# Questionable or Incorrect Parental Advice Your Parents Gave You Growing Up (Poll)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 18, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455 "2003-07-18T19:24:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/1 "2003-07-18T19:24:45Z")
A prompt by [Orange Skinner’s _Rather Strange Poll About Sleeping and Feet_](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=198249) got me thinking about some of the advice I’ve received from my parents over the years. While reading that thread, my Mom’s advice: “_Never, ever wear underwear or socks to bed - your body needs to breathe_” started to literally ring in my ears.
A search the boards over the past year yielded:
_What the fuck are you people teaching your stupid kids?_ By pkbites (in the Pit)
and
_Just how much influence should parents have on their grown children?_ By JustPlainBryan (in GD).
Oddly enough (unless I used the wrong keywords), nothing about those little nuggets of _wisdom_ your parents still hold.
Truth be told, I don’t know if Mom’s advice about allowing your body to “breathe” at night is correct - I guess I’ll ask the next dermatologist, podiatrist & urologist I run into. I do know I’ve never owned a pair of pajamas in my life and even in the dead of winter the only thing you’ll find me wearing to bed is a smile (and occasionally a few remnants of emotion lotion).
Through my childhood, teens and adult life, both my Mom & Dad have given their advice on a whole host of topics _(religious & political I’ll avoid here)_ that I’ve come to find doesn’t hold much water. (Notice how polite I am in refraining from using the term bullshit).
Here are the first few family tenets that come to mind:
[ol][li] **From Mom** : “_You can never be too rich or too thin_”[/li]Sorry Ma, throughout most of my 20’s and 30’s too many people have said I look too wiry or unhealthy. Though I don’t ever see myself attaining the volume of wealth to be considered too rich, I’ve heard more than enough summertime comment that proves you can be too thin.
[li] **From Dad** : “_A stiff prick has no conscience_”[/li]Yes, I realize you often used this ditty to warn me of the perils of bedding down anyone (especially the neighbor down the block) just for the sake of carnal pleasure, but I’ve always hated it.
[li] **From Mom** : “_Before you marry a girl, check out her Mother - That’s the way she’s going to look / age in 20 or so years_”[/li]This one used to scare the crap out of me. In fact, it probably had a subconscious affect on who I chose to date. In hindsight, it probably saved a couple of them from a future of grief and aggravation.
[li] **From Mom** : “_Well behaved children become treacherous teenagers, young children that are a handful won’t give you grief in their teenage years._”[/li]My 2 are still to young to debunk this one, but if this rule has any truth to it, number one will be a breeze & number two is gonna be giving me my comeuppance.
[li] **From Mom** : “_If you have a son, don’t name him Michael. Most boys named Michael are hellraisers._”[/li]I think we’ll just let that one hang there by itself.
[li] **From Mom** : “_Whenever there’s a space launch, all it does is rain the whole time they’re up there. It must caused by a disturbance in the atmosphere._”[/li]Ma, we live in NY, they launch satellites & the shuttle from Florida. Even if your theory had any basis in truth, Oh never mind…Do I look like Al Roker to you?
[li] **From Dad** : “_If you roll around in shit, you’re gonna come out smelling like it_”[/li]My dogs have proven there’s a ring of truth to this advice in the literal sense. But I’ve come to discover you can learn just about anything from anyone. I’ve learned as much from gambling-addicts at the OTB as I have from some professors. Maybe that’s why I usually have a better time having a drink with the dregs of society at a neighborhood bucket-of-blood than I do in a VIP room at a posh club.
[li] **From Mom** : “_It’s alot cheaper running the dishwasher at night_”[/li]I’ve gone so far as to have her study her electric & water bills to dispel this one. Unlike the phone company, there’s no such thing as off-peak discounts on her utility bills but she insists she’s right. She may be helping to prevent brownouts in the community, but she sure as hell ain’t saving any $.[/ol]
So there you have it. A few of the many tidbits I was raised with. Tenets handed down to me from my vain, strange, opinionated and occasionally stubborn parents (whom I love dearly).
So tell us fellow dopers, do any of you have any parental advice you’d wish to share…or debunk.
---
### Author:  [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/2 "2003-07-18T19:36:35Z")
I’ll buy a beer to the first person who mentions:
[spoiler]1. You can’t go swimming until 1/2 hour after you’ve eaten
or
1. If the sky is pink at night, it’s gonna rain the next day[/spoiler]
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### Author:  [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/3 "2003-07-18T19:44:15Z")
I had a gay male friend so my Dad used to say : Don’t go over there, you will catch AIDS. {Hmmm, don’ think HE was going to give it to me dad!}
And from my Mom: Don’t hang around at those Cuban dance halls, those people are dirty. {Interestingly enough, my mother is half Cuban. }
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/4 "2003-07-18T19:57:55Z")
In 1969, before I went to college, my Dad told me that I should take some business classes as a backup for my major.
My major was computer science. 🙂
I ignored this, and haven’t had a problem making a living yet. Besides that, they did pretty well.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/5 "2003-07-18T20:45:36Z")
only 2 come to mind…
> [@](#):
>
> _“Don’t buy gold, you don’t know what you’re doing”_
This was in 1979. I was in high school, and a small-time coin collector. I read in my collecting magazine that gold was due to increase in price and I wanted to take my inheiritence (about $3500) that my grandpa left me and buy low and sell high. It seemed so simple. Gold began that year at about $240.00/oz and peaked at around $675.00/oz . Some daily prices were as high as $800.00/oz. I would have **tripled** my money. Wrong, mom.
number 2…
> [@](#):
>
> _"Don’t invest in the stock market, you don’t know what you’re doing…_
This was in 1976 or so. I was a bit younger, and the sting of my gold fiasco had yet to happen. I read in Starlog magazine about a cool-looking movie called “Star Wars” and I thought it would be smart to take some money I had saved up and buy some stock in 20th Century Fox. What did I know? Turned out the movie was a big hit that no one expected. I can’t find a cite but I seem to remember that the stock prices went up alot.
wrong again, mom… but I love ya’!
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### Author:  [@sylphishone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylphishone)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/6 "2003-07-18T20:57:42Z")
Don’t have sex before you get married.
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### Author:  [@sylphishone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylphishone)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/7 "2003-07-18T21:11:09Z")
Don’t have sex before you get married.
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/8 "2003-07-18T21:32:19Z")
“Oh, no, don’t put it in the market” happened to me, too.
The year was 1998 and I’d just gotten a little bit of money. I wanted to put a healthy chunk of it in some stocks that had good grown potential. Amazon, Yahoo, Microsoft, and Starbucks.
I probably would’ve owned my own island by now.
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### Author:  [@Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violin_D_Ingrate)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/9 "2003-07-18T22:28:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by JohnBckWLD \*
> \*\*
> [li] **From Mom** : “It’s alot cheaper running the dishwasher at night”[/li]I’ve gone so far as to have her study her electric & water bills to dispel this one. Unlike the phone company, there’s no such thing as off-peak discounts on her utility bills but she insists she’s right. She may be helping to prevent brownouts in the community, but she sure as hell ain’t saving any $._\*
At least where I live, there are discounts for using electricity between 9 P.M. and 9 A.M… but you have to sign up for that plan. Maybe your mom doesn’t realize she’s not signed up for a special rate, and she’s just heard neighbors, friends, etc talk about their off-peak rates and assumed it applied to everyone.
Back on topic, my parents were obsessed with Stranger Danger and consequently made me terrified of any adult I didn’t know. While this may have prevented me from hopping into a car with any strange man who offered me a puppy, it warped my view of how normal adults interact with children.
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### Author:  [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/10 "2003-07-18T22:53:05Z")
What, no one’s come up with the “don’t cross you’re eyes/make that face, it’ll freeze like that!”? Or “don’t go out with a wet head/without a hat, you’ll catch a cold!” Or “always wait an hour before swimming!”
Apparently blindness was a big thing for my mom… never, ever sit too close to the TV, or watch TV with the lights off, or not have good light while reading, 'cause you’ll go blind. I kept wanting to point out that I’m pretty much legally blind anyway, and have been since birth, but that wouldn’t go over too well. Silly woman.
Hmmm… I’ll have to think on this some more.
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### Author:  [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/11 "2003-07-18T22:54:16Z")
_Rubbing salt firmly into a mosquito bite makes it stop itching._
Well, only in that the mosquito bite turned into a bloody, raw, open wound (with salt in it)! Oh sure, after mom rubbed salt into a few of our mosquito bites, you bet we stopped complaining about the itching. No way were we going to undergo that salt torture again!
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### Author:  [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/12 "2003-07-18T22:56:05Z")
I forgot another gem:
- Swallowing fruit seeds will cause them to germinate in your stomach and grow!\*
I can’t tell you how many nights I spend awake worrying that a watermelon plant could be growing in my stomach!
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### Author:  [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/13 "2003-07-18T22:57:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by JohnBckWLD \*
> **[li]From Mom: “Before you marry a girl, check out her Mother - That’s the way she’s going to look / age in 20 or so years”**[/li]This one used to scare the crap out of me._\* In fact, it probably had a subconscious affect on who I chose to date. In hindsight, it probably saved a couple of them from a future of grief and aggravation.
> \*\*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! whether true or not, I guess it worked.
[li] **From Mom** : “_Well behaved children become treacherous teenagers, young children that are a handful won’t give you grief in their teenage years._”[/li]My 2 are still to young to debunk this one, but if this rule has any truth to it, number one will be a breeze & number two is gonna be giving me my comeuppance.\*\*
[/QUOTE]
I have a teenager who was the sweetest most adorable little child. now She’s driving me NUTS!!! My boy was a cryer. You couldnt tell that kid to do anything. He would always weasel out of it or have someone do it for him. He’ll be a teenager next year. we’ll see…
and **JohnBckWLD** The first of your booby prize quote is the one I use on my kids.
on a full stomach (after a big meal) the blood rushes into the torso and around the stomach to help warm up and aid digestion. Any variation of skin temperature, like going into cold water, causes the blood to be redistributed back to the extremities and skin to wam it up, leaving the stomach kinda high and dry. This and pressures of the water , may cause an upset stomach or even vomiting. …at least thats what I tell my kids. I wanna rest for abit after eating before having to play lifeguard.
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### Author:  [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/14 "2003-07-18T23:00:03Z")
My mom’s pearls of wisdom about sex?
“It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Thanks. I’m sure dad loved you giving out that little tidbit (no pun), too.
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### Author:  [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/15 "2003-07-18T23:01:22Z")
OH OH I got one!
Mom Cracking your knuckles will make them grow bigger.
_yeah, right mom…_
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### Author:  [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/16 "2003-07-18T23:09:01Z")
My dad believed (still believes, actually) all manner of urban legends. Only last week did I find out that Mama Cass didn’t really choke on a ham sandwich. ☹
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### Author:  [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/17 "2003-07-18T23:41:32Z")
She didn’t? How did she die, then?
Here’s my submission: “If you’re ever lost in the desert, just look for the Golden Arches.”
OK, Dad was being a little sarcastic there. I can’t actually think of any bad advice they’ve given me. My parents are pretty neat.
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### Author:  [@sylphishone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylphishone)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/18 "2003-07-18T23:42:52Z")
Mama Cass didn’t choke on a ham sandwich!!!
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### Author:  [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/19 "2003-07-19T00:03:34Z")
“Don’t masturbate, you’ll get prostate cancer!”
😃
Jon
Somebody had to say it…
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### Author:  [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/20 "2003-07-19T00:11:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by genie \*
> \*\*She didn’t? How did she die, then?
>
> \*\*
According to [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mamacass.htm) , she died of a heart attack.
I’ve heard it theorized that her heart was weakened in part by trying to fix her weight problem with unsafe dieting.
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