# Questions about Age-Related Forgetfulness or Dementia **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 20, 2020, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209 "2020-05-20T21:07:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/1 "2020-05-20T21:07:53Z")
An elderly acquaintance of mine, around 76 years old, seems to be “losing it” a bit – we have the same conversation repeatedly, she forgets where she puts stuff, etc. I’ve known her for decades and it really seems like something has changed. So, what’s the next step? Should I recommend she sees a (a) neurologist? (b) psychiatrist? © psychologist? (d) some geriatric specialist? Is there anything that can be done if the doctor finds something? That is, are there effective medications that can slow whatever it is she’s going through? Anything else I should know? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/2 "2020-05-20T21:15:28Z")
She should start with her primary care physician, who, if any good, will quickly figure out which specialist she should see. After evaluation, the specialist (in my wife’s case, a neurologist) will run tests to establish a baseline of short- and long-term memory. Is she getting enough mental stimulation during the lockdown? Even things like puzzles can help. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/3 "2020-05-20T21:49:07Z")
There is a test, she can be evaluated, it’s pretty easy. It may well come back as simple age related forgetfulness. Either way, it sets a base line to test against in future, so it’s good to get regardless of what may lay ahead. Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/4 "2020-05-20T22:26:43Z")
She should definitely be tested for a urinary tract infection if the onset is sudden. Believe it or not, it can manifest this way in seniors. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/5 "2020-05-20T22:56:00Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > seems to be “losing it” a bit – we have the same conversation repeatedly, she forgets where she puts stuff, etc. I think this could apply to a significant number of Dopers (including myself). If you forget where you put stuff you can: 1. Acquire duplicates of this stuff 2. Set up a number of specific locations where the item is stored (a place to put your glasses in each room). For bills it is good to 1. set up bank autopays to pay the regular monthly bills automatically. 2. deal with the bills immediately when you get them in the mail–instead of putting them aside. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/6 "2020-05-21T00:23:44Z")
**nearwildheaven** , it has been going on for months, at least. **PastTense** , I forget where I put stuff too, but in the last few months, she’s asking the same questions repeatedly, for example, or having the same conversation. **Kent Clark** , she’s keeping herself busy and is still working part time in real estate. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/7 "2020-05-21T03:42:25Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > **nearwildheaven** > > **PastTense** , I forget where I put stuff too, but in the last few months, she’s asking the same questions repeatedly, for example, or having the same conversation. Definitely dementia. My grandfather had it. This can be very hard on the person living with them. Get help asap, imo. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/8 "2020-05-21T03:45:26Z")
Good to get it checked out, starting with her PCP. But do remember the maxim, “Putting your keys in the refrigerator isn’t a big problem. Forgetting what keys are for, is.” ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/9 "2020-05-21T05:28:13Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Good to get it checked out, starting with her PCP. But do remember the maxim, “Putting your keys in the refrigerator isn’t a big problem. Forgetting what keys are for, is.” Another variation is “Leaving the keys in the door is normal. If you don’t know where you live, that’s not normal.” ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/10 "2020-05-21T11:44:18Z")
OK, thanks, everyone. I’ll recommend she goes to her PCP and see what happens from there. RS ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/11 "2020-05-21T12:20:16Z")
Actually, when my hubs was tested, (normal age related forgetfulness!), on the Drs recommendation/wants a baseline, I asked the tech what symptom, if any, should I bring him back, she said, ‘if his keys are in the fridge’, bring him back! So, I think you might have that bit wrong, based on my experience. FYI. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/12 "2020-05-21T19:29:51Z")
My sister is having this problem with husband and he won’t–just won’t–be tested. She is worried because he has begun to turn nasty, very unlike him. He also won’t stop driving. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/13 "2020-05-29T21:20:58Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > My sister is having this problem with husband and he won’t–just won’t–be tested. She is worried because he has begun to turn nasty, very unlike him. He also won’t stop driving. > [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > My sister is having this problem with husband and he won’t–just won’t–be tested. She is worried because he has begun to turn nasty, very unlike him. He also won’t stop driving. Unfortunately there are loads of tales of people whose personality changes as dementia progresses. Sometimes for the better (I think a Doper once posted about a relative like that), and oftentimes for the worse, as those mental filters that say “this is not appropriate” are no longer in place. In your case, can your sister talk to her husband’s doctor and have HIM intervene, at least from the driving standpoint? The doctor could notify the DMV that he’s not medically able to drive. Also, she should see if she can get him to sign a durable power of attorney now while he’s still at least somewhat at home in his own head; it’ll make later legalities easier. (US terminology and legal documents referenced here, of course; I don’t know where you live but if you’re not in the US, there are likely similar procedures where your sister is). RitterSport: you might want to advise your friend to set similar documents in place - not saying you should encourage her to name _you_, because there are too many horror stories about “guardians” who are not as honest as you would be. Even if her memory is perfectly fine, at age 76 there’s always the chance of something sudden happening. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/14 "2020-05-29T21:39:29Z")
That idea for a durable power of attorney is a great one. I’ll make sure she sets one up with her family. ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/15 "2020-05-29T22:16:10Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Is there anything that can be done if the doctor finds something? That is, are there effective medications that can slow whatever it is she’s going through? Maybe, depending on what she’s going through. For example, there are [medications approved to help with memory-related issues](https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/treatments/medications-for-memory) in Alzheimer’s; effectiveness varies between individuals, but they can help improve symptoms for a while. Antidepressants can help some patients, as depression can worsen symptoms. Occupational therapy can help develop coping behaviors. It’s also possible that the cause of her problems is something else entirely, such as a brain tumor or a series of mini-strokes. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/16 "2020-05-29T22:23:49Z")
> [@slash2k](#): > > Maybe, depending on what she’s going through. > > For example, there are [medications approved to help with memory-related issues](https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/treatments/medications-for-memory) in Alzheimer’s; effectiveness varies between individuals, but they can help improve symptoms for a while. Antidepressants can help some patients, as depression can worsen symptoms. Occupational therapy can help develop coping behaviors. > > It’s also possible that the cause of her problems is something else entirely, such as a brain tumor or a series of mini-strokes. Thanks! I spoke to her daughter and she (the daughter) agrees that she has seen some changes. She’s trying to steel herself for the conversation, which will likely not be pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/17 "2020-05-29T22:39:53Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > That idea for a durable power of attorney is a great one. I’ll make sure she sets one up with her family. Also a health care proxy. She can give whatever guidelines she wants in it; but having a person (or better yet one and a backup) designated to make health care decisions if needed is important. You / the family might not want to present it as being about dementia, but as being about possible stroke or car accident – younger people should have health care proxies also. Seconding that there are a number of possible causes and she should have a good general health care workup to check for such things as urinary infections, and also should have a check on her nutritional status – nutritional problems can cause similar problems and may be treatable. Also seconding that dementia can cause personality changes; as well as exaggeration of traits that were part of the normal personality, but which the person used to be able to keep under control. Sense of judgement of what’s proper behavior and of what it’s reasonable to expect of other people can fade even, sometimes, when memory problems aren’t yet very obvious. But other people remain very easy to live with, or even get more so; it doesn’t take everyone the same way. A refusal to see a doctor, especially combined with a refusal to stop driving, may be defensiveness – the person may on some level realize that their mind is slipping away, which is a terrifying thing; and may be justifiably afraid of losing control of their lives. Unfortunately a refusal to deal with it may only make the problem worse, as it makes it harder to make adjustments; and a refusal to stop driving may actually kill somebody. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2020, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/18 "2020-05-30T00:03:58Z")
B vitamin malabsorption, thyroid dysregulation, and gluten intolerance can be added to this list. ---
**Author:** ![GMANCANADA](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gmancanada/32/2837_2.png) [@GMANCANADA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GMANCANADA)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2020, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/19 "2020-05-30T01:53:21Z")
The only other thing that I’d add, which I’ve seen both with my mother and other elderly relatives, is that if people suspect or know they’re developing dementia, they can _hide_ it very well. Your friend may be worse than it appears. If you met my mother and had a short conversation with her, you’d never know she had issues. It was only if you had longer conversations or ones related to past events (whether 3 weeks ago or 30 years) she struggled. If those topics came up, she’d quickly change the subject or she’d only answer and chat in vague terms. She never used any specific references to other people or specific past events. In hindsight, that went on for years. She was slowly getting worse and hiding it. It was only when it got to the point where she could no longer hide it, that the people around her (including me) noticed. i.e. having the same verbatim conversation every week and her not realizing it. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2020, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209/20 "2020-05-30T23:55:14Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > That idea for a durable power of attorney is a great one. I’ll make sure she sets one up with her family. Yeah, definitely be in touch with someone else in her family (preferably one of her children) about this. You’re a friend and it’s great that you care, but her family really needs to do the heavy lifting. I’ve been through the ‘repeat the same conversation multiple times’ loop as my mother has advanced further into dementia. Used to be two or three repetitions over dinner, but now I can tell her the same family news again every few minutes, and it’s new to her each time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-age-related-forgetfulness-or-dementia/854209.md?page=2)