# Question for you Dangerosa **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990 "2017-02-27T22:49:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/121 "2017-03-02T13:01:22Z")
Dingoes. Hyenas are old school. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/122 "2017-03-02T13:18:08Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > **Guin** is very well aware of the BYB forum. She’s mocking people for having a problem with it, just like many other posters in the thread. > > It’s not that bad when they keep to themselves, but, every once in a while, one of them gets bored and wants to stir up shit over here. And, of course, many Dopers eat it up, including mods who can’t see obvious trolling, or the obvious pattern. > > I’ve been on the receiving end, and it sucks. So I try to warn people when it’s happening, and try to stop it. I only got mad because Dopers I thought highly of are falling for it. > > They even basically admitted it this time. But no one cares. That \*\*Dangerosa \*\*is just some shitty person for some shit she said about her kid years ago. Who cares if people attack her, right? Thank you so much for “helping” mommy straighten up! Now why don’t you go watch some cartoons while she finishes up? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/123 "2017-03-02T13:20:44Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I have no idea what BYB stands for. > > I don’t understand why the hyenas are ripping **BigT** ’s throat out. > > I don’t get why those same hyenas are baying for **Dangerosa’s** blood > > Maybe I don’t really ‘get’ the SDMB, even after all these years. Because if this is what the SDMB has been reduced to, then I don’t really WANT to get it. Some disingenuously describe the pit as a safety valve. It’s not. It’s just a place where you don’t need to maintain a facade. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/124 "2017-03-02T13:31:54Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > **Guin** is very well aware of the BYB forum. She’s mocking people for having a problem with it, just like many other posters in the thread. > > It’s not that bad when they keep to themselves, but, every once in a while, one of them gets bored and wants to stir up shit over here. And, of course, many Dopers eat it up, including mods who can’t see obvious trolling, or the obvious pattern. > > I’ve been on the receiving end, and it sucks. So I try to warn people when it’s happening, and try to stop it. I only got mad because Dopers I thought highly of are falling for it. > > They even basically admitted it this time. But no one cares. That \*\*Dangerosa \*\*is just some shitty person for some shit she said about her kid years ago. Who cares if people attack her, right? Oh, you’re a warning to other posters, no doubt. But not in the way you think you’re warning them. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/125 "2017-03-02T13:51:09Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Some disingenuously describe the pit as a safety valve. It’s not. It’s just a place where you don’t need to maintain a facade. 'round these parts, we spells it façade. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/126 "2017-03-02T13:55:09Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There aren’t disparate people with separate problems. There are people who saw a Pit thread and are joining in. They already inherently have a problem with **Dangerosa**. The people who don’t know her (or, like me, don’t fucking hold on to shit from the past) are all defending her from the harassment. I’ve got news for you, dude. **Dangerosa** is a grown woman who is fully capable deciding for herself if she wants to A) defend herself in this thread B) ignore this thread completely, or C) take it to PM herself. She doesn’t need you to speak for her; given her feminist leanings I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s actually annoyed that a man _(who has nothing to do with any of this)_ presuming to speak for her. I would be. Not everyone who posts stuff you don’t like is trolling. Heck, I’d guess that the vast majority aren’t; I can’t tell if it’s because youw widdle fee-fees are so easily hurt by stuff that has _nothing to do with you_, or if you’re so addicted to the high you get from playing White Knight that you can’t resist shoving your nose into _other people’s business._ You pull this fucking net-nanny act every time someone here posts something you don’t like, as if your finger-wagging is going to change anyone’s posting style just because you said so. Other posters are free to post what they want, as long as it doesn’t break any forum rules. The mods, NOT YOU, are the ones who get to determine if those rules have been broken and what if any action should be taken. The mods. Not you. You’re not a mod. Your opinion carries no more weight than anyone else’s around here. In a nutshell, shut up, **BigTard.** (and before you bring up Giraffeboards as if it’s some kind of board-winning insult, yes, I did post there for a long time, almost exclusively in the snark threads) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/127 "2017-03-02T14:26:41Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I don’t get why those same hyenas are baying for **Dangerosa’s** blood Well, this is the Dope and although we aren’t in GQ, I’ll go ahead and ask for a cite that hyenas can bay. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/128 "2017-03-02T14:29:51Z")
Maybe they are Australian hyenas? For the continent that gave us the Black Swan and the duck-billed platypus that would be a small thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/129 "2017-03-02T14:47:51Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Go the GirrafeBoards. On the issue of her son many have spoken about her favouritism there in the “snipe behind Doper’s backs” threads they have there. > > Do a search on your own name there Dopers, its illuminating. :eek: Hey, congrats on your “dumbest Durper” nomination! It’s a late entry, and you’re something of a dark horse candidate, but I wouldn’t discount your chances entirely. Hope to see you at the awards show! ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/130 "2017-03-02T15:04:39Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Hey, congrats on your “dumbest Durper” nomination! It’s a late entry, and you’re something of a dark horse candidate, but I wouldn’t discount your chances entirely. Hope to see you at the awards show! Thanks mate., am touched. But, I have zero chance of winning. In the category of dumbest Durper _you_ are like Meryl Streep, unbeatable and unmatchable. Once in a generation. So many memorable performances that I cannot list them all. Congrats in advance! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/131 "2017-03-02T15:50:52Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Go the GirrafeBoards. On the issue of her son many have spoken about her favouritism there in the “snipe behind Doper’s backs” threads they have there. > > Do a search on your own name there Dopers, its illuminating. :eek: Huh. Took your advice, did a vanity search over there, found a lot of people there have mean things to say about me. That was dull. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/132 "2017-03-02T16:32:10Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > See what I mean? These are the evil shits you are defending. They harass me because I once revealed that I was agoraphobic. Just like **Dangerosa** is being attacked for revealing her parenting. > > It has absolutely nothing to do with what I said. It’s just harassment. > > And, BTW, thanks for taking the bait. I knew you BYBers were here. Quit trying to start something between the two boards. A lot is use both boards, under the same screen name. Your attempts here to start whatever you’re trying to start are aggravating. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/133 "2017-03-02T16:38:17Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > They harass me because I once revealed that I was agoraphobic. I, too, am angoraphobic. Just thinking about long-haired rabbits or goats makes me squirm. I thought I was the only one. Mohair especially bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/134 "2017-03-02T16:58:48Z")
I’m opinionated enough to sound off on how parents in general should, or should not, treat their chlldren. I think I am less likely to opine on how one individual parent is making an utter clusterfuck of the job, although I will admit I’ve done that too. I once rented a room from a single mom who was so caustically verbally abusive to her 11-12 y.o. daughter that I finally suggested to the girl that she speak to counselors or even contact protective services. That was chickenshit on so many levels (I should have tried to speak with each of them more as a person if I cared enough to become involved; or I should have stood up to the mom at the time she was doing it instead of passing such info to her daughter when she wasn’t present) and I’m still not sure how I feel about what I did, whether it was asshole behavior on my part or some awkward and klutzy act of courage or at least lack of apathy on my part. I don’t know **Dangerosa** and certainly don’t know her children. I did once know a (different) single mom who fit **Sarafeena’s** description. The woman in question had two middle-school-aged boys roughly a year apart, and a girl of about 7; she treated the boys as annoying & irritating discipline problems (even when they weren’t doing anything) while beaming and taking great delight in her daughter. It was a massively different standard of treatment and behavior, so overwhelmingly blatant that it could not be missed by anyone who had seen the four of them together on a couple of occasions. I felt bad for the daughter as well as for the sons —that’s a horribly distorting way to grow up. I would imagine that the mom had some kind of unreconciled issues from her own past; in her case it seemed to be about gender, but then I tend to see gender issues everywhere (when you’re holding a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail and all that); whether it was about gender to the mom or not, it was certainly likely to be experienced as a gender thing by the kids, how could it not be? The boys were being snapped at and disciplined so often when not _doing_ anything wrong that the message might as well have been embroidered into a sampler and hung on her wall: You are bad because you are a boy! If — hypothetically speaking — **Dangerosa’s** home is like that, as alleged, I am not sure that this thread is particularly likely to ameliorate that in any fashion. It looks to me more like it exists in order to say “ **Dangerosa** , you suck, you’re an utter bitch”. Admittedly, I’m not sure how one could engage **Dangerosa** productively and have a soul-revealing sit-down talk with her that might have a desirable effect on her (still hypothetical) behavior. I can’t point to my behavior with the woman who rented me the room as a better example. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/135 "2017-03-02T17:26:19Z")
I really dont see this thread as an attempt to tell anyone they suck (though it looks a bit like it might veer into that direction re BigT) - rather I see some people pointing out that she can come across as Daughter can do no wrong, and Son can do no right. PS I am mildly agoraphobic too - but I fight against it (sometimes, often I stay indoors and work from home) but there are things that I care about, and I go out and do those things. I am in a hotel room right now. I am researching for work, and waiting to go conventioneering. The process will almost certainly exhaust me, but it’s worth it. Same with going down to see my stepkids in another state. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/136 "2017-03-02T17:31:25Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I, too, am angoraphobic. Just thinking about long-haired rabbits or goats makes me squirm. I thought I was the only one. Mohair especially bothers me. Hey, **kayaker**! [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1566759280/moe.jpg) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1566759280/moe.jpg) Feeling triggered? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/137 "2017-03-02T17:31:55Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’ve been on the receiving end, and it sucks. So I try to warn people when it’s happening, and try to stop it. I only got mad because Dopers I thought highly of are falling for it. Great job. Very informative, entertaining as hell. Just wanted to say that before it’s locked up here. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/138 "2017-03-02T17:41:30Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > **Guin** is very well aware of the BYB forum. She’s mocking people for having a problem with it, just like many other posters in the thread. > > It’s not that bad when they keep to themselves, but, every once in a while, one of them gets bored and wants to stir up shit over here. And, of course, many Dopers eat it up, including mods who can’t see obvious trolling, or the obvious pattern. > > I’ve been on the receiving end, and it sucks. So I try to warn people when it’s happening, and try to stop it. I only got mad because Dopers I thought highly of are falling for it. > > They even basically admitted it this time. But no one cares. That \*\*Dangerosa \*\*is just some shitty person for some shit she said about her kid years ago. Who cares if people attack her, right? Whoa, whoa, WHOOOOAAAA, back it up there, sparky. You’re pretty much admitting you want to start a board war. You have such a hard one for the Giraffe boards, but if you have a problem, grow some balls and TAKE IT OVER THERE, rather than stay here in your little safe space and whine. Otherwise, FUCK OFF, you odious little cockroach. I have never denied that I post at Giraffe. It’s not some sooper-sekrit bunker where the members plan attacks on people they don’t like. Most people who post at one post at the other, so naturally people felt there was a need for a place to talk about the SDMB. The rest of the place is just another message board like any other. Quit shitting up this thread with your little Straight Dope Nanny act. Nobody appreciates it, and it’s just your chance to get off on playing the martyr. Go fuck a chainsaw, you parasitic jackass. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/139 "2017-03-02T17:46:56Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I did once know a (different) single mom who fit **Sarafeena’s** description. The woman in question had two middle-school-aged boys roughly a year apart, and a girl of about 7; she treated the boys as annoying & irritating discipline problems (even when they weren’t doing anything) while beaming and taking great delight in her daughter. It was a massively different standard of treatment and behavior, so overwhelmingly blatant that it could not be missed by anyone who had seen the four of them together on a couple of occasions. I felt bad for the daughter as well as for the sons —that’s a horribly distorting way to grow up. I would imagine that the mom had some kind of unreconciled issues from her own past; in her case it seemed to be about gender, but then I tend to see gender issues everywhere (when you’re holding a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail and all that); whether it was about gender to the mom or not, it was certainly likely to be experienced as a gender thing by the kids, how could it not be? The boys were being snapped at and disciplined so often when not _doing_ anything wrong that the message might as well have been embroidered into a sampler and hung on her wall: You are bad because you are a boy! I think such mothers often grew up in a household of one of two extremes. 1. A household where “boys = good”, “girls = not worth much” or 1. The opposite; a household where boys are just viewed as ADHD immature troublemakers whereas girls are prim, noble, pure, virtuous and everything proper. In the former case, where boys = good, but girls aren’t worth much, the mother may compensate for that buried resentment by taking it out on her sons when she herself grows up. And sadly, chances are, her sons will take out their resentment over their mistreatment by their mother, by taking it out, eventually, some day, on other women. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990/140 "2017-03-02T17:49:03Z")
The kind of mother that **AHunter3** mentions is also a recipe for raising future MRAs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-for-you-dangerosa/780990.md?page=8)