# R.O. Teen sues parents for ...aw fuck it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 4, 2014, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810 "2014-03-04T05:55:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/181 "2014-03-06T21:59:25Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Of course - if he wins, he’s set a precedent that he will be very unhappy about. Nah. If he’s a family law attorney he envisions a whole new unexplored territory with him as the pioneer and only expert. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/182 "2014-03-06T23:03:19Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > She doesn’t have a hope in hell of winning unless she can pull a rabbit out of her hat on the abuse allegations. As the Dread Pirate Roberts said to a defeated Inigo Montoya, “Please understand I hold you in the highest respect” **Muffin** , but this is why people hate lawyers. Because when communication and cooperation between two parties has broken down so badly that third parties like Judges and Attorneys are brought in to resolve the dispute they add to the rift by the eminently predictable outcome of the western adversarial legal system. They make it about winning and losing, instead of reconciliation or mutual benefit. Because Attorneys are hired guns and when you’re in a gunfight you either kill or you die and that kind of extremist “winner takes it all” framework is almost certain to make a family rift into a chasm that will never be bridged. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/183 "2014-03-06T23:35:11Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Yes. > > Join the real world, kayaker. I’m with you, kayaker. There isn’t a magic age when people “turn bad”. If you have a crappy relationship with your kid, as soon as they are strong enough, it’ll start showing on the outside, but it was crappy long before they turned 13. You just didn’t know it, because they were so dependent you didn’t have to know. The only thing I can truly say about this debacle-story is that both the parents and child have horribly damaged their lifelong relationship with each other. In such a case, who were the good guys and who were the bad guys is usually (not always, but usually), not what is important. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/184 "2014-03-07T04:52:53Z")
**Loach** covered it. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/185 "2014-03-07T05:21:13Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Nah. If he’s a family law attorney he envisions a whole new unexplored territory with him as the pioneer and only expert. And a daughter that can move out and sue him - and use his own arguments from this case against him. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/186 "2014-03-07T05:34:26Z")
Perhaps their desire to be flexible eroded somewhat over time, since apparently whenever she screws up, she blames someone else (including abuse charges that were not substantiated). ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/187 "2014-03-07T13:45:57Z")
> [@simster](#): > > And a daughter that can move out and sue him - and use his own arguments from this case against him. More publicity! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/188 "2014-03-07T14:41:06Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > More publicity! See - even I can be defeated by my own arguments! Settle now! ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/189 "2014-03-07T15:11:46Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > You, of all people lecturing grown-ups on “independence” is like Paris Hilton lecturing people about money-saving tips and simple lifestyles. > Dude, you live in your mommy’s basement, she does your shopping and you berate her when she gets the wrong ingredients. Anything you tell us how your parents raised is _a cautionary tale_. Oh shit… in six to eight months you’re really gonna get an earful. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/190 "2014-03-07T16:05:59Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Oh shit… in six to eight months you’re really gonna get an earful. And given that [the SDMB has taught BiggieTard to hate](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17160384)\*, you can be sure that he’s going to make his mommy go to the store, buy a big, lactose-free can of whoop-ass on his behalf, then make her use the can opener to open it for him so he can let me have it. \*No. Seriously. > [@BigT](#): > > The idea that it’s okay to hate someone is not something I’d encountered until this messageboard. . ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/191 "2014-03-07T16:25:06Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > No they are not. She is 18. If she wanted to sign herself out of school and not graduate even in a public school she could. And there is nothing the state or the parents could do about it. She’s an adult. If she wants to go to school the state is obligated to let her go to high school. I’d have to look it up but I think that’s up to 20 to account for those held back. But the parents have no obligation to give an adult an education. That is paid for by everyone’s property taxes. You are right. I was thinking she was still 17. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/192 "2014-03-07T18:24:49Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Of course they are legally required to give her an education through high school. They are not required to give her a **private** education. She can finish through public education just like 99.99999999% of us did. I was referring to college expenses after age 18. I agree that she shouldn’t get private school tuition for high school. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/193 "2014-03-07T18:27:19Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I’m with you, kayaker. There isn’t a magic age when people “turn bad”. If you have a crappy relationship with your kid, as soon as they are strong enough, it’ll start showing on the outside, but it was crappy long before they turned 13. You just didn’t know it, because they were so dependent you didn’t have to know. But that’s not what kayaker is saying. He’s saying ALL bad kids can ALWAYS be blamed on their parents. That’s bullshit. Kids sometimes just go bad no matter how good the relationship is or how good the parents were. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/194 "2014-03-07T22:58:59Z")
Just thinking out loud, I wonder if she could recover under some quasi-contract or promissory estoppel type theory. Maybe her parents told her when she was younger not to worry, that she had a college fund at the ready and that they would pay for her schooling. Under the right set of facts could she claim that she relied on these promises to her detriment and that the parents cannot now equitably yank that support away? Note: I think this suit is garbage, and the attorney who filed it should possibly see sanctions; again, depending on the facts. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/195 "2014-03-08T21:39:18Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Just thinking out loud, I wonder if she could recover under some quasi-contract or promissory estoppel type theory. Maybe her parents told her when she was younger not to worry, that she had a college fund at the ready and that they would pay for her schooling. Even if they titled a 529 account in her name, I doubt that would work because the parents would simply claim that it was a gift conditional on her maintaining good grades and remaining in their good graces. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/196 "2014-03-08T23:23:38Z")
One of the lawyers may correct me, but that would just be a broken promise and not a broken contract. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/197 "2014-03-09T01:20:32Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > One of the lawyers may correct me, but that would just be a broken promise and not a broken contract. Even if it were to be construed as a contract - she broke her end of it at the end of the term - truancy, kicked off teams, etc - all of this happened ‘before’ she left the house. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/198 "2014-03-10T12:05:13Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Yeah, but she wasn’t skipping a day or two a semester–one source reported she was suspended for truancy before the first semester was half-way over. I think reasonable people can generally agree that missing enough school to be suspended for truancy really is that big a deal. > > While we’re getting all anecdotal, my parents did set hard rules, and I was never out past 11 (my curfew was midnight, but all of my friends had curfews of 10:30 or 11), did drugs or alcohol, or told my mother I wanted to shit on her face. I was a pretty easy kid, though, and probably would have turned out fine without rules. It sounds like you were probably also a pretty easy kid who would have turned out fine with the reasonable rules my parents imposed. I have friends and a brother, however, who weren’t easy kids and under your parents’ no-rule regime would have gotten themselves into some seriously deep shit as teenagers. Shit deep enough they might not have been able to recover from it as adults. > > And I shudder to think what any sort of negotiation with my brother would have been like–he was and is the undisputed King of Well-I-Don’t-See-Why-I-Have-To-Do-That. Brushing his teeth, chewing with his mouth closed, doing his homework, going to bed, getting up, getting out of the shower while there was still hot water for the rest of the family, refraining from chasing the cat with the lawn mower or hitting me in the fontanel with his fist…it was all a huge, drawn-out argument that he never let up no matter how many perfectly valid, reasonable explanations he got. The only argument that ever shut him up was “You have to do it because I’m going to [insert punishment here] if you don’t.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the fact that he was permitted to reach adulthood is proof my mother is a far better person than I’ll ever be. > > That’s the thing about raising children–you act as though there’s One True Way that will get good results with every single kid out there, and there’s just _not_. I don’t know this particular school’s rules, but I know some private schools do have really strict policies wrt truancy, meaning that we can’t make assumptions about how much she was out of school. It’s not actually always that big a deal. I honestly don’t understand why the parents are fighting about the school fees. They chose to send their daughter to this school, presumably because they think it’s the best way forward for their kids. Now they don’t think she deserves that even if she keeps up her attendance and grades? Why? ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/199 "2014-03-10T13:24:41Z")
Truancy is almost always a big deal. Even if the course work is already known and the child isn’t benefitting much from the materials being presented, truancy isn’t an acceptable reaction to boredom in the classroom. It means “not in school at all, but out somewhere doing something not sanctioned by school or parents”. Sometimes, rarely, a school may not accept some reason for absence that the parents find sufficient. I knew parents who took their middle schooler to Washington, D.C. for three days of museum tours and a meeting with a congressman. The school called the absences “unacceptable”. But that surely doesn’t seem to be the case here. These look like plain old “skipped school because I wanna” problems. As for the school fees, perhaps the parents’ resistance is to paying them to the daughter when their obligation is almost certainly to the school. Private schools normally make contract with parents or legal guardians, not with minor children. And perhaps the school isn’t (as far as we know) pursuing collection because the amount due may depend upon the circumstances of the child’s return (or not) to school, the amount of remedial work required, and her arrangements for graduation. For all we know, the school may have verbal or even written assurance from the parents that they intend to make good on their obligation as soon as the messy situation is resolved. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810/200 "2014-03-10T15:01:39Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > One of the lawyers may correct me, but that would just be a broken promise and not a broken contract. That depends. Maybe she didn’t get a summer job to save for college because she relied on their promise to pay for it. Maybe she didn’t play on the volleyball team because they told her she wouldn’t need to earn an athletic scholarship. Hell, maybe they just conditioned the money on her maintaining a certain grade point average (which she presumably has if she’s still an honor student.) Those are the quasi-contract/promissory estoppel theories **jtgain** is referring to: if you do something, or refrain from doing something you have the right to do in reliance on another person’s promise, that promise may become a binding agreement (even if the promisor did not intend to bind himself.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/r-o-teen-sues-parents-for-aw-fuck-it/682810.md?page=11)