# Quick! Find some new uses for men before it's too late! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455 "2004-04-22T16:43:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/1 "2004-04-22T16:43:57Z")
[Mice created without fathers](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3643847.stm) > [@](#): > > The eggs had two sets of chromosomes from two female mice, rather than one from the mother and one from the father as in a fertilised embryo. So, not long before we apply it to humans then. 😉 What’ll we do with our men? I mean, it’s already me that get’s the spiders out of the bath, and they’ve been trying for ages to get us to admit that we’re all secretly lesbians. So, now that they’re no longer needed for pro-creation, what do you reckon we should do with them? I reckon we should dress them up nicely with ribbons and pearls and those 1950’s black and white pictures and use them as giant handbags. I mean, a girl can just NEVER have enough room in her bag and look fasionable too! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/2 "2004-04-22T16:47:43Z")
Uh huh…well then you just go and call that generically-engineered fem-sperm donor the next time you need a spider squished, Missy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/3 "2004-04-22T16:52:25Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Uh huh…well then you just go and call that generically-engineered fem-sperm donor the next time you need a spider squished, Missy! 😃 tsk tsk, well we wont bother to invest in educating you lot to read anymore then for starters. 😛 I don’t squish spiders, I rescue them! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/4 "2004-04-22T16:52:59Z")
> [@Tir Tinuviel](#): > > I mean, it’s already me that get’s the spiders out of the bath… Boy, I should’ve read that OP a bit more closely. Talk about taking the air out of my argument. :o ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/5 "2004-04-22T16:53:14Z")
As long as they still make jars, I’ll still have a job in **my** household. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/6 "2004-04-22T16:55:23Z")
i voulenteer to stand as an example to all me \*puts on ribbons and pearls and holds sign saying “Free Handbag Pick me up Now.” ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/7 "2004-04-22T16:58:05Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > As long as they still make jars, I’ll still have a job in **my** household. 😃 [I wouldn’t count on it!](http://www.dynamic-living.com/lids-off-jar-opener.htm) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/8 "2004-04-22T17:02:16Z")
After all these years of thinking the only thing women were good for was making babies, and I had it backwards all along? (d&r) ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/9 "2004-04-22T17:03:23Z")
If not dirty old men, who else will buy the “secretly lesbian” amateur videos that some girls star in for college tuition? 😃 With irrefutable logic like that, I doom my gender to obsolescence. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/10 "2004-04-22T17:04:55Z")
Seems to me that I need a man around to assure I stay alive. I always forget to lock the doors at night and that’s the last thing Mr. Jar does before going to sleep. I guess what I’m saying is, without men, I’m too stupid to live. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/11 "2004-04-22T17:07:55Z")
I think there will always be a sizeable group of us around who will still prefer organic produce. As it were. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/12 "2004-04-22T17:10:51Z")
> [@RAWDuke](#): > > After all these years of thinking the only thing women were good for was making babies, and I had it backwards all along? You mean you do all your own cooking and ironing and cleaning? :eek: > [@jarbabyj](#): > > I guess what I’m saying is, without men, I’m too stupid to live. But with them around by comparrison you’re smart! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/13 "2004-04-22T17:57:17Z")
Hmmm, I already squish my own spiders and mow my own lawn, and take care of my own car, and open my own jars and carry in the giant bags of dog food. The only thing I could think of to keep them around for is sex, but as one of my coworkers once pointed out, you can go buy a dick. Gosh, **Dr.J** ’s lucky he’s cute. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/14 "2004-04-22T17:58:59Z")
Alright! This is great! Just you wait…pretty soon, the Gubmint will declare straight males an endangered species. Then they will pass laws protecting us, and they will establish a captive breeding program where we are fed and housed and given all the chances we want to mate with a large number of females, and… What? It’s called college? Never mind then. As long as Bud Light has twistoff caps, I will still be needed around _this_ house! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/15 "2004-04-22T18:01:45Z")
Would this thread still be open if it were gays being discussed? I thought wishing death on someone was a bannable offense. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/16 "2004-04-22T18:18:30Z")
> [@Steelerphan](#): > > Would this thread still be open if it were gays being discussed? > > I thought wishing death on someone was a bannable offense. Eh? what on earth are you talking about? I wasn’t aware gay men were capable of concieving and gestating their own children without external assistance, and if we’re talking about gay women, surely this new advance in technology would only benefit them. How has anyone in this thread wished death on anyone? Point me out the post, cos I missed it. I’m attempting to get people to make amusing alternative uses for men before you all die out from this amazing new technology. COS IT’S GONNA HAPPEN! What’s the matter, worried you’re not gonna have time to get your donors gold card membership at the Sperm Bank? 😃 It’s called a joke sweetie, if the textual content wasn’t enough to give that away, then the copious smilies should have triggered your sence of humour required alarm or did we find a technological way to remove that ability from men too? (that was another joke, albeit a poor one) And before you play the sexism card, in case you hadn’t noticed, there are a few similar themed jokes about women in here too! Good Lord. :rolleyes: > [@Hal Briston](#): > > fem-sperm I wasn’t gonna rise to it, but it’s got to be done… Is this the same as Wonderful Living Woman Sperm? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/17 "2004-04-22T18:23:14Z")
> [@Tir Tinuviel](#): > > …and they’ve been trying for ages to get us to admit that we’re all secretly lesbians. No, no, no, no, no. We _fantasize_ that you are secretly _bisexual_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/18 "2004-04-22T18:41:34Z")
It’s one sorry excuse of a joke. Thank you very much for the insult and condescension. > [@](#): > > So, now that they’re no longer needed for pro-creation, what do you reckon we should do with them? > I reckon we should dress them up nicely with ribbons and pearls and those 1950’s black and white pictures and use them as giant handbags. I mean, a girl can just NEVER have enough room in her bag and look fasionable too! To make a handbag, one must kill the animal in question. Your “joke” said “what should we do with them?”, as if you had the authority to make that decision. > [@](#): > > It’s called a joke sweetie, if the textual content wasn’t enough to give that away, then the copious smilies should have triggered your sence of humour required alarm or did we find a technological way to remove that ability from men too? Oh- that explains it all. Ha ha, so you’re on the way to “do something” with us. That implies that something needs to be done. Forget the gay analogy- I was using it to portray a class of people who are discriminated against. I can’t play the sexism card, because you said so, and you make the rules. The truth is, even joking about replacing an entire class of people because that are “useless” is a form of hate mongering. You may be making a joke, but aren’t you at least a little bit serious about it? Do you have a problem with certain men, that you have to paint all men with your broad brush? > [@](#): > > I’m attempting to get people to make amusing alternative uses for men before you all die out from this amazing new technology. COS IT’S GONNA HAPPEN! Now you say for certain that I’m going to be killed because of this. I plan to fight to the bitter end. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/19 "2004-04-22T18:52:53Z")
I wouldn’t start putting your men out on the curbside for pickup so quickly. I was listening to a report on this yesterday on NPR, and in 400 mice that they were able to do the procedure on, only 2 survived. And it took raising chromosomally modified mice to get to creating the material to make the 2 to survive. Not a cheap process. And since it’s been tested only on mice, there is the question of porting to humans. I’d say it’s more a query to gain knowledge than to put it in use at this point. It’s pretty cool knowledge, though. Susan ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455/20 "2004-04-22T18:55:18Z")
Hey, you know it was bound to happen. I mean, you think they REALLY like sleeping next to your hairy ass and beer gut? _sigh_ Hey, when are they gonna come up with gene therapy to reverse pre-natal testosterone poisoning? :: Resigned to the fate of the trash bin of evolution :: ☚ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-find-some-new-uses-for-men-before-its-too-late/241455.md?page=2)