# Questions that will never, ever be answered in story. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 13, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023 "2010-10-13T16:57:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/1 "2010-10-13T16:57:09Z")
In which we ask question about books, movies, comics, & such that will almost certainly never get an answer in the story. Or even out of it. Really, it’s not hard. No need to answer them (but I don’t care if y’all ignore that). I’ll begin with… _How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?_ Next? ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/2 "2010-10-13T17:27:58Z")
How does Wonder Woman find her invisible jet? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/3 "2010-10-13T17:31:41Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > In which we ask question about books, movies, comics, & such that will almost certainly never get an answer in the story. Or even out of it. Really, it’s not hard. No need to answer them (but I don’t care if y’all ignore that). > > I’ll begin with… > > \*\*_How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?_ > \*\* > Next? Super glue. Why do we never see Krypto hump someone’s leg? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/4 "2010-10-13T17:32:30Z")
What’s in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/5 "2010-10-13T17:37:51Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > In which we ask question about books, movies, comics, & such that will almost certainly never get an answer in the story. Or even out of it. Really, it’s not hard. No need to answer them (but I don’t care if y’all ignore that). > > > > I’ll begin with… > > > > \*\*_How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?_ > > \*\* > > Next? > > Super glue. > > Why do we never see Krypto hump someone’s leg? :: works action on shotgun, waves it around menacingly :: Anyone who thinks of going all Rule 34 here DIES. Some things you just can’t unsee. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/6 "2010-10-13T19:56:05Z")
Tom Bombadil ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/7 "2010-10-13T20:01:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Tom Bombadil “Tom Bombadil” is not a question. Questions are sentences. _How did Tom Bombadil get someone as winsome as Goldberry to bed him?_ is a question. That’s what you meant, right? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/8 "2010-10-13T20:13:11Z")
epoxy is the answer to all the questions so far. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/9 "2010-10-13T20:14:51Z")
What, exactly, did Flashman do for President Lincoln? That he did a secret mission is established in canon, but what it was and how it resulted in Flashy serving as both a Union **and** a Confederate officer during the war is never explained. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/10 "2010-10-13T20:28:07Z")
[del]Why did bad luck happen to people who used the numbers? What happened to the DeGroots? How did Walt get special powers? How can Desmond not be killed by electromagnetic stuff? Why Can’t the Smoke Monster go through ashes?[/del] Why did I watch Lost? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/11 "2010-10-13T20:46:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?_ > > Next? Check your OHOTMU. The iron-vibranium (Not Adamantium!) alloy was poured into a convenient shield-shaped mold, which had the ridges in it for the straps to attach to. Then the rivets were placed in the ridges to secure it. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/12 "2010-10-13T20:47:40Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > How does Wonder Woman find her invisible jet? Beeper on her keyring. Okay, ‘Mental Radio’. Fine. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/13 "2010-10-13T20:48:53Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > What’s in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase? Purple bladed lightsaber with BMF on the side. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/14 "2010-10-13T20:49:23Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > _How did they attach the handles to Captain America’s indestructible shield?_ > > > > Next? > > Check your OHOTMU. The iron-vibranium (Not Adamantium!) alloy was poured into a convenient shield-shaped mold, which had the ridges in it for the straps to attach to. Then the rivets were placed in the ridges to secure it. Bailey damn it, you are not supposed to be answering the questions! You are supposed to be POSING questions! Do not force me to report you to Johnny Fever. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/15 "2010-10-13T21:23:02Z")
> [@](#): > > “Tom Bombadil” is not a question. Questions are sentences. Oh, right, I forgot the punctuation. Tom Bombadil. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/16 "2010-10-13T21:39:27Z")
Why did Delight turn into Delirium? How did the original Despair die? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/17 "2010-10-13T22:13:47Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > What’s in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase? What was on the CD in _When Strangers Appear_? ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/18 "2010-10-13T22:31:35Z")
Who killed Asmodean? Is the Undying Prince dead? Who watches the Watchmen? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/19 "2010-10-13T22:42:57Z")
Who wrote the Book of Love? ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023/20 "2010-10-13T22:53:47Z")
Who put the bomp In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? Who put the ram In the rama lama ding dong? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-that-will-never-ever-be-answered-in-story/557023.md?page=2)