# Rachael Ray - She's as cute as a speckled puppy! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952 "2006-10-26T06:03:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/1 "2006-10-26T06:03:15Z")
[Really!](http://kitchen.apartmenttherapy.com/food/news/rachael-ray-one-of-times-100-most-influential-people-008502) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/2 "2006-10-26T07:10:29Z")
She may be, but that grimace does little for her, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/3 "2006-10-26T07:11:14Z")
Yeah, I’d do her in a microsecond, but I’m getting weary of her “sammys” and “Yum-OH!” I have filthy, filthy thoughts about her, though… George ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/4 "2006-10-26T08:27:27Z")
Nah. Not doing it for me. And whenever she opens her mouth, I just want to stuff a cantelope in it, because she annoys the living fuck out of me. Sorry, I’m overreacting. I’ll take the older (15 years my senior), but far sexier and more alluring Nigella Lawson. Growl. A personality and voice I could stand, with an air of sophistication, and classic beauty. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/5 "2006-10-26T11:47:49Z")
My father has the warmies for Paula Deen. By the way, Alton Brown is my secret boyfriend. Hummina hummina hummina. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/6 "2006-10-26T12:11:49Z")
[QUOTE=pulykamell] Nah. Not doing it for me. And whenever she opens her mouth, I just want to stuff a cantelope in it, because she annoys the living fuck out of me. Sorry, I’m overreacting. I’ll take the older (15 years my senior), but far sexier and more alluring Nigella Lawson. Growl. A personality and voice I could stand, with an air of sophistication, and classic beauty. [/QUOTE] How did you know exactly what I was going to post? Get outta my head! (except the part about the cantelope, I never would have thought of it. That was inspired.) But Nigella… I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/7 "2006-10-26T12:32:04Z")
It’d never work out. You’d get together over a hot stove, lots of foodplay sex at first. Then she’d be cooking all the time and not interested in it out of work, while you’d be eating her leftovers and gaining weight. Then she’d get bored of the food thing, but by that time you’d be obese and she’d run away with the cameraman. Rachael’s cute, but Nigella’s the one for me. She’s POSH TOTTY. And beautiful, not just cute. And intellectual. And rich. And alluring. And proper woman shaped. Phwoar. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/8 "2006-10-26T12:57:32Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] …Nigella’s the one for me. She’s POSH TOTTY. And beautiful, not just cute. And intellectual. And rich. And alluring. And proper woman shaped. Phwoar. [/QUOTE] Yiou _know_ she’d beat you to within an inch of your life and, sobbing, you’d thank her for it. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/9 "2006-10-26T13:07:08Z")
Rachael Ray is the living, breathing definition of “perky”. I can see me getting tired of the perkiness. Over time. A long time, but it would probably happen. And Nigella Lawson is entirely too severe looking for me, beautiful, not my type. But, with the proper school marm attire…yeah, that’d work. And I’ve been a very naughty boy. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/10 "2006-10-26T14:03:04Z")
The first time Rachel Ray and I were to go on a date, and she tried to leave $.18 for a tip, we’d be over. For all of her intolerable qualities, her daily demonstration of being a horribly cheap jerk really pisses me off the most. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/11 "2006-10-26T14:04:26Z")
First I’ve heard of Nigella, so I Googled. You all have excellent taste. RR? She’d drive me nuts w/ the incessant talking. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/12 "2006-10-26T14:31:05Z")
[QUOTE=astro] [Really!](http://kitchen.apartmenttherapy.com/food/news/rachael-ray-one-of-times-100-most-influential-people-008502) [/QUOTE] Cute as a speckled puppy? Eew! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/13 "2006-10-26T14:54:36Z")
I never miss a show if I can help it, and I harbor intensely perverted thoughts about her and EVOO. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/14 "2006-10-26T16:06:00Z")
Rachel Ray annoys the living daylights out of me. The unrelenting perkiness and constant jabber get on my nerves almost immediately. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t leave a reasonable tip, ever. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/15 "2006-10-26T16:08:58Z")
I hit the “mute” button, and suddenly watching her make food was pure, filthy pleasure. But have you seen that Maxxim spread, or whatever it was? I couldn’t stop laughing. Somebody needs to get this woman into a proper photo shoot, and stat, because she ain’t exactly wasting away. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/16 "2006-10-26T16:14:02Z")
[QUOTE=Loopydude] But have you seen that Maxxim spread, or whatever it was? I couldn’t stop laughing. Somebody needs to get this woman into a proper photo shoot, and stat, because she ain’t exactly wasting away. [/QUOTE] [Here’s Ray Ray’s FHM spread](http://www.torontopics.com/digital/ray.html). She doesn’t look bad, of course, but the images look horribly forced. A proper photo shoot would do her good. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/17 "2006-10-26T16:15:33Z")
[QUOTE=DaddyTimesTwo] Rachael Ray is the living, breathing definition of “perky”. I can see me getting tired of the perkiness. Over time. A long time, but it would probably happen. And Nigella Lawson is entirely too severe looking for me, beautiful, not my type. But, with the proper school marm attire…yeah, that’d work. And I’ve been a very naughty boy. [/QUOTE] Ray is perkier than Mary Tyler Moore in her Mr. Grant days. And a lot less fun. Lawson bugs me because she used to write food articles for the New York Times. I found the articles almost unreadable. Her writing style was both pretentious and boring. Yes, I know I’m going to get flayedmore for the Nigella hating than the Rachael Ray rag on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/18 "2006-10-26T16:18:28Z")
[QUOTE=pulykamell] [Here’s Ray Ray’s FHM spread](http://www.torontopics.com/digital/ray.html). She doesn’t look bad, of course, but the images look horribly forced. A proper photo shoot would do her good. [/QUOTE] Yep, that’s the one. I really can’t look at this. I’ll start giggling again. The one with the spoon, holy crap! Who’s brilliant idea was that? ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/19 "2006-10-26T16:49:41Z")
I could go for a Nigella Lawson-Rachael Ray sandwich right now. . . Yummy. > [@Scribble](#): > > The unrelenting perkiness and constant jabber get on my nerves almost immediately. Nothing a ball gag won’t fix. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952/20 "2006-10-26T16:50:39Z")
[QUOTE=LavenderBlue] Lawson bugs me because she used to write food articles for the New York Times. I found the articles almost unreadable. Her writing style was both pretentious and boring. Yes, I know I’m going to get flayedmore for the Nigella hating than the Rachael Ray rag on. 😃 [/QUOTE] No, no…you’re allowed to hate on Nigella. One less guy to fight for her affections with, and all… Anyhow, they used to carry Nigella’s column in the Food Section of the Sun Times here and, to be honest, I don’t think I ever really read it. I think I just stared at the pictures that invariably accompanied the article. Food porn at its finest. At any rate, if I did read it, she didn’t leave any sort of impression on me. She certainly doesn’t come across as pretentious on her TV program(me), and her cooking is pretty down-to-earth and downright comfort-y at times. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rachael-ray-shes-as-cute-as-a-speckled-puppy/377952.md?page=2)