# Quotes that, darn it, need to be posted. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023 "2003-06-19T22:43:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/1 "2003-06-19T22:43:25Z")
Everyone put yours in. Be nice and read everyone else’s. From an episode of _Family Guy_ I just saw, a news anchor at a desk: “Next up, stay tuned for our special investigative report - The Clitoris: Nature’s Rubik’s Rube” Cracked me up, man. LC ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/2 "2003-06-19T22:46:15Z")
Kent Brockman, news anchor on “the Simpsons” " And now a trend that’s sweeping the nation… wasting food" I say that every time I clean out the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![Vanyel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Vanyel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vanyel)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/3 "2003-06-19T22:47:48Z")
“Real men love getting hurt - that’s why God invented bandsaws!” --Greg Proops (probably in _Whose Line_, but I’m not absolutly sure) ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/4 "2003-06-19T23:17:53Z")
Mine is from the great yet-canceled television show “Undeclared” - Lloyd: We’ve gotta back Steven up. Are you guys men or pretty ladies? Ron: Pretty lady right here. Marshall: Yeah, I’m a pretty lady, too. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/5 "2003-06-20T00:26:12Z")
Another from the Simpsons: Hey, relax. I told you, I got money. I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled. – Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger (later Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure, and nearly Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure Nahasapeemapetilon) from the episode “Black Widow” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/6 "2003-06-20T00:47:11Z")
From _Dumb and Dumber_ Life’s a scary thing. One minute you’re eating a burger, the next you’re dead meat. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/7 "2003-06-20T01:29:49Z")
The universe can’t end! I made jam! - Sonali Karnick ---
**Author:** ![NameAlreadyTaken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@NameAlreadyTaken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NameAlreadyTaken)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/8 "2003-06-20T01:39:44Z")
Two from Buffy… “You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them.” - Spike “That’s the kind of wooly: headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.” - Principal Snyder ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/9 "2003-06-20T02:47:27Z")
“I have a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.” (Blackadder) (Incomplete without the rejoinder: “You wouldn’t know a cunning plan if it stripped naked, painted itself purple, and started dancing on the piano, singing, ‘Cunning plans are here again’!”) ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/10 "2003-06-20T03:41:13Z")
From tonight’s _Family Guy_ Peter: Yeah, it costs a little bit extra, but I would do _anything_ for _you_, Brian. Brian picks up his coffee cup. Brian: I’ll be out on the verandah since you’re already on the cross. ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/11 "2003-06-20T04:01:03Z")
“Yeah Moe, did you see the team last night? Those guys sucked! I mean, I’ve seen teams suck before, but those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.”–Homer after Marge asks Bart where he picked up his language “Give me the keys you cock-sucking motherfucker!” Take your pick, but I like Fenster’s version the best in “The Usual Suspects” “Back in his day, he was the bitch’s bastard.” Things you do in Denver when you’re dead “Could’ve killed you Dick, but I don’t want to kill you, I wanna eat.” Emelio Estevez in “Young Guns” “Religion is when God, like Elvis, has left the building.” Bono ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/12 "2003-06-20T14:08:17Z")
I had a dream last night where I was playing a game that involved posting a quote on a blackboard. So although this isn’t a quote from a movie or tv show or book or anything, it seems appropriate to post the one from my dream: “I am the butters lover!” ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/13 "2003-06-20T14:20:13Z")
Ah, _Family Guy_. From the episode where Lois takes Tae Kwan Do: Peter: She floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/14 "2003-06-20T14:24:04Z")
“One man’s mundane and boring existence is another man’s Technicolor.” Tick - Strange Days (1995) ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/15 "2003-06-20T14:30:53Z")
a couple of _Spaced_ Quotes: **Job Interviewer** :why did you leave your last job? **tim** : oh i had a difference of opinions with the boss **Job Interviewer** : phantom menace? **tim** : yeah and… **Tim** (_Reading housemate Daisy’s diary_): Ha Ha Ha - Thrush! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/16 "2003-06-20T14:33:26Z")
“Those that would give up essential liberties to purchase a temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” -Benjamin Franklin ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/17 "2003-06-20T15:12:07Z")
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a tree.” --Jason Lee (not the famous one) ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/18 "2003-06-20T15:13:50Z")
“You’d have died of a real bad case of slow.” (Credit for a Kill - Bonanza) Yeah, shucks, I’ll admit it - I’m a Bonanza freak. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/19 "2003-06-20T15:27:52Z")
Another Benjamin Franklin quote: “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023/20 "2003-06-20T15:57:45Z")
“The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist.” – Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/quotes-that-darn-it-need-to-be-posted/183023.md?page=2)