# Questionable or Incorrect Parental Advice Your Parents Gave You Growing Up (Poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455 "2003-07-18T19:24:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbe5ce/32.png) [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/21 "2003-07-19T00:22:41Z")
Daaang. I thought she had a heart attack _while_ eating a sandwich. Thats what started the rumor she choked on one. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/22 "2003-07-19T12:55:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > What, no one’s come up with the…“always wait an hour before swimming!” and > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE) \* > The first of your booby prize quote is the one I use on my kids. On a full stomach (after a big meal) the blood rushes into the torso and around the stomach to help warm up and aid digestion. Any variation of skin temperature, like going into cold water, causes the blood to be redistributed back to the extremities and skin to wam it up, leaving the stomach kinda high and dry. This and pressures of the water , may cause an upset stomach or even vomiting…at least thats what I tell my kids. **I wanna rest for abit after eating before having to play lifeguard**. The swimming one is one of those universal applied parental rules. My family now says it was invented to give parents a 1/2 tea or coffee break from their lifeguard duties after eating but when I was a kid I hated that one. I know alot of more protective parents who worry about cramping/drowning. I have 2 water rats so my only rules are if you’re gonna puke, aim for the patio and if you’re gonna drown, yell. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaddyStrut \* > I forgot another gem: > > Swallowing fruit seeds will cause them to germinate in your stomach and grow! My maternal Grandmother (who’s primary advice to my Mom and secondary advice could pass the 20,000 character limit for a thread with ease. She (oddly/cruely?) answered her daughter’s “where do babies come from?” query with: watermelon pits. For years my mother was a very cautious watermelon eater. My fave quote from her still (and one I enjoy using) is her retort to a snotty kid who uses _So_. Example: Nana: Johnny, if you don’t wait to digest before swimming, you’ll get cramps. Johnny: _So…_ Nana: Sew your ass. It’s got a big crack in it. ---
**Author:** ![Bugnorton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bugnorton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bugnorton)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/23 "2003-07-19T14:47:29Z")
From Dear Old Dad (d 1986) circa 1974 (I graduated H.S. in '76) “Just remember, these are the best years of your life!” Was the man _ **trying** _ to get me to take a voluntary dirt nap, or what??? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/24 "2003-07-19T15:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > The year was 1998 and I’d just gotten a little bit of money. I wanted to put a healthy chunk of it in some stocks that had good grown potential. Amazon, Yahoo, Microsoft, and Starbucks. A couple years ago the same thing happened to me. The price of Nvidia stock was around $18-$20 each share. The price of each share got as high as almost $80 each about 4 months later. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/25 "2003-07-19T15:28:00Z")
My old worldish abuela who raised me used to tell me that all the reading I did would make me crazy. Oh wait, you said _in_correct. ---
**Author:** ![fotosbyfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@fotosbyfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fotosbyfrank)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/26 "2003-07-19T15:39:40Z")
Hmmm . . . my Dad was (and still is) full of wisdom. Examples: 1. Always run a bar of soap over a new zipper. It will never stick. 2. If you polish a new pair of shoes the moment you get home, they’ll be easier to polish later on. 3. Leaving the front door open will NEVER heat (or cool down) the outdoors. 4. “This isn’t so bad - I remember when I was a kid, I used to have to walk to school and back in the snow, uphill both ways, with cardboard in my shoes because they had holes, and a couple of potatoes that we threw in the stove the night before in our pockets to keep our hands warm because we didn’t have gloves, and we had to eat them for lunch because we couldn’t afford anything else!” (Point of fact - He was saying this long before Cosby used it - and, the potato thingie really works! An ex-girlfriend and I went antiquing once in the middle of a New England blizzard - we went for lunch, and neither of us ate the baked potatoes. I scooped them up, put them in my coat pocket, and they actually kept my hands toasty warm while I waited for her to poke around some of the outdoor displays at the shoppes) Of course, my Mother had (and still has) more practical advice: 1. Don’t run with that stick in your hand - you’ll poke your eye out 2. Stop playing with those scissors - you’ll poke your eye out 3. Don’t sit so close to the TV - you’ll need glasses (Interestingly enough, she never told me not to play with myself, because I’d go blind!) 1. If you do that, and break your legs, don’t come running home to me because I warned you 2. Always wear clean underwear because you never know when you’ll get hit by a car and have to go to the hospital The really sad part is, once in a while, I had used one or two of these with my kids - and I can’t wait until my kids start using them on my grandchildren!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bugnorton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bugnorton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bugnorton)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/27 "2003-07-19T15:51:56Z")
Oh, and from Mom “Never eat anything with mayonnaise in it that wasn’t prepared at home.” Of course, I realize this is a holdover from the times when an ice box really was an _ice box_ like Alice and Ralph Kramden used. I’ve tried to reason with her that the combination of modern refrigeration techniques and the high turnover of foods in a busy deli mean that mayo isn’t any more dangerous than anything else you’d be apt to pick up at said deli, but you just can’t argue effectively with Mom, can you? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/28 "2003-07-19T15:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fotosbyfrank \* > **4) If you do that, and break your legs, don’t come running home to me because I warned you** That’s a chestnut! Please extend my thanks to your Mom and ask her if she’d mind me borrowing it. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/29 "2003-07-19T16:08:14Z")
Dad: Don’t flip the light switch on and off. It wastes five minutes of electricity whenever you flip a switch. Mom: When you get an erection it will point towards the girl you like. The hell? What is it, Stiffy? What is it, boy? No panties at 7 o’clock? Roger! ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/30 "2003-07-19T17:18:58Z")
Always wear a tinfoil hat. You never know when you’re being monitored. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/31 "2003-07-19T18:55:19Z")
This goes under a catagory of simply _weird_: Said to me by the Feminine Gestation Gulag I escaped from after she found out that I was in the process of joining the Navy when I was 17: “Better to masturbate than sleep with a whore.” _shudder_ It was the first time I ever heard her say the word masturbate and the first time I heard her say whore. The next time she said whore was when she called me one when I was 22. She was a _goooooooooooooooooooood_ Mommy. (My vision disqualified me for service. C’est la vie.) ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/32 "2003-07-19T19:00:48Z")
“Don’t read in the dark, you’ll ruin your eyes.” Both of my parents wore glasses when they were considerably younger than I am now. I do not. Good thing I didn’t listen to them. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/33 "2003-07-19T19:09:00Z")
Mom, paraphrased: Logic and critical thinking are so cold and heartless. Quit trying to analyze everything with logic, it’s so cold and emotionless. My mother will never know that I’m on these message boards, ever. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/34 "2003-07-19T22:11:20Z")
Mom: **Coffee will stunt your growth**. It’s a good thing I started drinking coffee when I was 13. Otherwise I’d be ten feet tall now instead of 6’2". ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/35 "2003-07-19T23:11:01Z")
“I’m bored.” “Well why don’t you go take a nap?” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/36 "2003-07-19T23:41:55Z")
**Don’t marry**. Or marry someone with whom you can share chores ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/37 "2003-07-20T00:39:50Z")
Whenever my wife and I went through a period of economic drought early in our marriage, my mother in law’s advice to her was always the same: “Sell all your furniture.” Well, we never did sell the cheap, used, busted-up furniture we could afford at the time (see “economic drought”) and we got through those times OK, but I always have wondered what the heck she was thinking … Oh, and seconds about hearing that “Coffee will stunt your growth” (I’m 6’4" tall, good thing if it did, it’s hard enough finding clothes that fit as it is) and “Always wear clean underwear in case you have an accident and ride in an ambulance.” (Now, if I’m injured badly enough to have to ride in an ambulance and have my clothes stripped off me, I imagine all the BLOOD will hide any embarassing stains.) ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/38 "2003-07-20T01:19:47Z")
From my first mother in law: “why on earth do you want to go to college? You’re just going to have to quit your job when you have the kids.” If I hadn’t been so stunned, I probably would have hurt her. Which would have saved me 8 years. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/39 "2003-07-20T02:31:22Z")
When I was being bullied in elementary school, I told my mom about it and asked her what to do. The answer was “kill them with kindness.” Kill them with kindness. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Because those kids were only picking on me because I hadn’t been nice enough to them. Why couldn’t she have just told me the opposite? It would have worked so much better. And just a couple of weeks ago, when I retreated from my desert town for the summer and brought my plants with me, she advised me to put them out on the backyard fence in full sunlight. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I went ahead and did it. They were fried in less than a day. Other than that, though, she’s a completely wonderful person and almost always makes some sort of sense. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455/40 "2003-07-20T05:21:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* > \*\*“Always wear clean underwear in case you have an accident and ride in an ambulance.” (Now, if I’m injured badly enough to have to ride in an ambulance and have my clothes stripped off me, I imagine all the BLOOD will hide any embarassing stains.) \*\* Plus which, the staff is kind of preoccupied with saving your life and all that. I’ve posted this before, but I’ll just tell it again: once when I was in an ER, the guy in the next cubicle had been brought in from a motorcycle accident. I could hear him through the curtain, apologizing to the female RNs for his lack of **any** underwear. One of them said, “No prob; I’ll just put this towel over you.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-or-incorrect-parental-advice-your-parents-gave-you-growing-up-poll/189455.md?page=3)