# Questions you never thought you'd be asked at work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 19, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032 "2004-05-19T20:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/41 "2004-05-20T15:46:53Z")
From my post in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=48799) thread: > [@](#): > > I work at home taking order calls for a shop-at-home channel and last night, this woman called in to place an order. Now, of course, I can’t tell much just listening to someone speak on the phone, but she seemed like a fairly intelligent, articulate woman. She didn’t sound high or drunk or “out of it” in any way as a friend later suggested when I told him this story. So, I really don’t know what to make of this. Anyway, she was ordering some ring and she asked about the gem that was set in the ring. I was reading the description to her (because I know exactly jack shit about jewelry) and I told her that the stone was trillion cut. She asked what that meant, so I pulled up the ring’s photo on our website and told her that it was a stone cut in the shape of a triangle, from what I could see. Her response? > > “What’s a triangle?” > > The only possible explanation that I can think of is that it was really early in the morning and she may have been really tired and just had a massive brain fart. But still, how do you forget what a triangle is? I explained it to her by telling her that a triangle had three sides and three corners. The thing is, I’m still not sure she understood because she still seemed confused somehow. But how else do you explain it? ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Hello\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Lady)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/42 "2004-05-21T04:08:06Z")
I work in an office but a few times a year I get asked to sell our music at a stand during a conference. I always find it amusing (the first couple of times anyway) when I’m standing directly behind a cash register and a customer holds up a cd saying “Can I pay for this here?” :rolleyes: “Nope this is a fake register that we use to dupe people into thinking that they can actually buy our products. Better luck next time”. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/43 "2004-05-21T07:38:44Z")
> [@Lady Kate](#): > > Back in my college days when I was waiting tables, I overheard another waitress ask a customer if she wanted light or dark meat. The customer had ordered chicken fried steak. :smack: > > The customer gave her an “are you serious” look. I didn’t hear the rest of the exchange, but when I caught up with said waitress, I attempted to explain to her that chicken fried steak is beef and not chicken, so it is not necessary to ask if the customer wants light or dark meat. She had a hard time comprehending this because, as she kept reminding me, “But if it’s beef, why is it called _chicken_ fried steak?” To this day, I’m not sure if that poor girl really knows what chicken fried steak is. Well, having never heard of “chicken fried steak”, I can sympathise with the waitress’ bemusement. So: - what is it? - how does one prepare it? - why is there a reference to “chicken”? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/44 "2004-05-21T07:47:28Z")
> [@Cunctator](#): > > Well, having never heard of “chicken fried steak”, I can sympathise with the waitress’ bemusement. So: > > - what is it? > - how does one prepare it? > - why is there a reference to “chicken”? It’s steak pounded thin, breaded, and fried, a la fried chicken. It is steak, fried like chicken. Thus, chicken fried steak. Oddly enough, I just had a long argument with my sister about this the other day, when she ordered it for her toddler and was surprised to receive steak. I managed to talk her out of yelling at the waitress, but I still don’t think she really believes me. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/45 "2004-05-21T07:54:08Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > It’s steak pounded thin, breaded, and fried, a la fried chicken. It is steak, fried like chicken. Thus, chicken fried steak. > > Oddly enough, I just had a long argument with my sister about this the other day, when she ordered it for her toddler and was surprised to receive steak. I managed to talk her out of yelling at the waitress, but I still don’t think she really believes me. \*\*Smeghead \*\* - thanks for the explanation. I’ve never come across such a dish. We do similar things (i.e. crumbed and fried) with veal and chicken and call them “veal schnitzels” and “chicken schnitzels”. So I suppose I’d think of it as a “steak schnitzel”. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/46 "2004-05-21T08:23:45Z")
I don’t get asked dumb questions so much as random weird ones. Somehow, I’ve gotten a reputation at work as the smart one (must be from hanging out with you guys) who knows how to find stuff on the Internet (Google, people!). This means that I get questions out of the blue like: What’s the proper way to hold you hand when giving a Hawaiian ‘peace’ gesture? What’s alanine amino-transferase, and what does it mean if your levels are too low? Is there a golf shop at the Arnoma hotel in Bangkok? What’s the difference between leading, tracking and kerning? What’s a viscous coupling unit, and how does it work? When was DaVinci’s ‘The Last Supper’ finished? What countries have had the most Boston Marathon winners? What kind of clothes does Jude Law wear when he’s at home? Keep in mind that I’m just an ad copywriter. ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/47 "2004-05-21T13:32:42Z")
> [@Cunctator](#): > > \*\*Smeghead \*\* - thanks for the explanation. I’ve never come across such a dish. We do similar things (i.e. crumbed and fried) with veal and chicken and call them “veal schnitzels” and “chicken schnitzels”. So I suppose I’d think of it as a “steak schnitzel”. Larger chain restaurants such as Cracker Barrel and Denny’s will call it “Country Fried Steak” on the menu, since chicken fried steak seems to be too confusing. Everyone I know still _calls_ it chicken fried steak, though…and the waitron will usually know what you mean if you order it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/48 "2004-05-21T13:54:43Z")
The other day, I found myself explaining to a highly respected plasma astrophysicist how to edit a text file. I would have thought that as someone who writes a lot of magnetohydrodynamics code in C++ and FORTRAN that he would have to know how to do this already, but apparently not. Anyway, he asked me how to open a text file. Knowing that this fellow is a bit of a trainwreck, computer-wise, I decided to go lowbrow and suggested that he use the default RTF viewer, but he said that he didn’t like that one. Then I said, “Well, I usually just use emacs. It’s included in OS X—” “What’s emacs?” (The thudding sounds you hear are the jaws of people who have a clue what I’m talking about hitting the floor.) “Uh, it’s a text editor. Do you usually use vi instead?” “Vee eye? No, I don’t think so. Is that for Mac?” I honestly don’t know how this guy has edited text files for the last twenty years! I asked him what used before, and he said that he wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t available on his current computer. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/49 "2004-05-21T14:12:09Z")
Another video store one. Verbatim: Clueless customer: “Do you have that one… with that guy?” Me: “Um… (looking at the new release wall) First Knight”? CC: “YEAH!” I still can’t get over that one. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/50 "2004-05-21T14:12:55Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > Ugh. I think we could start a thread solely on the stupidity of video store patrons, and have no shortage of stories. Oh, no. You don’t know about [www.actsofgord.com](http://www.actsofgord.com). You poor thing. Haven’t been there in awhile, but I recall that the Book of Vengance is the best. OK, it’s not a video store, but… ---
**Author:** ![Satyricon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Satyricon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyricon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/51 "2004-05-21T14:35:21Z")
“how long will this printer cartridge last?” Um. Depends on how much you use it. Or, it’ll last exactly 30 days, after which it will spontaneously combust. Anyone who asks this kind of question would probably be more accepting of the latter answer. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/52 "2004-05-21T14:44:32Z")
These happened to my husband while he was at work. He works at a computer store: Husband: May I help you find something? Customer: Yeah, where are your pens? Husband: Pens? Like ballpoint? Customer: Yes. _walks customer over to small display of office supplies_ Customer: No. You guys had an isle full of pens and pencils. Husband: Sir this is all we have. _customer pulls out a piece of paper and a “Office Depot” credit card_ \*customer looks at my husband’s shirt which clearly states the store he works at and it isn’t Office Depot. Husband: Office Depot is behind the Oshman’s about a 1/4 mile down the road from here. _customer leaves redfaced_ * * * _husband is standing in front of a display full of monitors that “Spiderman” is playing on to show video quality_ Husband: May I help you find something? Customer: Yeah, where are your computer monitors? _Husband turns towards the display and points_ It amazes me at how many people just don’t pay attention to things around them. I get a chuckle when he comes home and tells me the latest story. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/53 "2004-05-21T14:45:55Z")
Well, the one question I _never_ thought I’d be asked at work, at my old job in California: Boss: “Have you ever considered having a sex change?” ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/54 "2004-05-21T14:53:35Z")
Woohoo! An actual conversation I had just this morning. Dumbass: Where can I find our policy on (whatever)? Me: Ummm… perhaps in the policies and procedures manual. DA: What page? Me: Ummm… perhaps you can find it by looking in the table of contents at the front of the policies and procedures manual. DA: Is that in front of the manual? Me: Tables of content usually are. DA: Can I bring the manual to your office so you can look it up for me? Me: Ummmmm… no just look it up in the table of contents. You’ll find it, page number and all. DA: Well, can you tell me what page it’s on? Me: I’m not looking it up for you. I believe you can handle it. Then, a few minutes later I get a call from another staff member. Staff: DA just called me and asked me what page number so and so policy is on in the P & P manual. Is he really that dumb? Me: Welcome to my world. I spent 5 minutes telling him to look it up in the table of contents. S: That’s what I said. Me: Gee, wonder who he’ll call next. S: Giggling uncontrollably while hanging up. Ah… work is good! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/55 "2004-05-21T17:27:20Z")
Another one of those “the asker is close enough to the desired item to get bit by it” tales: At Faire, I get asked where stuff is. A lot. I don’t wear anything to identify myself as someone who actually helped build the place, but apparently I must look like a map. Some of it, I can kinda understand. “Privies” is Faire-speak for the restroom. Not an obvious term for the person who’s never been to a Faire, but that’s what we call 'em. Last year, I was in the “food court” area. It’s set up as a ring, with all the food on the inner side of the ring, and various merchants and grassy spots to sit and eat along the outer side. At one end of the inner side is a bank of privies. A patron and his lady comes up to me and asks where the bathroom is. They are standing not twenty feet from the entrance to the privies, but doesn’t notice it. Nor do they notice the characteristic slamming of the doors or the smell. I unfold myself to full height and width and say “My good sir, pray tell what you mean by a bath room? I had a bath two months ago, and it was in the river. The washer women did scrub me most well and vigorously. Tis a shame that I must wait another month before my next bath as the wenches were most beauteous and pleasurable!” I look as if daydreaming about the fun times with the washer women for a beat and continue "Ah! Now I know. Now I know what it is you speak of when you want a bath room. You wish to use the facilities! They are most easy to locate in our fair shire, my good sir. Simply follow this path around yonder bend. The path will continue to bend, and ye must follow it, not to ever depart the path. There will be many taverns along the way, hoping to tempt you with their succulent delights, but tarry not, lest you be misled and sent along the wrong path. By and by, you will happen upon a large banner with the word PRIVIES emblazoned upon it. It is a most fantastic banner, in glorious colors of brown and a sumptous green. Pass under the banner and ye shall find the room for your bath. The patrons thank me and head off in the direction I indicate, for a roughly 300-yard walk in the wrong direction. Had they gone the other way, they’d be there in about five paces. [bugs bunny] Aint I a stinker! [/bugs bunny] ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/56 "2004-05-21T21:26:59Z")
I used to work in a department store type shop, and every darn day of the week a customer would ask me if an item of clothing would fit someone they know/are related to, who wasn’t with them, and whom I had never seen … Another member of staff in same place once asked me if my hair was real. Wuh? Apparently he thought my plait (braid) was a “wig”. But yesterday he’d seen me, with my hair loose … ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032/57 "2004-05-21T21:44:38Z")
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a corporate trainer for a large technology firm. This morning during our new-hire class, one of the students got a phone call on his cell. We frown on them having them turned on during class, but whatever. He takes it anyway. Turns out it’s from the Human Resources department. They’re happy to inform him that they’d like to hire him on. For the same job he already has. At the same company. I told him he should hold out for a better offer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-never-thought-youd-be-asked-at-work/246032.md?page=2)