# Questions one should never answer, even if you have to injure yourself to avoid doing so. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787 "2010-10-20T15:39:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/41 "2010-10-21T20:54:13Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > Reminds me of a joke. Bastard! I was limbering up my typing fingers to post that joke. Now my fingers are all limbered up for nothing. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/42 "2010-10-21T21:15:04Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Bastard! I was limbering up my typing fingers to post that joke. Now my fingers are all limbered up for nothing. See post # 31 ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/43 "2010-10-21T21:21:11Z")
> [@LarryAndro](#): > > My wife told me once, “If I die, marry Jill.” Yikes! Several years later she told me that was the worst advice she ever gave me. Did she tell you it was the worst advice she ever gave you _via ouija board_? (dun dun DUHN!) > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ll concede that I’d save Mrs. Which & Mrs. Who before, say, Ann Coulter. But I’d kill every elephant in India before I’d let my wife die, though I’d feel bad about it. Tired too, I imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/44 "2010-10-21T21:57:46Z")
> [@FatBaldGuy](#): > > See post # 31 Two bastards!! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/45 "2010-10-21T23:34:55Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Two bastards!! Before I can fill your order, I need a little more detail. Do you want two persons who can be verified as having been born out of wedlock? Or can I just send Rush Limbaugh and Michael Mooore over? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/46 "2010-10-22T09:03:09Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > While watching a movie or TV show together that features some good looking actress: > > “Do you think she’s good looking?” > > … > “Do you think she’s better-looking than me?” Those fall into the realm of “questions one should never ask”. Among other things because, if you’re asking in all seriousness “do you think Cyd Charisse had better legs than I do”, either you’ve got out-of-this-world legs or what’s out of this world is your eyes. If my parents had had one of those “these people don’t count as cheating”, she would have been in Dad’s big time - and I’m a straight female but I also can see why. **Skaldimus Supremus** , I believe **Jack** was compaining about two bastards, not requesting them. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/47 "2010-10-22T09:08:11Z")
Be very careful when a woman asks ‘what’s your erotic fantasy?’ It means she’s got her eye on a cute pair of boots that might go with a stewardess outfit, not that she’s finally open to a threesome. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/48 "2010-10-22T09:52:49Z")
> [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > Be very careful when a woman asks ‘what’s your erotic fantasy?’ It means she’s got her eye on a cute pair of boots that might go with a stewardess outfit, not that she’s finally open to a threesome. Where were you when I needed you. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/49 "2010-10-22T11:20:52Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > I’m totally going to ask my husband that this evening. 😃 Post pics! LOL! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/50 "2010-10-22T11:38:55Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > How would you like my hair? Bundled up in my fists while in I ride you like a wild untamed stallion. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyTVS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BunnyTVS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyTVS)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/51 "2010-10-22T12:51:19Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Reminds me of my favorite Andrew Dice Clay joke: > > “Will you still respect me in the morning?” > “I don’t respect you now.” Or: “Of course! But I’d respect you even more if you suck my cock.” ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/52 "2010-10-22T13:13:01Z")
> [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > Be very careful when a woman asks ‘what’s your erotic fantasy?’ It means she’s got her eye on a cute pair of boots that might go with a stewardess outfit, not that she’s finally open to a threesome. This really needs to go in the Official Man Handbook because it’s vitally, vitally important information. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/53 "2010-10-22T14:33:26Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > **Skaldimus Supremus** , I believe **Jack** was compaining about two bastards, not requesting them. So you’re saying I should release Limbaugh and Moore from the Pit? Because there’s no food down there and it’s been, like, 3 days. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/54 "2010-10-22T14:50:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > So you’re saying I should release Limbaugh and Moore from the Pit? Because there’s no food down there and it’s been, like, 3 days. OK, now we need a poll on which one has eaten the other. . . ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/55 "2010-10-22T16:08:26Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > OK, now we need a poll on which one has eaten the other. . . Just dump a barrel of barbecue sauce over them and toss in a fork. that way, we ALL win. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/56 "2010-10-22T19:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > How would you like my hair? With some fava beans and a nice chianti. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/57 "2010-10-22T20:31:21Z")
Also, under the general heading of Things I’ve Learned Not To Say To Women - “I bet you were really pretty when you were young.” I know, it’s totally a compliment, right? But something about it just rubs them the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787/58 "2010-10-22T20:37:28Z")
> [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > Also, under the general heading of Things I’ve Learned Not To Say To Women - “I bet you were really pretty when you were young.” > > I know, it’s totally a compliment, right? But something about it just rubs them the wrong way. Also not a compliment even though it should be: You are so lucky you’re pretty. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-one-should-never-answer-even-if-you-have-to-injure-yourself-to-avoid-doing-so/557787.md?page=2)