# Questions you would refuse to answer. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847 "2007-03-21T11:17:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/41 "2007-03-22T10:53:30Z")
[QUOTE=PoorWarblingOne] I can’t think of many questions from an SO that I wouldn’t answer. That’s kind of the point of an SO; having someone with whom you can be totally honest and from whom you don’t keep secrets. [/QUOTE] “Does my bum look big in this?” “Is she prettier than me?” “Do you ever wish you’d married [name of ex girlfriend]?” “Did you forget to complete [random task] like I asked you?” All of these should never be answered with anything other than “Nooooo!”. I’m happy to share my salary with people outside of work, because my friends are all so different that we’re not in competition with each other… Friend A earns a buttload more than us, but puts in 80+ hrs a week, and Friend B earns a low wage in a zoo but gets to play with baby monkeys in the day. We all recognise that sometimes getting home for 5pm is worth more than a new company car, and can appreciate the relative “added value” that these things add. My voting habits are the only thing that stay 100% secret, even from my wife. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/42 "2007-03-22T13:37:01Z")
I generally am not answering a lot of sexual questions, at least not specific ones. I am actually a bit of a crusader on the money questions. I think in the wrong context asking how much someone makes is gauche, like if it is asked because they have a nice car or big house. I also think workers hurt themselves by not sharing compensation information with each other. Keeping silent about what you make is counter-productive in a lot of ways because it is information the employer has and the employee doesn’t. Where I work now we don’t talk a lot about how much we make in a year, but it varies widely from person to person. Newer hires were being told they would be making X amount by their fifth year with the company. That enticed a number of people to accept the relatively paltry opening salary with the expectation of significantly more down the line. The truth is that no one is making that figure that everyone is told to expect, or at least very few are. The taboo against discussing salary is letting management get away with making promises they know won’t be kept. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/43 "2007-03-22T13:49:11Z")
I got two recently that I deflected with a smile and an evasive answer: “!0 years?! Why haven’t you gotten married yet? It’s financially better to get married.” “Why don’t you buy a house? With the amount of money you’re paying in rent, you could easily afford a mortgage!” Why does everyone think they know my life better than I do? Do they ever think there might be other reasons for me not to do things than the reasons they state? Or that I’ve thought it through and weighed the pros and cons and I’m not interested? Or that it’s my life? And the ever-favorite: “Why don’t you want to have kids? You’d make a great mother!” :smack: Yeah, you know what? I would make a great mother. _I just don’t want the filthy little things_. My nephews and nieces are enough. Yeeyugh. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/44 "2007-03-22T14:56:56Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Or as Heinlein said, “Any sentence that begins ‘I know it’s none of my business, but’ should end there.” [/QUOTE] LONG time fan of Heinlein. The actual quote is attributed to his Lazarus Long character. The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: “Of course it is none of my business but --” is to place a period after the word “but.” Don’t use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about. The Notebooks of Lazarus Long is my bible. [http://www.bobgod.com/lazaruslong.html](http://www.bobgod.com/lazaruslong.html) ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/45 "2007-03-22T15:06:45Z")
“So, didjagetany?” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/46 "2007-03-22T16:46:49Z")
Does this outfit look ugly on me? (when it does) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/47 "2007-03-22T17:46:33Z")
> [@](#): > > “Oh, you saw your old friend? Did you sit on his face?” Well, I gotta admit it’s an ice-breaker. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/48 "2007-03-22T18:01:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] Well, I gotta admit it’s an ice-breaker. Regards, Shodan [/QUOTE] _snort_ I love your sense of humor. There is one question I wouldn’t answer, and it’s kind of silly. In addition to my regular job, I make a much smaller income off writing erotica. I’ve actually received a couple of awards for it. All my friends know I do it; however, I’m not too keen on telling them what my pen name is. It shouldn’t matter, and most of them think it’s pretty cool that I can actually make money doing that, but I’m not sure I want them reading it and knowing it’s me. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/49 "2007-03-22T18:08:40Z")
“Ever been in a Turkish prison?” ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/50 "2007-03-22T18:29:31Z")
I won’t answer questions about other people’s private info - I was asked once by a former friend if my new BF was circumcised. I said “Why don’t you fuck him and find out.” I tend to be sort of blunt about these things. However, even if my SO asked me about one of my friends personal business, I wouldn’t tell him. I prefer not to talk about money. And there’s one other thing that I won’t even talk about not talking about. How’s that for absurd. That’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/51 "2007-03-22T19:20:00Z")
It really depends who’s doing the asking and under what circumstances. I decide on a question by question basis whether or not I’ll answer. There are no questions I’m philosophically absolutely opposed to answering. There are plenty of questions I’m _prohibited_ from answering, though. However, I don’t count a prohibition against answering certain questions to be a question of my willingness to answer, if you see the distinction. For example, I’m an attorney. There are any number of questions associated with my work that I cannot answer if such question is posed by persons other than my client. There are also questions that I’m only permitted to answer under certain circumstances. Alternate examples include: there are questions I could answer but cannot unless other people give permission for me to do so (other people’s secrets, if you will - I know things about my relatives and closest friends I’d never reveal without their permission), there are questions I could answer but am not foolish enough to do so in general (such as my bank account information, SSN, etc.), there are lots of questions good manners forbids me to answer in mixed company with anything other than a bland look and a quick subject change. So, actually, thinking about it, while I can’t think of any question I’d never answer for anyone as “too personal”, there are lots and lots of questions I may not answer depending on circumstances. There are no personal questions pertaining only to myself I won’t answer to my husband. There are very few personal questions I won’t answer to people I know provided I’m satisfied they’re not asking just to get a thrill or use the information against me. (Don’t laugh - several of my in-laws ask personal questions precisely so they can gather ammunition against their loved ones.) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/52 "2007-03-23T14:11:34Z")
I ain’t givin’ ya nothin’ but my name, rank and serial number, ya lousy Kraut bastards! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/53 "2007-03-23T14:46:44Z")
[QUOTE=overlyverbose] There is one question I wouldn’t answer, and it’s kind of silly. In addition to my regular job, I make a much smaller income off writing erotica. I’ve actually received a couple of awards for it. All my friends know I do it; however, I’m not too keen on telling them what my pen name is. It shouldn’t matter, and most of them think it’s pretty cool that I can actually make money doing that, but I’m not sure I want them reading it and knowing it’s me. [/QUOTE] My friends ask me what message board I am so into, and at one point even asked what name I post under. They could probably figure out the board but my user name? I can’t tell them that. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/54 "2007-03-23T15:54:57Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] My friends ask me what message board I am so into, and at one point even asked what name I post under. They could probably figure out the board but my user name? I can’t tell them that. [/QUOTE] I would be the same about this board. I also post on an aviation related board and due to the small size of the industry in Australia and New Zealand, there are people who’ve figured out who I am on there, and I know who some people are on there as well. That doesn’t bother me so much as I never say anything on there that I wouldn’t say to those people in real life (i.e., no TMI stuff.) I’m not overly keen talking about how much money I get with people I don’t know well. Talking about it to people I work with is a no-brainer as everyone is on the same contract with set pay scales. I know what Captain Bob earns because his salary is spelled out in my own employment contract. Having said that, there are others on old contracts who have decided not to sign the most recent one, but I still know what they get because I used to be on that contract and have a copy in my filing cabinet. I can’t come up with specific questions that I wouldn’t answer because the question would probably reveal the answer. Hypothetical example, “Have you had sex with a sheep?” The only reason I’d be wary of answering it is if the answer was yes. I don’t mind answering questions such as, “Do you believe in God?” But I’d be unwilling to answer questions that invite debate such as, “Why don’t you believe in God?” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/55 "2007-03-23T21:40:59Z")
I steadfastly refuse to answer, “Does this make me look fat?” No hesitation. I don’t mind, “Why don’t you have children?” I just say I got my suit back from the dry cleaner, and the bag said, “To avoid hazard of suffocation, keep away from babies and small children.” So I got a vasectomy. “Do you know Jesus?” No, but I know his brother Luis. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/56 "2007-03-24T01:57:02Z")
I’m pretty careful about mentioning my age. I’m at the point in my life where prospective employers might just decide I’m too old to hire. If they want to figure out my age from my life story, that’s fine, and I certainly won’t lie about it. But right now, I’m told I look younger than I actually am, and I figure that’s an advantage at this point in my career. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2007, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/57 "2007-03-24T10:22:23Z")
“So, how often do you and your boyfriend have sex?” So, when did that become any of your business? “You’re into girls? Would you make out with \ for me?” You’re an asshole? Would you go jump off a cliff for me? “Will you leave your loving boyfriend of 16 months to be with me, a total self-absorbed moron?” Well there was an answer to this; AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA_gasp for air_ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. ---
**Author:** ![theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theater_in_a_crowded_fire)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/58 "2007-03-24T18:33:04Z")
I’m a reporter for a small daily newspaper and I spend a lot of my time covering local politics and government. I pretty much have a standing policy that I don’t discuss my opinion on politics or any political issue with anyone but my absolute closest friends. I try very hard to be as balanced and unbiased as possible in my reporting. It’s a small town and it’s just not worth potentially giving someone ammunition to claim otherwise because they know what I really think. My wife is the only person on the planet who actually knows who I vote for. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/59 "2007-03-24T22:44:13Z")
The only thing I can think of at the moment is “What are your passwords?” No one, but no one, has ever been told my passwords to email accounts or network logins. Not my parents, or my SO, or my bestestforeverest friends. Some throwaway email addresses and board accounts, yes, but none of the real ones. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2007, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847/60 "2007-03-25T06:07:19Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] “Do you still beat your wife?” [/QUOTE] I came in to use that! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-you-would-refuse-to-answer/396847.md?page=2)