# Raising a Psychopath (blog)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 25, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415 "2010-08-25T16:34:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/1 "2010-08-25T16:34:53Z")
In the thread on famous psychopaths/sociopaths, someone linked to this blog: [Raising a Psychopath](http://raising-a-psychopath.blogspot.com/).
It purports to be a blog about a man, Harry (not his real name), who, with his wife, is raising a boy he adopted from age six, Lucas. No idea if it’s real, but if it is, it’s quite chilling. Not so much because the boy is so psychopathic but because Harry appears to just assume the kid has problems and takes every thing the kid does and uses it as a reason why he must be a psychopath.
Thoughts? Opinions?
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### Author:  [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/2 "2010-08-25T16:45:47Z")
Interesting. A little chilling… and I wonder, like you, if it’s real…
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### Author:  [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/3 "2010-08-25T16:58:43Z")
If it’s not real, this person should be writing a novel. If it is real… God. I feel for them.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/4 "2010-08-25T16:59:43Z")
I’m not getting the fake vibe from it. To me he sounds like he’s just getting to the meat of the situation without explaining every little detail. It’s probably the way a person writes who isn’t being edited. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but there’s nothing in there that’s out of the realm of credibility.
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### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/5 "2010-08-25T17:01:47Z")
Sounds real to me. I can totally see that being the blog of someone raising my ex. If his parents had ever paid enough attention to have a clue, that is.
I especially related to the utter joy of having someone else say “I didn’t see THAT coming.” I really wish there was anyone from his life who would admit to having seen the true person come out. I’d love, just once for someone to say “Yeah, that was pretty disconcerting.”
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/6 "2010-08-25T17:03:28Z")
It just doesn’t sound like the kid had all that many problems until he moved in with this family who basically wrote him off. The way the father says that they adopted this child because they were too busy for an infant–that was really creepy. It’s like they just wanted an accessory for their life and then when the kid showed up and had problems, they were pissed off. I mean, the first thing he mentions that was annoying was the kid saying “Are we there yet” on a long car ride. And there really didn’t seem to be any sense of compassion. You know, this boy has been shuffled from one family to a foster family he loved to an adoptive family and Harry really didn’t seem all that concerned, to me.
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### Author:  [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/7 "2010-08-25T18:55:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> It just doesn’t sound like the kid had all that many problems until he moved in with this family who basically wrote him off.
I don’t know about that. He was already preliminarily diagnosed with RAD at age 5, and had to be taken away from a foster family that originally intended to adopt him because of “the way his behavior strained the family, it was not in his best interest to remain.” (paraphrase)
As for the “are we there yet” I don’t think its creepy to call that behavior annoying. It IS annoying. Like, when my cat used to howl in the car, I felt empathy for the cat, because the cat was disoriented, confused, and anxious, but the yowling was still very, very annoying. The two are not mutually exclusive, and at any rate, the way I read it, it ties in with “Harry”'s realization that Lucas has little sense of time passing.
What the hell do I know, though.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/8 "2010-08-25T19:07:24Z")
I don’t think it’s unbelievable that the kid has problems. Just that the way the father is going through and ascribing the psychopathic label to behavior that’s not all that weird is what creeps me out more. Lucas himself doesn’t seem all that bizarre for someone who came from that background.
Harry just seems like an asshole. Like his reaction to Lucas’s first Christmas with them:
> [@](#):
>
> Christmas morning Lucas he slept in late. What kid does that? When he finally emerged he saw all the presents under the tree, but still didn’t seem overly excited. He said he was afraid Santa wouldn’t know where he lived and we reassured him that Santa can find him anywhere he is.
The kid isn’t excited about Christmas and that’s supposed to be eerie? I seriously doubt he’s had all that many happy Christmases in his life. Expecting him to be all that excited is a bit much.
Also, there’s a lot of weird contradictory stuff…
> [@](#):
>
> The other type of punishment is short but severe. These punishments usually start as a good yelling. When that stops inducing a reaction in him, they grow to include flailing arms in a threatening manner, then to spanking, then to beating. We tried the yelling and the flailing of arms in a threatening manner. But we could clearly see that he was just as immune to this type of punishment as he was to the other type. One day, while I was yelling and flailing, seeing the blank stare in his eyes, it became very clear to me that any escalation on my part would be useless. At that moment I knew that I could go so far as breaking his arms and it would have no effect on his behavior.
>
> My wife and I have never hit Lucas. Not that we didn’t want to, we certainly did. But we knew it would do absolutely no good. If anything, he would simply learn from that and do the same to others. (It was him copying us that led to the break-in that eventually involved the police. I’ll cover that in a later post.)
He says they never hit Lucas but then talk about punishments escalating to beatings. And they were yelling and flailing their limbs at him? They sound kind of frightening parents, to me.
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### Author:  [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/9 "2010-08-25T19:18:43Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> He says they never hit Lucas but then talk about punishments escalating to beatings. And they were yelling and flailing their limbs at him? They sound kind of frightening parents, to me.
No, first he describes two “theories” of punishment. The 'short severe" style would inevitably escalate to beatings. They never got to that point, because they realized it was pointless to escalate, and that negative consequences, in and of themselves, had no effect.
Also, you’re not seeing the reaction as it unfolded, but in hindsight. At the time, they might have thought “oh its just all so new” and thought nothing of it. In hindsight, it fits a pattern.
I’m not trying to stick up for the guy too much, mind you. I think actually he sounds a little low-affect himself, however, I can see compassion fatigue setting in and he also claims some poor verbal development (particularly being a very bad speller) so, I would chalk it up to writing style.
All I know is, Lucas has a bevy of therapists, including a psychiatrist, several behavior modifying therapists, and a psychologists, as well as a _guardian ad litem_ (an independent guardian before the law – someone who solely represents a minor’s interests and is not paid by the parents), all of whom are mandatory reporters, yet Lucas remains in their custody, so… None of those experts believe he is being abused.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/10 "2010-08-25T19:43:44Z")
I read the whole thing, and it does seem fake, and creepy.
As to the Christmas thing, a friend of mine fostered, and eventually adopted, three little boys. At first they were positively terrified of Christmas. Why? A strange man coming into their houses terrified them - their mother used to bring strange boyfriends home all the time and they’d been beaten, ignored, and on one occasion, molested by the boyfriends. My friend had to stay up with them all night on their first Christmas and all of the presents they got were clearly placed there, in front of the kids, by the parents.
You don’t know what things kids correlate together and what will traumatize them.
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/11 "2010-08-25T19:46:12Z")
I don’t understand **Slit** ’s reaction to Harry. I have nothing but sympathy for him. I don’t think it’s creepy that he and his wife wanted a child without the total 24/7 dedication to an infant. I don’t think he was trying to make the kid’s reaction to Christmas seem eerie- just strange. He never said that he beat the child.
I’ve read almost all of it and my heart breaks for him and his wife.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/12 "2010-08-25T19:52:30Z")
Well, it’s just that most of Lucas’s problems don’t seem psychopathic. They seem like normal things for someone who’s been through what Lucas had. Harry looks like he’s just trying to fit behavior that may be disordered into a psychopathic mold. Like when he talks about the kid not having stable romantic relationships–he’s 11! I’d be skeeved if he did have those.
I don’t think the Christmas thing means that much in and of itself but taken together with everything else, I can’t help thinking that Harry just views the kid as some kind of broken object. Like, “Whoa, what kind of a monster doesn’t like Christmas?” Not, “I wonder what his past Christmases were like” or “What was that like growing up for him” but just “What kind of kid sleeps in on Christmas.” It read very sensationalistic to me. In the other threads a lot of people were suggesting some kind of viral ad, though again, it’s done over such a long period of time that that seems a little unlikely.
ETA: **Clockwork Melon** , I thought it was weird that he said they were too busy for a baby and yet they adopted a child who, with such an abusive background, was almost certainly going to have more issues than an infant. I have no idea why they sought out a child instead of a dog or cat instead.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/13 "2010-08-25T19:53:54Z")
If he were being edited, he’d have more stuff explaining the behaviors of Lucas so that the reader can follow better. I think he’s too close to the situation to realize that there might be gaps in his narrative.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/14 "2010-08-25T19:56:53Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> ETA: **Clockwork Melon** , I thought it was weird that he said they were too busy for a baby and yet they adopted a child who, with such an abusive background, was almost certainly going to have more issues than an infant. I have no idea why they sought out a child instead of a dog or cat instead.
I agree. I wonder if the possible problems were glossed over by the social workers, or what. But I see a lot of people who think that all a kid needs is love and a good home, and all will be fixed.
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### Author:  [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/15 "2010-08-25T19:59:05Z")
I agree with \*\*Freudian Slit \*\* that I am wondering about Harry’s mental health a lot more than Lucas’. Case in point, Tiger the stuffed animal being ripped up. Stuffing littering a bedroom turns into an Inquisition that adds more evidence to the Kid is Psychotic Pile. I get the vibe from Harry’s blog that his household is incredibly sexually repressed considering that he expects his son to rape 3 people by 10th grade. But I do admit, it is an interesting read.
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### Author:  [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/16 "2010-08-25T20:02:50Z")
I vote fake. Somebody trying to get a writing gig.
Especially after reading the part where the kid peeked under the bathroom door and then went and bopped the baloney.
I find it very hard to believe that anything can be seen under a bathroom door. At least I have never been able to see anything I could put into the spank bank.
I also think the rest of the writing just seems fake. Like a cheap novel. I don’t buy it.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/17 "2010-08-25T20:10:34Z")
The part where he poked holes in the wall to spy on the babysitter seemed off to me, too. One of the commenters thought so, too–they wanted to know how he managed to do that.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/18 "2010-08-25T20:24:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> A few days later we cleaned up his room again. In those 13 days he was home, with us keeping an eye on him, he still managed to hide several snack wrappers and 6 empty or half-empty cans of soda in his room. I guess the immediate threat of jail wasn’t enough to change his behavior after all.
What the hell? Coke cans and candy wrappers mean a twelve year old is a pyschopath?
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/19 "2010-08-25T20:44:50Z")
He pretty much admits he’s being edited. At one point he says that he is a terrible speller, yet I see no spelling mistakes anywhere in the document. Sure, he could be laboriously checking every word, but with everything else combined, it seems fake and edited.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 26, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415/20 "2010-08-26T00:05:54Z")
> [@The\_Surb](#):
>
> I vote fake. Somebody trying to get a writing gig.
>
> Especially after reading the part where the kid peeked under the bathroom door and then went and bopped the baloney.
It reads a lot like someone who’s read books or watched movies about evil kids. The Bad Seed, Joshua, the Good Son, the Omen, etc., and who thought, “Hey, I’ve read the DSM, I can spin something out of it.”
**Anaamika** , good point. The average blogger has way worse spelling skills and I spot more typos there than I do here. It feels very edited to me.
ETA: It is intriguing as a Rorschach test, though. Some people read it and feel bad for the parents or chilled about Lucas and others read it and think Harry is a creep, and still others that there is no Harry or Lucas.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/raising-a-psychopath-blog/551415.md?page=2)