# Question on dealing with a kid who's not my own **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 20, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895 "2010-08-20T19:00:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/41 "2010-08-23T15:33:33Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > > [@Dogzilla](#): > > > > I just wanted to know why he couldn’t just back into the driveway when he parked so the sticker couldn’t be seen from the street? Wouldn’t that have been an acceptable compromise? > > From the OP: “We have an 8 y.o. and really don’t want him exposed to such.” > > > [@](#): > > > > Problems do have solutions. Why did it have to be: get rid of it or we get rid of you? > > Because the kid rejected the other less drastic solution. Ah. Got it. On both counts. ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/42 "2010-08-23T19:13:21Z")
**Gary T** nailed it. **Really Not All That Bright** nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/43 "2010-08-23T19:23:05Z")
**Rafe** , for what it’s worth, I’m glad to see your family trying to be an example to him of how decent people are supposed to live, because his mom is teaching him how to be a piece of crap. ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/44 "2010-08-23T20:14:54Z")
Thank you, **Cat Whisperer**. Strange thing is; his mom told us the same thing. She said she knows she’s been a bad example and was appreciative that he had a strong male role model in the home because he has never had that. I just hate that he will most likely fall well short of his potential. We did what we could and he chose not to accept the help. I walk away from this experience with a clean conscience. ---
**Author:** ![Jelly\_Roll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Jelly\_Roll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelly_Roll)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/45 "2010-08-23T22:00:32Z")
You definitely did the right thing. He has to learn respect, which is what this boils down to, for me. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t necessarily want to because the Powers That Be told you to. I’d much rather roll into work around 10:30 in jeans and t-shirt. But my boss says I have to be here at 8:00 in business attire. So that’s what I do. We all have to learn that lesson at some point. The upside is he can always decide to take the GED and/or enlist later once he figures out that life is hard when you’re 17 and have no education and no parents to support you. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/46 "2010-08-24T03:10:38Z")
It will be interesting to see what happens once he enlists. I know that our Chief would come down on a Pte with a sticker like that on his vehicle on base. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/47 "2010-08-24T03:17:14Z")
You get to have your own vehicle on base? ETA: Seriously, I don’t know; that’s why I’m asking. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/48 "2010-08-24T03:36:43Z")
The fact that you’re waffling even though he has cranked it up at this level of pure, unadulterated douchetastic entitlement makes me pretty sure you’re not going to do anything, but will continue to try and negotiate with this dip shit about a huge, obnoxious sticker he insists on plastering on his vehicle while living with you and eating out of your refrigerator. That he is still on your premises stuns me. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/49 "2010-08-24T03:44:08Z")
Going by post 27, it looks like he’s no longer on **Rafe** ’s premises. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/50 "2010-08-24T05:48:09Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > You get to have your own vehicle on base? ETA: Seriously, I don’t know; that’s why I’m asking. I don’t know about basic training, there are a lot of things that new recruits aren’t allowed to have in basic training. However, when my husband and I lived on base, yes, we were allowed to have our cars on base. There were some people, however, who were not allowed to have their vehicles on base, or weren’t allowed to drive on base, I’m not sure which. They had to park their vehicles off base and walk into base, to catch the busses or walk or otherwise get a ride. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895/51 "2010-08-24T06:31:20Z")
> [@Rafe\_Hollister](#): > > Thank you, **Cat Whisperer**. Strange thing is; his mom told us the same thing. She said she knows she’s been a bad example and was appreciative that he had a strong male role model in the home because he has never had that. Knows that she is a bad example, yet not fixing it. She does sound lovely. I can only guess that nothing is ever her fault. > [@](#): > > I just hate that he will most likely fall well short of his potential. We did what we could and he chose not to accept the help. I walk away from this experience with a clean conscience. You never know; he might come around some day and start appreciating what you tried to do for him. Watching someone else fail is one of the hardest things you have to do as an adult, though - you just can’t help people who won’t help themselves. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-on-dealing-with-a-kid-whos-not-my-own/550895.md?page=2)