# Quote... ...unquote game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792 "2003-03-07T20:52:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 63
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1242 "2003-07-07T01:36:22Z")
> [@](#): > > “He huffed, and he puffed, but all that moved was…” "…air molecules. The Wolf looked around. There was no house to be seen. He scratched his head. What was going on? After a moment he noticed a distant sign. As he approached, things became clearer, but it wasn’t until he was close to it that understanding dawned. Wolf read the sign over and over again with a sinking heart. _Towaway Zone_." “I’ve got thirteen tonnes of hot rice pudding to get to Vladivostok tomorrow, and…” ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1243 "2003-07-07T02:37:29Z")
“. . . absolutely no more room in my pants.” “I swear, in the candlelight he looked exactly like . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1244 "2003-07-07T03:58:59Z")
"…that guy we met at that gas station, y’know, when we were on that road trip with your old girlfriend and that other guy, and we were passing through Marquette, and we stopped at the pizzeria that didn’t have pizza, and then the gas station, and the attendant was that funny old man that said he was related to your cousin, only you said no, because all your cousins were living in either Turku or Tallinn, I don’t remember which, but then after we got back you asked Mom and it turned out that cousin Vlado had been a sailor and hade done time on the lake freighters, and… …anyway, he looked like that." “Mom? Is that you?..” ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1245 "2003-07-07T16:54:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sunspace \* > \*\*"Mom? Is that you?.. …What time is it? Huh! It’s 2 o’clock in the morning mom, let me sleep. Hey quit pushing. What? Why are you trying to change my sheets at this time of the night? It’s pitch black woman. Have you been listening at my door again? I wasn’t doing anything, I was sleeping. It was the window banging in the wind you heard, listen…_bump bump bump_. See? I wasn’t doing anything. Are you wearing surgical gloves? Jesus Christ get outta here you clean freak. Let me sleep." " I mean she was BIG, I think the tune ‘3 Times a Lady’ was penned with her in mind…"\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1246 "2003-07-07T19:19:48Z")
“…and she can see by radio too! Those eyes have got to be at least a metre across. Now _that’s_ big.” “Mrs. Windsor, come quickly. There has been an… event… at the Main Residence. We need to get you to…” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1247 "2003-07-08T16:43:03Z")
“…decontaminate Master Bates bedroom, before the Lord and Lady Bates return from holiday.” “Maurice had a burning desire to learn if a huge, gangly moose would behave with the grace of an ice dancer, once placed in zero gravity. The only way to know was…” ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1248 "2003-07-08T17:18:47Z")
“…to go to the Ice Capades on Mars.” “The next time you’re in Beirut, and you have your clown suit and a few hours to kill, make sure to…” ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1249 "2003-07-08T19:48:41Z")
“come on down to Unpainted Beirut, where we got the southwest’s largest collection of unfinished furniture in the region” “sometimes when I lay awake at night, I think about that time I …” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1250 "2003-07-08T20:07:19Z")
“…hid in a jar in the back of the fridge. Time is quite a difficult commodity to hide, and I was only able to pull it off that once. Of course, when I went to use it later (extending a morning so I could sleep in and still get to work at 9:00), it had gone bad. Do you have any _idea_ what kinds of mould grow on time? It’s scary, just scary.” “Summer is IT. Summer is the season…” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1251 "2003-07-08T20:17:44Z")
“… of Carrol Singing and Christmas Cheer.” this message brought to you by the Australian tourist board “Excess wear and tear can be avoided by …” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1252 "2003-07-12T00:26:21Z")
“…lubrication and a few friendly kisses.” “11K$ for a custom accordion was more than Agusto’s papa was willing to spend, so he decided to…” ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1253 "2003-07-12T00:52:50Z")
“…put the squeeze on his cousin Frank’s nephew’s brother’s wife’s uncle, who might manage to find a box that happened to fall off the back of a truck.” “In this pamphlet you will find helpful information…” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1254 "2003-07-13T04:23:37Z")
“…which if observed, may preclude your being stuffed into a steamer trunk and dropped into the ocean. (1) Your payment is due on or before the 10th of every month.” “Aloysuis missed the daily cantering of the hedgehogs and wondered if their departure was owing to…” ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1255 "2003-07-13T04:51:10Z")
" . . . his decision to stop putting dishes full of hedgehog kibble all around his garden. Nah. Probably something else entirely." “When Honoria at last opened her eyes and beheld the specatacle of Ambrose picking his toenails with his teeth – again! – she . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1256 "2003-07-13T17:26:19Z")
“…quickly turned off the TV. These reality shows were getting a little to real for her taste. She shuddered delicately and turned to Ramón. Her Adonis, her god, Ramón would never be so déclassé as to allow her to see such a thing.” “As she turned to view him, she discovered to her horror that…” ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1257 "2003-07-13T21:31:08Z")
“…his head had turned into a clock. and not a good one either. this one looked like it had been made by Salvador Dali!!!” “As Uncle Jimbo loaded his shotgun, he muttered…” ---
**Author:** ![Brad\_Pittiful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Brad\_Pittiful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brad_Pittiful)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1258 "2003-07-13T22:37:27Z")
…quick Ned shoot, they’re coming right at us if you can’t lick 'em… ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1259 "2003-07-13T22:42:16Z")
“…then display them in a small glass jar, preserved in formaldehyde!” “Matt gave the doorknob a twist and was surprised when…” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1260 "2003-07-14T00:14:39Z")
“…it wriggled sensuously in his palm.” “He was even more surprised when he realised that the door had _two_ knockers…” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792/1261 "2003-07-14T00:52:54Z")
“…and they were two of the _nicest_ knockers he had seen since the evening his desire for a cold beer found him inside Dominique’s Den of Depravity.” “Good Evening. This is your Captain, and if you look out the left side of the airplane you’ll see two white dots, which are the parachutes of the First Officer and me. I’d suggest that one of you…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792.md?page=62) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quote-unquote-game/159792.md?page=64)