# Raise your glass! Great toasts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114 "2007-07-09T23:13:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/21 "2007-07-10T17:46:11Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] “Here’s to our wives and sweethearts–may they never meet!” I’ve been using this one for a while (wives and girlfriends and not sweethearts). Do you know the source? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/22 "2007-07-10T17:50:01Z")
Friends may come And friends may go Friends my peter out, you know So here’s to friends through thick and thin Peter out… or peter in! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/23 "2007-07-10T17:50:50Z")
“Bloody war and quick promotion!” - A Royal Navy toast from the long, quiet decades after the Battle of Trafalgar “Here’s mud in your eye!” - Dates from WWI, I believe “I know half of you half as much as I would have liked, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!” - Bilbo Baggins’s eleventy-first birthday toast “Her Majesty the Queen!” - The Loyal Toast of the U.K. “The President of the United States!” - The first toast at any U.S. military dinner; to the office and not to the man (or, someday, woman) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/24 "2007-07-10T17:51:41Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] A toast! To bread! For without bread, we would have no toast! [/QUOTE] A toast: to Melba! ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/25 "2007-07-10T18:01:27Z")
Here’s to the girl in the little red shoes. She smoked all my smokes, she drank all my booze. Sure, she’s no virgin. But, that ain’t a sin. She’s still got the box that her cherry came in! ETA - I’m writing these down. There’s some good ones I’ve never heard. Good thread. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/26 "2007-07-10T18:02:39Z")
“Up yours.” ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/27 "2007-07-10T18:05:44Z")
OOh another one. Slightly cheesy, but: There’s good ships and bad ships and ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, so here’s to you and me. ---
**Author:** ![dannyness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b77776/32.png) [@dannyness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dannyness)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/28 "2007-07-10T18:12:07Z")
> [@](#): > > A toast: to Melba! “To Texas!” ---
**Author:** ![dannyness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b77776/32.png) [@dannyness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dannyness)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/29 "2007-07-10T18:15:16Z")
Oh! I just remembered a good one. Sorry for the multiple post. “May your coffin be made of the finest wood of a 100-year-old tree that I’ll go plant tomorrow.” ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/30 "2007-07-10T19:52:18Z")
[QUOTE=MissMossie] In rugby, we had a variation of this: > [@Antinor01](#): > > Here’s to you and here’s to me, > May we never disagree. > But if we do, > The hell with you, > Here’s to me! Here’s to you and here’s to me, The best of friends we’ll always be! And if you decide to shit on me, The fuck you, bitch And here’s to me! [/QUOTE] And yet another variation. Seems to be a popular theme. Oddly enough this was also a rugby thing. Here’s to the bee that got the bull a’buckin Here’s to Adam and Eve who got the whole world fuckin Here’s to you, Here’s to me, The best of friends may we always be, But if you should ever fuck me, Well fuck you! Here’s to me. ---
**Author:** ![FlightlessBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/cdc98d/32.png) [@FlightlessBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlightlessBird)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/31 "2007-07-10T20:13:50Z")
My favorite: > [@](#): > > Here’s to all the kisses I’ve snatched… > and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![MTRG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@MTRG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTRG)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/32 "2007-07-10T20:33:24Z")
here’s to the breeze(ez) that flow through the trees(ez) and gives us a glimpse of that which teases squeezes pleases and gives us all venereal diseases… by jesus ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/33 "2007-07-10T20:53:12Z")
[QUOTE=Jackknifed Juggernaut] [QUOTE=Spoons] “Here’s to our wives and sweethearts–may they never meet!” I’ve been using this one for a while (wives and girlfriends and not sweethearts). Do you know the source? [/QUOTE] Not sure of the source, but I know it’s given as a toast in the film _Master and Commander: The Far Side Of The World_ and, like so many lines in that movie, I’m pretty sure it was taken from one of O’Brian’s books, though I don’t know which one. ETA: And I suspect O’Brian didn’t make it up; he was great on authentic turn-of-the-19th-century British Navy detail, so I’m guessing it’s a toast from at least that time. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/34 "2007-07-10T21:00:34Z")
[QUOTE=MTRG] here’s to the breeze(ez) that flow through the trees(ez) and gives us a glimpse of that which teases squeezes pleases and gives us all venereal diseases.. by jesus [/QUOTE] The variation I learned: Here’s to the breezes That blow through the treezes And lift girls’ skirts Above their kneezes And reveal the spot That pleases Teases Spreads diseases And smells… \ Oh, Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/35 "2007-07-10T21:09:15Z")
“Here’s to those we love the best… Our noble selves. There’s none better, and many a damn sight worse.” I also remember vaguely some rather rambling toasts given by Orangemen relatives at various family events in the past, but they tend to have less than 100% savory contents. ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/36 "2007-07-10T21:10:52Z")
**Sam Stone** beat me to Quint’s quote, so here’s _Justice for the brave, Justice for the free. Let each man be paid in full, That’s just enough for me._ ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/37 "2007-07-10T21:26:24Z")
Here’s a real downer of one, from an old country song: Here’s to all the soldiers Who have ever died in vain The insane locked within themselves The homeless down on Main To those who stand on empty shores And spit against the wind And those who wait forever For ships that don’t come in. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/38 "2007-07-10T21:31:58Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] “Confusion to the British!” (not sure where I heard that one) [/QUOTE] Reminds me of \*Here’s to the Welsh who pray on their knees (and their neighbors) Here’s to the Scots who keep the Sabbath (and any other damned thing they can get their hands on) Here’s to the Irish who’ll fight to the death to defend their beliefs (even though they don’t know what the hell they believe) And lastly to the English a race of self-made man (thereby acquitting God of blame for them) Salute!\* ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/39 "2007-07-10T21:37:51Z")
Also, Sheridan’s toast from _SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL_ (available in [midi](http://www.contemplator.com/tunebook/england/bashful.htm)) \*Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen Here’s to the widow of fifty Here’s to the flaunting extravagent queen And here’s to the housewife that’s thrifty. Chorus Let the toast pass, drink to the lass I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass Let the toast pass, drink to the lass I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass. Here’s to the charmer whose dimples we prize Now to the maid who has none Here’s to the girl with a pair of blue eyes And here’s to the nymph with but one, Sir. Chorus Here’s to the maid with a bosom of snow Now to her that’s as brown as a berry Here’s to the wife with a face full of woe And here’s to the damsel that’s merry. Chorus\* And for most of the Dope (including myself) I propose this one: _Through the lips and over the gums look out stomach Bush f_cking sucks!\* A cool toasting custom I always liked was when Scots used to propose a toast “To the King!” in mixed company, and then pass their wine glass over their water goblet, a reference to the [King over the Water](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Francis_Edward_Stuart) without saying so. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114/40 "2007-07-10T21:44:47Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] “Bloody war and quick promotion!” - A Royal Navy toast from the long, quiet decades after the Battle of Trafalgar [/QUOTE] The one I heard was, “To bloody battles and sickly summers!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raise-your-glass-great-toasts/411114.md?page=3)