# Quote a friend **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888 "2000-10-22T17:30:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/21 "2000-10-24T00:58:46Z")
and one of my favorites… _“I WANT WORMS!!!”_-Kalen, after seeing me with a bag of gummi worms in my hand. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/22 "2000-10-24T00:58:57Z")
Y’all are going to have some fucked-up yearbook quotes . . . ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/23 "2000-10-24T01:20:25Z")
I have quite a collection [here](http://homepages.go.com/~racngrrl21/quotes.html). A new one: It could be a chimney, but come on, we’re in Hell! _–M. Payne, my French teacher_ ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/24 "2000-10-24T02:08:21Z")
Jennifer, our foreign exchange student, when an American friend was speaking to her in slow, loud English: “I’m German, not retarded.” CTY classmate Anna describing different musical genres: “Alternative is like, kill yourself. Rap is like, kill others.” CTY instructor James on debating manners: “Don’t yell. This is philosophy. We don’t yell in philosophy… Yeah, we do, but don’t. It’s not nice.” Allison’s version of telling people to shut up: “Stifle yourself. Oyster it. Put the cat back in the bag.” NV teacher/surrogate mom Leslie quizzing Austin on his rotation through outpatient surgical services: Leslie: “What did you learn in surgery?” Austin: “Not to touch the blue stuff.” Me defending my position as a bassoon player in band: “Yeah, well, I’m first chair, too. Granted, there’s only two of us, but still.” Jenn talking to her father after I had bribed with ice cream to help me clean my room: Jenn: “I’ll do anything for food or money.” Jenn’s Dad: “You know, some cultures have a word for that.” ---
**Author:** ![Mirth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mirth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirth)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/25 "2000-10-24T03:51:30Z")
(waking up) “Hey, quit groping me!” ::mubles incoherrently:: “Hey, wake up! You were groping me in your sleep.” (now awake) “You’re lucky I didn’t mount ya!” Said by my best friend the morning after a girl’s sleepover. ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/26 "2000-10-24T04:38:04Z")
First of all TheNerd, your friend Steve would fit in marvelously here with my friends. We have pages and pages of quotes, but here are a few, for starters: “Well, my god’s not that grumpy.” – Whitney What I really want are dead bodies. – Jason, explaining what makes a good romance movie. No one took wenches’ bosoms from me! – Jill (refering to a scattegories answer (things that bounce), but still!) List 8 looks good, it starts with “things that are sticky.” – Eric We’ve already used C. – Whit She’s a big girl, too. She has bonus livers. They’re not boobs, they’re livers. – Whit, about a friend who can out drink anyone we know I am a dreidel, watch me dance! – George, as he pranced around like well, I s’pose it was a dreidel, in the middle of the cafeteria The king of Israel is going to come back and hurt me. – Steve Why? – Jill Because I’m making fun of his genitals. – Steve It’s okay. He’d understand. If he were here, he’d make fun of your genitals too. – Jill (if it helps at all, Jill has a little copy of the David statue.) Maybe I was from South Dakota and nobody told me. – George If I were directing a play, I’d make you Nero or a claymation character. You look like a frustrated emperor. Or a claymation character. – Jill, to George Well, security came into our room on “routine safety inspection” and found a beer bong, an alligator, and a crossbow. – Aaron Do you mean an alligator? Or is an alligator one of those things which I’m not privy to? – George Maybe you SHOULD wear the dress. If you wore the dress, I’d be your pimp. You’d make the best transsexual whore. – Jill, to Steve, about Heather’s dress He can be my lesbian. – Whitney, in reference to Steve and his thigh highs, after the magic 8-ball pronounced 3/4 of the room lesbians . . . Are you pillaging and conquering George?? I don’t think so! – Whit, to Steve She’s got . . . what is it? Necrophilia. – Whit’s mom, about Whit, meaning narcolepsy No!!! That’s copulation with a corpse! – Whit Don’t make me come over there and castrate you with a fork! – Suz, to Denver That’s NOT your G-spot. – Steve We’ve already got 8 pages this semseter, and there are many other lists too . . . but I’ll let you move on now. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/27 "2000-10-24T06:33:32Z")
Note: my bookstore tends to be quite warm. Me, last night: Damn, why is it always so hot in here? Co-worker, in eerie voice: Because we’re in **hell**. Bwahahahahah! ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/28 "2000-10-24T21:57:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Erika \* > \*\*List 8 looks good, it starts with “things that are sticky.” – Eric > We’ve already used C. – Whit > > The king of Israel is going to come back and hurt me. – Steve > Why? – Jill > Because I’m making fun of his genitals. – Steve > It’s okay. He’d understand. If he were here, he’d make fun of your genitals too. – Jill > (if it helps at all, Jill has a little copy of the David statue.) > > Maybe you SHOULD wear the dress. If you wore the dress, I’d be your pimp. You’d make the best transsexual whore. – Jill, to Steve, about Heather’s dress > > He can be my lesbian. – Whitney, in reference to Steve and his thigh highs, after the magic 8-ball pronounced 3/4 of the room lesbians . . .\*\* OK, I now officially pronounce you and your friends cool, Erika. You would fit in so perfectly with my friends at school. And at USY too. I wonder why this thread is starting to die? I’m sure more people have friends that say strange things. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/29 "2000-10-24T23:41:07Z")
_A friend of mine and I were talking about a party we went to on Saturday night and he kept bugging me about looking frightened when I saw pigeons in the dark of an abandoned room while in the company of 2 girls._ Him: “Well you would’ve looked good if you weren’t afraid of pigeons.” Me: “Dammit, they could’ve been bats! Besides, I’ve got a reputation to maintain… that of a kinky clown-lovin sadist!” ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/30 "2000-10-25T00:40:57Z")
This was said today during it: **"And I’ll be the minister of whores."** -the ever annoyingly vulgar yet funny Blinder ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/31 "2000-10-25T01:07:47Z")
Reginald G. Samples - “The more I teaches you, the dumber you gets.” ---
**Author:** ![DigitalMuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@DigitalMuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalMuse)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/32 "2000-10-25T01:10:41Z")
In response to one of those survey things Innie or Outie? Marquis- I prefer the outdoors… The poor boy gets confused often. I had to write down the two CDs I was going to let my friend borrow so I would remember to bring them. On my paper I inadvertantly wrote: Orgy 3 Doors Down. That’s just wrong… It’s perfectly reasonable to eat a Chips Ahoy in 10 bites, what are you making fun of me?!! You probably think it’s cute, damnit!! Yes, I do own a cat. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/33 "2000-10-25T02:03:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\ ***"And I’ll be the minister of whores."** > \*\* It’s not fair. I want in on the odd quoting monty python and douglas adams referencing class. But noo…we only get the teacher singing I’m too sexy for religion. Tasha, do I want to know what context Jason said that in? ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/34 "2000-10-25T03:41:28Z")
**Erika** , I am my friend Steve. I mean, I am Steve. Those were quotes that my friend Cath had collected from our various conversations. Now that I know she’s doing it, I’m going to have to try to catch a few of hers too. My roommate in college had a reputation for saying the most awful things, without knowing it until it was well out of his mouth. I’ve lost most of them, but as an example, he was talking about a game of Quake, and he uttered this sentence: “So, there I was behind these two guys, just pumping away…” He would have gotten further, but everybody else in the room burst out laughing at that point. That was actually rather tame compared to some of his gems. I’ll try to keep track of his latest too. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/35 "2000-10-25T05:38:48Z")
“Ignore the furniture in the catalog and embrace your hideous life.” “Holy shit, if some guy ever said that to me, particularly whilst astride me, I’d shed every bit of inhibition in my body, along with every article of clothing I happened to be wearing at the time.” “Sunny D is now the purple stuff! Up is down! Black is white! Dear god!” “If you need me, I’ll be in the corner overdosing on Prozac.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/36 "2000-10-25T06:24:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juniper200 \* > \*\*“Holy shit, if some guy ever said that to me, particularly whilst astride me, I’d shed every bit of inhibition in my body, along with every article of clothing I happened to be wearing at the time.” > \*\* Care to supply the other end of this quote? For the record, y’know. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/37 "2000-10-25T12:35:03Z")
Alas, **iampunha** , that information has been lost to history. The email to which my friend was replying isn’t in any of my folders. I do remember that the statement which induced this quote was uttered during one of my first extended sessions of “alone time” with my (now ex-) boyfriend. Beyond that, I really don’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/38 "2000-10-25T19:10:03Z")
_In Creative Writing class today, we were working with surrealism. The way we do surrealism is by teaming up, and each person writes a question and an answer (not the the same question) without knowing what the other is writing. The halves are then combined at random and VOILA! Ersatz surrealism. The following quotes come from today’s 80-minute session. I haven’t put them on my webpage yet. (Werthner’s the teacher. I’m Jenn. My friends are Carlee [female] and Jay [male].)_ _Werthner:_ For this I want you to shed your inhibitions. _Jay:_ And our clothing? _Jay:_ Oh, you only THINK that’s a pencil. _Surrealist Poem #1 from my group:_ Why is Jay? Because he is God, the Almighty. _Surrealist Poem #2:_ Why is the sky blue? Because Stone Cold said so. _#3:_ Who’s going to win the World Series? YO MAMA! _Jay:_ Why is it called the WORLD Series? It’s all American. America is NOT the world, no matter how Americentric we all may be. _Jenn:_ Well, technically Canada has the chance to get in there, but I don’t think that realistically the Jays have much of a chance at all. And two North American countries do not equal the world. _Jay:_ Canada wouldn’t count in the first place. It’s just like America, only stupid. _I beat him up for insulting Canada._ _Jay:_ WHERE IS MY NOTEBOOK!?!?!? _Carlee:_ I ate it. _Jay:_ You ate my notebook? _Jenn:_ Carlee, you ate Jay’s WHAT??? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/39 "2000-10-25T19:21:10Z")
Me: Hannah, are you putting lotion on the cow [stuffed animal]? Hannah: It’s for his headlights. Me: What do you mean, his headlights? Hannah: They’re little bugs that make your head itch. Me: [Uh oh.] Where did you hear about that? Hannah: On TV. Me: [Whew.] ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888/40 "2000-10-25T19:21:13Z")
_is trying not to laugh too loud in the library_ Oh boy… those are good… the only one I can think of off the top of my head (I don’t usually collect quotes from friends… but then I don’t have many friends…) “What we do here is Pole Play.” - said by Bobby aka Dierto Mak when explaining to someone that we were Role Playing in chat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-a-friend/37888.md?page=3)