# Quick! I need a good riddle **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201 "2009-01-20T20:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ntcrawler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/34f0e0/32.png) [@ntcrawler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ntcrawler)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/1 "2009-01-20T20:22:48Z")
I’m working on a little project and need a short but eyecatching riddle. Something that would get someone to stop and take notice, witty enough to actually get them to want to solve it and submit the answer. Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/2 "2009-01-20T20:29:52Z")
The Pope has one, but never uses it Arnold Schwarzenegger has a large one A nun doesn’t need one Michael J Fox has quite a small one Madonna doesn’t have one Your father has one, but your mother uses it What is it? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/3 "2009-01-20T20:32:22Z")
(A surname) ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/4 "2009-01-20T20:32:54Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > The Pope has one, but never uses it > Arnold Schwarzenegger has a large one > A nun doesn’t need one > Michael J Fox has quite a small one > Madonna doesn’t have one > Your father has one, but your mother uses it > > What is it? a last name, though the last statement isn’t true for my kids! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/5 "2009-01-20T20:39:06Z")
What crawls on all fours in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening? Man. How do you get down off an elephant? You don’t. You get down off a goose. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I like string. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/6 "2009-01-20T21:04:12Z")
What is the proper forum to submit requests for riddles? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ntcrawler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/34f0e0/32.png) [@ntcrawler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ntcrawler)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/7 "2009-01-20T21:16:54Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > What is the proper forum to submit requests for riddles? > 😛 I’m hoping for something which is somewhat obscure so that potential victi- er volunteers won’t try to cheat by searching online, which implies research, which probably would qualify for GQ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/8 "2009-01-20T21:29:33Z")
There are the Spoonerism type riddles, but the only ones that pop into mind are not suitable for polite company. What’s the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? \>A woman in church has **H** ope in her **S** oul; a woman in the tub has **S** oap in… What’s the difference between a rooster and a shyster? \>A rooster **CL** ucks de **F** iance; a shyster…de (the) **CL** ients. Surely there are some clean ones. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/9 "2009-01-20T21:41:49Z")
One that I made up a while ago, so I doubt it’s searchable: Never at noon, never at night Always my back is out of sight If you would see me, I appear When the world dries its tears ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/10 "2009-01-20T21:47:11Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > Surely there are some clean ones. What fun are they? What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits. [QUOTE=Chronos] One that I made up a while ago, so I doubt it’s searchable: Never at noon, never at night Always my back is out of sight If you would see me, I appear When the world dries its tears [/QUOTE] A rainbow? ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/11 "2009-01-20T21:47:27Z")
A rainbow? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/12 "2009-01-20T22:04:00Z")
> [@ntcrawler](#): > > I’m hoping for something which is somewhat obscure so that potential victi- er volunteers won’t try to cheat by searching online, which implies research, which probably would qualify for GQ? 🙂 Not really - there’s no objectively correct answer to your request. I’d say MPSIMS or possibly IMHO (if it could be considered a poll). ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/13 "2009-01-20T22:04:43Z")
A man without eyes sees plums on a tree. He neither takes plums nor leaves plums. How can that be? He has one eye and sees two plums, one of which he takes. Two men, one facing due west and the other facing due east, stand watching. The man facing west asks, “why are you smiling?”. How did he know the man facing east is smiling? They are face to face, not back to back. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/14 "2009-01-20T22:07:08Z")
More of a puzzle than a riddle, but: Sylvester Stallone Rutger Hauer Orson Welles Pierce Brosnan ? ? ? Bruce Willis Max Von Sydow (I invented the above riddle. I’ve posted it in other message boards, so it might be Googleable) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/15 "2009-01-20T22:51:42Z")
Moving to MPSIMS from GQ. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/16 "2009-01-21T02:21:55Z")
> [@cmosdes](#): > > A man without eyes sees plums on a tree. > He neither takes plums nor leaves plums. > How can that be? > > He has one eye and sees two plums, one of which he takes. Spoiler response: So… he doesn’t have eyeS (plural); he has ‘eye’, and he doesn’t have/leave plumS (plural), he has/takes ‘plum’? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/17 "2009-01-21T03:57:50Z")
My first is a number, my second another. And each (I assure you) will rhyme with the other. My first I can say is one fifth of my second, And when both are together a long period reckoned. A man is found dead one morning in his study with a pistol in his hand and a tape recorder next to him. When the cops hit play they simply hear “Everyone I know is dead, I’ve lost my job, I have nothing to live for.” How did the cops know it wasn’t a suicide? And, of course, the obligatory “dick move” one: A particular stump in a farmer’s yard is used to feed the local squirrel, who happens to like corn. Every season he puts 10 ears of corn in the stump. The squirrel leaves with three ears every day, how many days does it take for the stump to be empty? ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/18 "2009-01-21T04:02:52Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > And, of course, the obligatory “dick move” one: > A particular stump in a farmer’s yard is used to feed the local squirrel, who happens to like corn. Every season he puts 10 ears of corn in the stump. The squirrel leaves with three ears every day, how many days does it take for the stump to be empty? Not sure why that one is a dick move… unless the answer isn’t 10? No clue on the others. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/19 "2009-01-21T05:06:54Z")
When you have it, you want to share it. Once you share it, you no longer have it. What is it? A secret. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201/20 "2009-01-21T05:17:41Z")
What’s the difference between a smoker and Kermit the Frog? A smoker enjoys a cig in the pack… 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quick-i-need-a-good-riddle/482201.md?page=2)