almost exclusively supportive of her daughter (even when she gets in trouble) and almost exclusively critical of her son (even when he has successes). Her daughter pings all her maternal pride, but because she does not value her son’s activities, it is hard for her to celebrate them. > > This is personal to me. …which words are you talking about? There has only been a single link to a five page thread so far in this thread and it didn’t look that bad at all. Is that it? If there is a pattern to her posts, then why is no-one bothering to make a case for it? This is seriously one of the most poorly cited pit threads ever. A few actual examples would be nice. There is nothing worse than trawling through a long thread trying to find the “offending posts.” After three pages I gave up. I read the posts that Don’t Ask suggested to read and those posts don’t seem problematic. A few people are just making claims and expecting everyone to understand what they are talking about. But we don’t know the backstory. You say this is “personal” to you. Maybe thats why you suggested this got posted in the pit. This isn’t personal to me. So all I’m seeing is a whole lot of people “tut tutting” someone else on how they are raising their kids. If you guys want to pit Dangerosa: at least put a bit of effort into it. But at the moment all I’m seeing is a whole lot of smug, self-righteous people telling Dangerosa that she isn’t a good parent. I’m sure this is helping you sort out your personal issues: but it makes for a very lame pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/95 "2017-03-02T02:28:59Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > We’re not projecting shame and disappointment; we’re _interpreting_ those things just as you’ve interpreted the things you have. > > If it was just one or two posters expressing these ideas, I could see a case made for unfair bias. Same thing if these posters were known to be wackadoodle types. But you have several sane, reasonable posters all seeing the same pattern. Isn’t this worth paying attention to even if just a little bit? > > I have no doubt that **Dangerosa** loves both of her kids. But love is not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about obvious discrepancies in the respect given to her son compared to her daughter, particularly when she discuss them on this message board. She’s shared enough about how she relates to them and their personalities to paint a revealing picture, and we’re essentially telling her what that picture screams to us. If we’re completely off the mark, she is free to ignore us. > > The themes that jump out in a someone’s posting history can provide insights into their personal struggles. I don’t think **Dangerosa** is aware of her own themes, because if she were aware she wouldn’t have said she doesn’t talk much about her son. She most certainly does talk about him; so much so I could probably point him out in a lineup and I haven’t even see his pic before. If anything comes out of this thread, **Dangerosa** will have realize there might be a disconnect between her perception of reality and the perceptions of others. There aren’t disparate people with separate problems. There are people who saw a Pit thread and are joining in. They already inherently have a problem with **Dangerosa**. The people who don’t know her (or, like me, don’t fucking hold on to shit from the past) are all defending her from the harassment. **Dangerosa** did not bring up anything about her son. Thus **Green Bean** has no fucking reason to be talking about it. You don’t fucking bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you are out to hurt someone. If people had a real problem with how **Dangerosa** treats her kid, they brought it up back then. You don’t bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you’re out to hurt someone. **Dangerosa** has no reason to listen to anyone who is piling on in a thread created in order to stir up shit about something she talked about long ago. She has no reason to believe any of you actually care about her kid or how her kid is treated. Oh, and if you know something you say might not be true, then you don’t fucking harass someone over it. You don’t get to say “they don’t have to listen.” Yeah, they don’t have to listen. You’re still an asshole for doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/96 "2017-03-02T02:36:37Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Well the durp snark threads kind of are, aren’t they? > > Anyway, yeah, feel free to come over. It’s not some sooper-seekrit thing. Many (most?) of us post under the same username, and most of those who don’t are open about who they are. You’re **stringbean** on there, right? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/97 "2017-03-02T02:44:40Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > . > > You say this is “personal” to you. Maybe thats why you suggested this got posted in the pit. This isn’t personal to me. So all I’m seeing is a whole lot of people “tut tutting” someone else on how they are raising their kids. If you guys want to pit Dangerosa: at least put a bit of effort into it. But at the moment all I’m seeing is a whole lot of smug, self-righteous people telling Dangerosa that she isn’t a good parent. I’m sure this is helping you sort out your personal issues: but it makes for a very lame pit thread. I suggested this go to the Pit because the original comment was reported as a personal attack that was out of place in the thread in question. I looked at the thread and agreed that Green Bean’s post was not appropriate for that thread. The place to air specific grievances with posters is the Pit. If you’re suggesting that I wanted a thread here so I could personally give my two cents about this issue, you are simply wrong. In fact, I didn’t really expect anyone to start such a thread. I agree that no one has posted a bunch of supporting links beyond that one thread linked to earlier. That really wasn’t my concern. The intent of my first post in this thread to was to give my opinion as to what the issues was really about since it seemed to have been muddled. When I said it “was personal” was to indicate that other people can have personal experiences that are relevant, in similar way to the post I was replying to. I’m not working through anything. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/98 "2017-03-02T03:19:13Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There aren’t disparate people with separate problems. There are people who saw a Pit thread and are joining in. They already inherently have a problem with **Dangerosa**. The people who don’t know her (or, like me, don’t fucking hold on to shit from the past) are all defending her from the harassment. > > **Dangerosa** did not bring up anything about her son. Thus **Green Bean** has no fucking reason to be talking about it. You don’t fucking bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you are out to hurt someone. > > If people had a real problem with how **Dangerosa** treats her kid, they brought it up back then. You don’t bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you’re out to hurt someone. > > **Dangerosa** has no reason to listen to anyone who is piling on in a thread created in order to stir up shit about something she talked about long ago. She has no reason to believe any of you actually care about her kid or how her kid is treated. > > Oh, and if you know something you say might not be true, then you don’t fucking harass someone over it. You don’t get to say “they don’t have to listen.” Yeah, they don’t have to listen. You’re still an asshole for doing it. Awww, is baby angry? > [@Svejk\_1](#): > > You’re **stringbean** on there, right? ‘Dem’s fightin’ words, son! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/99 "2017-03-02T03:26:56Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There aren’t disparate people with separate problems. There are people who saw a Pit thread and are joining in. They already inherently have a problem with **Dangerosa**. The people who don’t know her (or, like me, don’t fucking hold on to shit from the past) are all defending her from the harassment. > > **Dangerosa** did not bring up anything about her son. Thus **Green Bean** has no fucking reason to be talking about it. You don’t fucking bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you are out to hurt someone. > > If people had a real problem with how **Dangerosa** treats her kid, they brought it up back then. You don’t bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you’re out to hurt someone. > > **Dangerosa** has no reason to listen to anyone who is piling on in a thread created in order to stir up shit about something she talked about long ago. She has no reason to believe any of you actually care about her kid or how her kid is treated. > > Oh, and if you know something you say might not be true, then you don’t fucking harass someone over it. You don’t get to say “they don’t have to listen.” Yeah, they don’t have to listen. You’re still an asshole for doing it. You really are a special kind of idiot. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/100 "2017-03-02T04:12:54Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There aren’t disparate people with separate problems. There are people who saw a Pit thread and are joining in. They already inherently have a problem with **Dangerosa**. The people who don’t know her (or, like me, don’t fucking hold on to shit from the past) are all defending her from the harassment. > > **Dangerosa** did not bring up anything about her son. Thus **Green Bean** has no fucking reason to be talking about it. You don’t fucking bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you are out to hurt someone. > > If people had a real problem with how **Dangerosa** treats her kid, they brought it up back then. You don’t bring up shit from the past out of the blue unless you’re out to hurt someone. > > **Dangerosa** has no reason to listen to anyone who is piling on in a thread created in order to stir up shit about something she talked about long ago. She has no reason to believe any of you actually care about her kid or how her kid is treated. > > Oh, and if you know something you say might not be true, then you don’t fucking harass someone over it. You don’t get to say “they don’t have to listen.” Yeah, they don’t have to listen. You’re still an asshole for doing it. The next time that you can get this irritated and self righteous, I would recommend that you use that energy to get out of your parents house. Until you can do that simple thing you will continue to be mocked as the shadow of a person that you are. Live a bit before you preach. You have no idea about life, parenting or real relationships. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990.md?page=6)