# Questionable Super-Powers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 2, 2009, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572 "2009-01-02T07:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shai\_tan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Shai\_tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shai_tan)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/1 "2009-01-02T07:59:36Z")
The ability to plunge toilets with your bare hands. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/2 "2009-01-02T08:36:44Z")
The ability to become invisible in the dark is always a good one. The ability to explode - once. Prehensile intestines. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/3 "2009-01-02T15:50:25Z")
> [@Shai\_tan](#): > > The ability to plunge toilets with your bare hands. How about the ability to clog toilets with no hands? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/4 "2009-01-02T16:06:23Z")
I have the power to see thirty seconds into the future. I have to enter a trance. It lasts for one minute. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/5 "2009-01-02T16:43:02Z")
Being able to shit out your peehole, and pee out your shithole. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/6 "2009-01-02T17:24:04Z")
I can cause an entire 20 oz bag of Cheetos to disappear very quickly. But only once every few days. Us’ta be I could do it more often, but a lot of life is like that. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/7 "2009-01-03T01:43:32Z")
Put me horizontal, and I’ll start to fall asleep or at least get very placid. Apparently, when I’m feeling like this I send out ‘sleep vibes’ that make other people want to go nap, as well. If I ever decide to fight crime I’ll go by the name _“The Ragdoll”_ - I shall sap the energy of villains by looking soft and cuddly. My weaknesses will be sofas in sunny spots, and cheese platters. What? I like cheese, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/8 "2009-01-03T02:06:36Z")
The infallible ability to goad mobs into trying to lynch you. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/9 "2009-01-03T04:21:01Z")
The ability to psychically inflict intense pain on yourself. The ability to extend your eyes on stalks. > [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > If I ever decide to fight crime I’ll go by the name _“The Ragdoll”_ - I shall sap the energy of villains by looking soft and cuddly. My weaknesses will be sofas in sunny spots, and cheese platters. > > What? I like cheese, okay? Which inspires my next idea : The ability to turn into living cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/10 "2009-01-03T05:17:10Z")
Awwwright! My first Nemesis! _airpunch_ ---
**Author:** ![Shai\_tan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Shai\_tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shai_tan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/11 "2009-01-03T11:18:43Z")
Hmmm… That beats my abililty to change my eye color to a _slightly_ different shade of brown… ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/12 "2009-01-03T11:25:14Z")
I can detach my head to throw at an enemy. ---
**Author:** ![mecaenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mecaenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mecaenas)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/13 "2009-01-03T12:57:17Z")
This thread made me think of [Very Mild Super Powers](http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz4f_e02RFM) (song) by David O’Doherty. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/14 "2009-01-03T16:36:53Z")
Super Magnetic Testicles. Can Dribble Mayonnaise Out Of Nose Command Leigons of Roly Poly Bugs Intense Salami Odor ---
**Author:** ![mauxlicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@mauxlicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mauxlicious)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/15 "2009-01-03T17:36:32Z")
The ability to actuate a flux capacitor by only minor tweaks to the knuten valve. ---
**Author:** ![Casserole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b77776/32.png) [@Casserole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casserole)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/16 "2009-01-03T23:00:55Z")
> [@Shai\_tan](#): > > Hmmm… That beats my abililty to change my eye color to a _slightly_ different shade of brown… Does it involve stepping into sunlight? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/17 "2009-01-03T23:05:32Z")
From _Who’s Line is it Anyways?_ "Thank goodness you’ve arrived, **Boneless Boy**! (flop) ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/18 "2009-01-03T23:12:51Z")
The ability to spontaneously burst into flames, like the Human Torch. No ability, however, to actually withstand or survive such a circumstance–at that point, just a screaming guy on fire. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/19 "2009-01-04T05:16:59Z")
The ability to attract cat hair (this is my actual, real-life power). ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572/20 "2009-01-04T05:51:11Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > The ability to spontaneously burst into flames, like the Human Torch. No ability, however, to actually withstand or survive such a circumstance–at that point, just a screaming guy on fire. How about the ability to turn one’s skin invisible? Or incredibly thick skin (The Human Callus)? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questionable-super-powers/479572.md?page=2)