# Raccoon breaks into liquor store and samples the wares **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** liquor-alcohol\ **Created:** [December 3, 2025, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381 "2025-12-03T23:54:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2025, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/1 "2025-12-03T23:54:51Z")
I thought about posting this in Cafe Society, but decided it fit better here. And it passed out right next to the toilet! They are smart creatures, after all. > **[Drunk raccoon found passed out on liquor store floor after breaking in](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy8jnxxm70jo)** > > The intoxicated animal suffered no injuries and was released back into the wild by animal protection once sober. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2025, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/2 "2025-12-03T23:55:52Z")
I bet he had a mother of a headache. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2025, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/3 "2025-12-04T00:00:57Z")
…And all through the night, you could hear him roar, “Bring on the godddamn cat!” ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2025, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/4 "2025-12-04T00:04:06Z")
Poor little trash panda!! What an adventure! ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2025, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/5 "2025-12-04T00:15:32Z")
Well no wonder he passed out next to the toliet, drinking bottom shelf liquor. Freshman year mistake with same result. 🤮 ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2025, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/6 "2025-12-04T00:20:25Z")
Reminds me of the anecdote about some soldier who was drunk but couldn’t pass a breathalyzer device to drive a car, so he grabbed a raccoon and used it to, uh, pass the breathalyzer device. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2025, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/7 "2025-12-04T00:24:30Z")
Somewhere in the Black mining hills of Dakota, there lived an young boy named Rocky Racoon. But that ends up as a bad Beatles song. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/8 "2025-12-05T01:49:42Z")
It really makes you wonder what a raccoon’s rock bottom would have to be to make it finally admit it has a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/9 "2025-12-05T02:11:59Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I bet he had a mother of a headache. I had the same thought. Poor little dude won’t know why but he’s gonna be hurting for a day or two. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/10 "2025-12-05T02:26:48Z")
So one day, he walked into town Booked himself a room in the local saloon… ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/11 "2025-12-05T02:28:34Z")
> [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > Well no wonder he passed out next to the toliet, drinking bottom shelf liquor. Freshman year mistake with same result. Scotch is bottom shelf liquor??? How many college kids have a taste for Scotch? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/12 "2025-12-05T02:53:53Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > [Drunk raccoon found passed out on liquor store floor after breaking in](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy8jnxxm70jo) > The intoxicated animal suffered no injuries and was released back into the wild by animal protection once sober. If only there had been undergraduate protection officers when I was at uni. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/13 "2025-12-05T02:55:55Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](#): > > It really makes you wonder what a raccoon’s rock bottom would have to be to make it finally admit it has a problem. 👍 ! The image at 0:27 made me think of the Irish Rovers: “Wasn’t that a party!” > [@Chronos](#): > > …And all through the night, you could hear him roar, “Bring on the godddamn cat!” Quoth the Rovers: "And the cat was talking back! " ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/14 "2025-12-05T03:06:09Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Scotch is bottom shelf liquor??? > How many college kids have a taste for Scotch? I thought bottom shelf just meant cheap and all types of liquor have a cheap version. Raccoon apparently digs Scotch. Next time he’ll know to go for top shelf. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/15 "2025-12-05T03:19:14Z")
I had a raccoon come down the chimney once, Santa style, in the middle of the night. I think he was sober but who knows with these guys. The little guy got scared and jumped up on the mantle, making a mess of the wall when he tried to climb up it. I was really sleepy but I managed to get a broom, open the front door, and politely show him the way out. He went. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/16 "2025-12-05T03:21:02Z")
There are raccoons and opossums in the woods near my apartment complex. We usually don’t see them, except at night, but one day, I saw a small animal curled up under a shrub and assumed at first glance that it was a puppy. Nope - it was a raccoon cub, asleep, and one can assume that Mom was nearby. I checked back later, and it was gone. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/17 "2025-12-05T04:36:34Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Scotch is bottom shelf liquor??? > How many college kids have a taste for Scotch? It can be, I believe that Monkey Shoulder is a cheap Scotch. And many youngsters start out by taking or diluting their parent liquor cabinet. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/18 "2025-12-05T07:23:27Z")
Okay. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/19 "2025-12-06T11:44:14Z")
Long story short: I used to work in a brewery warehouse. One night, a few cases of bottled beer spilled off a pallet, and broke. We cleaned up the broken glass and torn cardboard, but there was still spilled beer. Some time later, somebody noticed that a mouse was drinking from the puddle of spilled beer. A little later, somebody noticed that the mouse was passed out beside the puddle. Still breathing, but out like a light. We put orange safety cones out around the little guy, so the lift operators would avoid him. None of us, including the lift operators, wanted to hurt him. The next night, the safety cones were still there, and the spilled beer had dried up, but the mouse was nowhere to be found. We joked that he was back in his home, nursing one helluva hangover. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381/20 "2025-12-06T16:31:49Z")
I have a fig tree that drops fruit every year. It ferments. The wild life all come for the party. I’ve seen drunken birds trying to fly. Deer passed out on the drive way. Raccoons and possums sleeping in all manner weird places. I saw a feral pig one time. He was looking at his feet. Head down. Only his forehead was pressed up againt a tree trunk. I looked closer he was asleep. Just standing there. Pressed into a tree. Snoring. They all a bunch of lushes, around here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raccoon-breaks-into-liquor-store-and-samples-the-wares/1025381.md?page=2)