# Questions about House MD **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943 "2014-04-12T16:08:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/61 "2014-05-02T17:24:47Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > This reminds me of a question I posed to my wife while watching the show once: > > Would you want House as your doctor? > > Odds are you would be cured of whatever dangerous, random, obscure ailment other doctors couldn’t find and put you in the hospital in the first place. However you will first have to suffer House’s personality and at least four of the following: [ul] > [li]vomiting blood[/li][li]cardiac arrest[/li][li]seizure[/li][li]coma[/li][li]paralysis[/li][li]being told you are going to die[/li][/ul] And actually being about to die, until they finally get it right. I wonder why he’s considered such a brilliant diagnostician when 100% of his initial diagnoses turn out to be wrong. He seems to be big on trial and error, heavily slanted toward error. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/62 "2014-05-02T18:28:10Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > This reminds me of a question I posed to my wife while watching the show once: > > Would you want House as your doctor? > > Odds are you would be cured of whatever dangerous, random, obscure ailment other doctors couldn’t find and put you in the hospital in the first place. However you will first have to suffer House’s personality and at least four of the following: [ul] > [li]vomiting blood[/li][li]cardiac arrest[/li][li]seizure[/li][li]coma[/li][li]paralysis[/li][li]being told you are going to die[/li][/ul] Also, being told you are lying. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/63 "2014-05-02T19:34:33Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Would you want House as your doctor? Sure. The part they always skip is the months and months of going to specialists, testing, etc. that the patient has to go through before finally being able to land on House’s doorstep. I’d trade months/years of not knowing for a shot at being on House’s schedule. If you get referred to House, you know you have exactly 55 minutes left to live. It’s like on Law and Order, if the ADA is in the interrogation room, odds are you are facing the death penalty and the ADA is only there to say “if you cooperate, we’ll take the needle off the table.” On Criminal Minds, if the killer doesn’t kidnap you at :30, you’re dead. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/64 "2014-05-02T19:52:36Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > I’ve always seen it as a police procedural, only the “whodunnit” is a “wotcausedit”. > > The breaks from reality / general plot are basically what you’d see in a CSI or a Morse: > > [ul] > [li]Something bad happens[/li][li]Bit of investigation where we learn some stuff about the victim[/li][li]A theory is posited[/li][li]The theory is tested by people who normally wouldn’t do the testing[/li][li]The theory turns out to be wrong with something bad happening just before the ad break[/li][li]Cast is stumped[/li][li]A seemingly random event in the B plot turns out to reveal the key to the whole mystery[/li][li]Happily ever after with maybe some long-term implications for the main cast[/ul][/li] > Add the genius problem solver with a troubled past and attitude / addiction problem, some newish colleagues to explain stuff to, a bureaucratic obstacle, and the grounded friend with a knack for saying the right thing at the right time. > > That’s not to say that the show is _bad_ because of these things, it just means that watching more than four or five at a time becomes an exercise in waiting for the story beats rather than watching for what you are going to get more value out of, which is the characters. This. Is. It. Exactly. My contribution to the drinking game: A shot every time the (internal medicine) team moonlights as phlebotomists, imaging techs, or brain surgeons (or the like). Maybe better make it a sip… ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/65 "2014-05-02T20:01:06Z")
> [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > My contribution to the drinking game: > > A shot every time the (internal medicine) team moonlights as phlebotomists, imaging techs, or brain surgeons (or the like). Maybe better make it a sip… Um, if it was just a good hard look at the shot glass you’d end up passing out by the second commercial break. I can understand why they keep the cast so tight - besides production costs and story pacing, the show would be nothing but the team sitting around waiting for test or procedure results. It is absurd to watch three doctors do everything but mop floors and unload trucks, though… I do notice that when a patient emits copious amounts of noxious fluids, the Young Doctor is quick to say, “Don’t worry - we’ll get a nurse in here for that.” ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/66 "2014-05-02T20:20:06Z")
Remember the episode where Dr. Cameron erased some dudes memory to try to cure him? And it didn’t even work. There was another episode where they had a machine that allowed them to view someone’s dreams. Then there was when Dr. Chase reattached some guy’s thumb without his consent and the show actually made it out like the patient was the one being unreasonable by refusing to pay for a procedure he specifically said he didn’t want. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/67 "2014-05-02T22:50:30Z")
I seem to recall a rather hilarious episode when Wilson, the cancer specialist, called in a patient, middle-aged man who had been diagnosed terminal. “Mr. Whosis, guess what? You don’t have cancer after all! A mistake was made, you are cancer free and you are going to live!” The patient was just FURIOUS. He had had a farewell party. His affairs were all in order. He had sold his house! He was READY to die, and now he had to backtrack and un-F everything because he was going to live! Thanks, Dr. Wilson. Thanks a heap. But my favorite episodes were the 2-part bus accident story, and when House went into the mental hospital after - was it Kutler? - killed himself for no apparent reason. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/68 "2014-05-03T00:04:35Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > However you will first have to suffer House’s personality and at least four of the following: [ul] > [li]being told you are going to die[/li][/ul] Or (or sometimes and) its first cousin, “being told you will die _unless_ you submit to experimental treatment based on a diagnosis that is, at best, a good guess.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/69 "2014-05-05T13:39:20Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Okay, the evolved rules (so far): > > [ul] > [li]If anyone on the the diagnostic team says, “differential diagnosis,” take a sip.[/li][li]When they make a diagnosis, take a sip.[/li][li]When the diagnosis proves wrong, take a sip.[/li][li]If the patient has a seizure, take another sip.[/li][li]If the treatment almost kills the patient, take a shot instead.[/li][li]If a patient dies from wrong treatment, take two shots instead.[/li][li]If House gets the final diagnosis from a random clue unrelated to the case, take a shot.[/li][li]If House wins a bet, take a sip.[/li][li]If House loses a bet, take two shots.[/li][/ul] > [@Knorf](#): > > Dude, you wouldn’t make it sober through half an episode with these rules! Maybe that helps, come to think of it (I say this as a fan of the show, albeit one fully aware of its problems.) > > Here’s a couple more suggestions: > > - Whenever Wilson shows palpable frustration but still obvious bro-infatuation with House. Shot. > - Whenever there is fan service, especially from Thirteen, Cuddy, or Chase. Sip. > - Whenever the patient is caught in a lie. Sip. > - Whenever the patient is caught in a lie directly relevant to their illness. Shot. > - Whenever House commits a felony. Two shots. > [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > This. Is. It. Exactly. > My contribution to the drinking game: > > A shot every time the (internal medicine) team moonlights as phlebotomists, imaging techs, or brain surgeons (or the like). Maybe better make it a sip… A shot every time House tells the Houslings to do something illegal. Double shots for breaking and entering. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/70 "2014-05-05T13:48:59Z")
Also, a sip every time House pops a fistful of Vicodin, and a shot whenever he hands a couple out like breath mints to clinic patients. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/71 "2014-05-05T14:10:24Z")
Okay, now that we’re all a bunch of hopeless drunks… 😃 Just watched the early season 2 episode with the woman suspected of Munchausen’s (background is Off Track Betting). Wow, what a grim ep, with everyone including House just inches from spinning off into destruction. The drinking game would have killed most of us. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/72 "2014-05-05T14:34:00Z")
I seem to vaguely recall (I’m about 60%) that there is some mention of House wanting the team doing the tests so they get done right. We could also further fanwank that they do them themselves because it’s faster, or because it would be pretty hard to justify having four doctors in a team like that unless they’re at least fairly independent. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/73 "2014-05-05T14:35:48Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Also, a sip every time House pops a fistful of Vicodin, and a shot whenever he hands a couple out like breath mints to clinic patients. A sip every time House pounds Vicodin would make for an interesting race to the finish line for your respective livers. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/74 "2014-05-05T14:54:52Z")
And a sip every time House says something very vaguely creepy. A shot for sexual innundoes. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/75 "2014-05-05T15:58:13Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > A sip every time House pounds Vicodin would make for an interesting race to the finish line for your respective livers. 😛 That’s the thing … unless I was a doctor, I couldn’t afford either the alcohol or the liver transplants to keep up with these drinking games. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/76 "2014-05-07T14:11:11Z")
And a shot every time House puts on his [Snarky Face](https://www.google.com/search?q=greg+house&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Mj5qU7XoIsizyATK24GYDw&sqi=2&ved=0CDEQ7Ak&biw=1143&bih=517#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=WTmkKok4-imPAM%253A%3B4O4Sfh2-UMW-6M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdefwalls.com%252Fwallpapers-n%252Fpeople-Hugh-Laurie-actors-Gregory-House-House-M.D.-_4392-18.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdefwalls.com%252Fcategory%252Fcelebrities%252Fpage%252F205%252F%3B1366%3B768) and makes a sarcastic statement. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943/77 "2014-05-07T14:41:59Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > And a shot every time House puts on his [Snarky Face](https://www.google.com/search?q=greg+house&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Mj5qU7XoIsizyATK24GYDw&sqi=2&ved=0CDEQ7Ak&biw=1143&bih=517#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=WTmkKok4-imPAM%253A%3B4O4Sfh2-UMW-6M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdefwalls.com%252Fwallpapers-n%252Fpeople-Hugh-Laurie-actors-Gregory-House-House-M.D.-_4392-18.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdefwalls.com%252Fcategory%252Fcelebrities%252Fpage%252F205%252F%3B1366%3B768) and makes a sarcastic statement. So, two shots every time House is on camera. It simplifies things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-about-house-md/685943.md?page=3)