# Questions you'd rather not answer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270 "2002-12-21T21:25:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/1 "2002-12-21T21:25:57Z")
“What are those dogs doing, Mommy?” “Honey, what did you do with that old flannel shirt I like?” “What did you do in the Vietnam War?” “So what did the boss say to you this morning?” “So what does your report card look like?” “Guilty or not guilty?” “Does anybody know where the car keys are?” “So, son, what kind of chore would you like to do to help your old Dad today?” ---
**Author:** ![ThatGuyWithPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@ThatGuyWithPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatGuyWithPants)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/2 "2002-12-21T21:37:13Z")
the dog quote made my think of a very stupid comment I made once. I was 15 and on a farm with a bunch of Christians when a rooster jumped onto a chicken, feathers a-flyin. “LOOK DAD! THAT ROOSTER IS ATTACKING THAT CHICKEN!!!”…whoops. Then it hit me. Dad took a good look at me and say “um…thats not what its doing son.”…mybad. ---
**Author:** ![ThatGuyWithPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@ThatGuyWithPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatGuyWithPants)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/3 "2002-12-21T21:38:24Z")
oh, and to the origional post: “Do these pants make my butt look big?” ---
**Author:** ![IThinkNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ce73a5/32.png) [@IThinkNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IThinkNot)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/4 "2002-12-22T21:05:23Z")
“Detention after school? What? Why on earth did you get detention?!” ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/5 "2002-12-22T21:07:40Z")
“What’s that smell?” “Who’s in the shallow grave in the backyard?” ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/6 "2002-12-22T22:33:39Z")
“Why is your brother crying and pointing at you?” “Did I just see you drinking from the carton?” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Harvey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@Max\_Harvey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Harvey)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/7 "2002-12-22T22:37:55Z")
“Daddy, what does ‘cunnilingus’ mean?” ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/8 "2002-12-22T23:28:07Z")
Why is The Button blinking? What does “Fatal Exception Error” on the computer running Payroll mean? Who let the dogs out? ---
**Author:** ![jenex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@jenex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jenex)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/9 "2002-12-22T23:55:41Z")
So, do you remember what today is? Is there anything you need to tell me? Did you eat the last piece if candy/piece of cake/slice of pizza/french fry/bit of ice cream/or any other type of food that I’d had more than my fair share of. Would you rather watch the Dukes of Hazzard or Starsky and Hutch? Would you rather sleep with Howard Stern or Fat Bastard? ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/10 "2002-12-23T01:09:30Z")
“Soooo, umm, after that, what did you do with the babysitter’s corpse?” ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/11 "2002-12-23T01:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThatGuyWithPants \* > \*\*oh, and to the origional post: > > “Do these pants make my butt look big?” \*\* Nah. It’s all the greasy food and chocolate you eat that does that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/12 "2002-12-23T03:29:28Z")
“Why was the mailman in your bedroom?” ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/13 "2002-12-23T03:33:46Z")
“What are you thinking?” Sometimes the honest answer is “nothing,” but I don’t think anyone who has asked that question has ever accepted that as an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/14 "2002-12-23T04:00:35Z")
When did you stop beating your wife? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/15 "2002-12-23T04:03:10Z")
“So, **Tripler** , got a girlfriend yet?” :rolleyes: Tripler Is death by strangulation manslaughter or murder? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/16 "2002-12-23T04:10:03Z")
What the hell’s that all over your shirt? How did you get it stuck in _there_? How did you manage to get home? [sub]Please note, the most incorrect answer to that last one would be, “It was easy; it’s not like you moved the house, or anything.” said in a slurred, drunken voice at 5:30 in the morning. Following this up by cracking up at your own wry and cultured sense of humor is generally gonna get you chucked into a cold shower, clothes, mud, blood and all.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/17 "2002-12-23T04:26:50Z")
“Who’s your Daddy?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/18 "2002-12-23T04:30:09Z")
“Do you _really_ have your mind on your money and your money on your mind?” ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/19 "2002-12-23T07:38:48Z")
Are you a boy or a girl? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270/20 "2002-12-23T07:42:37Z")
In public: “So explain to me the intensely personal reasons for which you decided to have sex before marriage.” “Describe to me your beliefs on this hot-button topic.” “Describe to me your thoughts back when you wished to inflict massive pain on a group or people or area.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/questions-youd-rather-not-answer/144270.md?page=2)