# Question of a Sexual Nature **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743 "2005-10-18T14:06:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/21 "2005-10-19T16:52:37Z")
I had to Google “tub girl.” I wish now that I hadn’t. I will NOT Google “goatse.” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/22 "2005-10-19T17:08:11Z")
I’m not embarrassed to ask, but I already know what the (vehement) answer would be. So that’s that. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/23 "2005-10-20T01:20:01Z")
> [@Tibbycat](#): > > The real reason for my OP was to find someone with enough moxie enough to ask my wife if she would, perhaps, be interested in joining her husband in a tiny, innocuous…ah, how should I say…intimate whim of his. Ask her to meet me in the sleeping chambers wearing a floral scent and soft bedclothes. The lighting will be soft and muted; rose petals will adorn the bedspread. I will take her hands into mine, and as our bodies draw closer, from out of the armoire will pop a toilet-auger yielding zaftig midget with a big nose… > > :dubious: Naw, just joshing y’all. Peccadilloes of such a nature, I have none. No, really… > > Mr. Tibbs As InternetLegend mentioned…Dan Savage. Look up Dan Savage and GGG. Print out the relevent columns. Leave then _discreetly_ around the house…on her pillow, in the refrigerator, stapled to the steering wheel of her car. \*Then \* ask her. (BTW what’s a toilet auger, you pervert?) ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/24 "2005-10-20T01:51:20Z")
Sex???..With my _Spouse_??? …shudders… ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/25 "2005-10-20T03:43:46Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I had to Google “tub girl.” I wish now that I hadn’t. I will NOT Google “goatse.” Thanks a lot. _I_ didn’t know what “goatse” was. I asked my wife, who just sort of waved her hands and shuddered. So I responded that I needed to look since she wasn’t being helpful. She left the room first. Smart woman, she is. Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll try to respond to the OP. My wife and I were best friends before we got married, so I can’t really imagine us not being willing to share any odd desires. We’re honest with each other; if there was an idea that one wanted to try and the other wasn’t interested, there would be no pushing, and there would be no shame. We are who we are, and we married each other as such. All reasonable suggestions will be entertained, although not necessarily complied with. And I will say I’ve consented to (and enjoyed) doing things with her that I would never have considered before marrying her. This is the stuff that soul mates are made of. ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/26 "2005-10-20T04:23:06Z")
I’ve got a proclivity for craziness in general; I would expect any spouse of mine to be fully cognizant of this. There’d be no reason for embarassment. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/27 "2005-10-20T19:27:57Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > There is, however, one little fantasy that throws us for a loop every time. It’s my fantasy, and he just can’t buy into it. Not because it’s gross or anything. It’s just something he _can’t_ do. When I bring it up, the vague feeling that he thinks I’m some sort of weirdo does kind of kill the mood. It will never change how we feel about one another, so I just sigh and keep that particular fantasy in my head. You tease. Tell us. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/28 "2005-10-20T21:13:57Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You tease. Tell us. _sigh_ Well, I guess I could, but promise you won’t think less of me? 😉 We dabble in light BDSM, and I occasionally want him to take it further, almost to the edge of actual violence. He won’t do it, though, because he doesn’t like to hurt me. It gets almost comical when I try to explain that I want him to hurt me. I can respect that he just can’t bring himself to do that, though. Just as he respects the fact that I will most likely never lay the entire Brazillian women’s soccer team while he films it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mojave66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/29 "2005-10-20T22:58:50Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > We dabble in light BDSM, and I occasionally want him to take it further, almost to the edge of actual violence. He won’t do it, though, because he doesn’t like to hurt me. (TMI warning) I like getting bit, but the first time my partner did it (some 13 years ago) the bruises freaked her out so badly that she refused to do it again. In fact, when she saw them she burst into tears. We can laugh now… > [@](#): > > Just as he respects the fact that I will most likely never lay the entire Brazillian women’s soccer team while he films it. 😃 \ I’m lucky in that I think I can talk to my partner about anything sexual, she’s very much the Scorpio. Oddly, she’ll indulge me in one of my more, ah, interesting requests (no I’m not tellin’) but there’s one act of relative vanilla-ness that she adamantly will NOT go for. It’s quite interesting. I think hey, if you and your partner are pretty good at communicating and have a mutually fun sex life, why not ask about it? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/30 "2005-10-21T14:09:06Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > _sigh_ Well, I guess I could, but promise you won’t think less of me? 😉 > > Just as he respects the fact that I will most likely never lay the entire Brazillian women’s soccer team while he films it. 😃 What about just the wings? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/31 "2005-10-21T15:20:49Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > But then we went into the relationship with the understanding that everything other than shit, children and pets is open to consideration. That leaves necrophilia wide open! Woooooooohooooooooo!!! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/32 "2005-10-21T15:23:35Z")
(as long as it’s not a dead child or animal, that is.) ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/33 "2005-10-21T16:01:22Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > What about just the wings? No, no, she’s confused. I had mentioned that I’d like to be _double-teamed_ by her and a chick _with_ a Brazilian, with special attention paid to my _big balls_. And yes, the filming would be nice too. The thought of my older self, sitting in his wheelchair, watching this episode in my life makes me tear up. _sniff_ Anyway, like I said, we are both edging closer and closer to realizing our fantasies…our biggest stumbling blocks are still our own insecurities, and our children. Seriously, during periods when our kids are away for a couple of days, our house turns into a sexual playhouse. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/34 "2005-10-21T16:09:06Z")
I’m not married, but I’d like to think that my boyfriend and I could at least talk about any desires/fantasies that we have. The other one might say no, but I can’t see why we’d be afraid to talk about it. We’ve already, um… “experimented” quite a bit and I certainly have no hesitation in asking to try things. I think he feels the same. It’s important, to me at least, to be open in a relationship. It shouldn’t matter whether we’re talking about “relationship issues” or sex; I need to feel comfortable being able to talk to a SO about anything. If I can’t, then we’re not a good match. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/35 "2005-10-23T16:05:17Z")
> [@tibbycat](#): > > The real reason for my OP was to find someone with enough moxie enough to ask my wife if she would, perhaps, be interested in joining her husband in a tiny, innocuous…ah, how should I say…intimate whim of his. Ask her to meet me in the sleeping chambers wearing a floral scent and soft bedclothes. The lighting will be soft and muted; rose petals will adorn the bedspread. I will take her hands into mine, and as our bodies draw closer, from out of the armoire will pop a toilet-auger yielding zaftig midget with a big nose… > > Naw, just joshing y’all. Peccadilloes of such a nature, I have none. No, really… > > Mr. Tibbs > [@betenoir](#): > > (BTW what’s a toilet auger, you pervert?) :smack: Golly, did that come out “toilet auger”? I meant to say “bouquet of flowers for my wife” (danged sticky keyboard keeps misprinting what I type…) Mr.Tibbs ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/36 "2005-10-23T18:03:27Z")
Unlucky me, I’ve never dated anyone who was into leather. I don’t know that I would be, but it seems like the next progression in my Gay Career. And considering that bodily wastes are out of the question, and roleplaying seems kinda silly, I’m running out of avenues. ---
**Author:** ![Habanero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d9b06d/32.png) [@Habanero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habanero)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/37 "2005-10-24T01:34:16Z")
Well, I’m pretty happy with the way things are going. There are just some things he’s always wanting that I’m not up for giving. Actually, it’s one thing in particular. Good leverage 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/38 "2005-10-24T08:24:20Z")
I’m not uncomfortable about asking, but then again I’m not into anything particularly weird. There are some sexual things I will never be able to do with my girlfriend, even if we both wanted to do them. Fisting, for example. She’s pretty small compared to me, and kind of small down there too. Fisting her would be like giving birth backwards. I mean, my thighs are the size of her torso. Luckily, that’s not one of my kinks. On the other hand, I like anal, and the size difference there is enough for her to tell me “no fucking way,” even though I’m sure it would fit. I’m not _that_ big that way. \ At least I got to corrupt her in other ways. You might be pleasantly surprised if you explore your partner’s kinks. She was uncomfortable about asking me about blindfolds until I brought up some light bondage stuff that I thought would be fun to try. I’m sure glad I tried tying her up or I’d never know about the blindfolds. She _really_ gets turned on by being blindfolded. **Betenoir’s** bedroom rules are pretty close to mine, actually. I’ve got four personal rules for what I’m not willing to have involved in my sex life: 1. No animals 2. No children 3. No filth 4. No dead things Anything else is open to negotiation. What’s my definition of a child? Regardless of local law, secondary sexual characteristics **must** be present and the individual must express an _unprompted_ desire to participate, or they are too damn young. Yes, my rules for young partners are more stringent than for those I consider unquestioned adults. The youngest I’ve ever had sex with was 16 when I was 19, technically a legal problem in my state at the time, but I doubt it would be a moral problem for most people, especially since we’d known each other and had a relationship for a couple of years before it happened. Most people don’t even start to get interesting looking to me until they’re around 17 or so. Even if there were no social and legal issues whatsoever, I probably wouldn’t even look twice at someone younger than that. In recent years, my youngest has been 20. I don’t have anything in common with anyone younger than that anymore. Hell, even 20-somethings are starting to be hard to relate to at the ripe old age of 30. What’s my definition of filth? Blood, garbage, shit, basically anything I’d be unwilling to eat or drink. I originally said “Anything _you’d_ be unwilling to eat or drink,” but a smartassed friend pointed out that appetites vary. I didn’t ask about his willingness to engage in coprophagia; I really didn’t want to find out. I was in a conversation at a party where people were talking about odd turn-ons. One guy told us about two sisters, one of whom he had dated. They were still friends and were out drinking together with a group and much the same situation came up. His ex wanted to get nailed in the butt, her sister wanted to get peed on. Each thought the other’s kink was nasty. Hopefully that won’t happen in any Doper relationships. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/39 "2005-10-24T09:19:24Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > That leaves necrophilia wide open! Woooooooohooooooooo!!! The disturbing thing is you seem to be excited about the possiblity. Which means you’re…what? A horny corpse? 🙂 (And for the record, dead people should have been on that list too. Even those over the age of consent. Also incest. Although he does make jokes about how hot he thinks my mom is. There, I think I’ve covered everything. I hope.) ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743/40 "2005-10-24T09:22:46Z")
> [@Tibbycat](#): > > :smack: Golly, did that come out “toilet auger”? I meant to say “bouquet of flowers for my wife” (danged sticky keyboard keeps misprinting what I type…) > > Mr.Tibbs Since you wouldn’t tell me, I had to look up toilet auger. And frankly, it looks like it had possibilities. But if you meant flowers for your wife…well if she’s recieving flowers from a a zaftig midget that’s still pretty weird. So you’re still a pervert. Congrats 🙂 . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-of-a-sexual-nature/326743.md?page=3)