# Rambling thread in which I complain about my life **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361 "2011-05-18T18:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/41 "2011-05-19T16:59:18Z")
There’s more in common with Oakminster’s post and mine than you care to point out. And that’s the second time you have misrepresented my posts. > [@Hello Again](#): > > gleeful sponger > [@Hello Again](#): > > loser Please refrain from misquoting me. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/42 "2011-05-19T17:20:08Z")
Volunteering is a great starting-off point, because there are tons of opportunities to choose from. It’s a wonderful confidence-builder. He doesn’t have to worry about the crappy job market and facing multiple rejections before getting a positive response. Telling an anxious depressed person to just buck up and do something is less helpful than saying nothing. It reinforces their already-low self-worth. So, Omar, better to say nothing if you have nothing helpful to contribute. If it was as simple as getting off his butt and getting a job, _he’d have done that already_. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/43 "2011-05-19T17:24:27Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > If it was as simple as getting off his butt and getting a job, _he’d have done that already_. Not when you don’t have to. He’s got mom taking care of him. Yes, he feels bad about not having a job, or even searching for a job…but not bad enough for him to care about it…yet. ETA: Besides he never said he was anxious or depressed. Other posters ascribed those feelings to him. He did say he was lazy and didn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/44 "2011-05-19T17:37:23Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Not when you don’t have to. He’s got mom taking care of him. Yes, he feels bad about not having a job, or even searching for a job…but not bad enough for him to care about it…yet. > > ETA: Besides he never said he was anxious or depressed. Other posters ascribed those feelings to him. He did say he was lazy and didn’t care. Exactly, his mommy takes care of him so there is no incentive. I would think pride would kick in, but apparently not. When he said he was lazy and didn’t care, that’s when it became OK to be hard on him. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/45 "2011-05-19T17:40:27Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > PSXer, your lucky you’re not my kid. Your ass would be out on the street. > > I feel sorry for your mom, that she continues to invest in you and you don’t give a shit. You don’t deserve her. > > :mad: This made me laugh, because it’s such a “dad” thing to say. I’m a mom, so I lean toward a more gentle approach, but that’s not to say this kind of wake-up call doesn’t have its place. Maybe this is the thing **PSXer** needed to hear. ---
**Author:** ![ImNotPaulAvery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@ImNotPaulAvery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImNotPaulAvery)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/46 "2011-05-19T17:43:51Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Telling an anxious depressed person to just buck up and do something is less helpful than saying nothing. It reinforces their already-low self-worth. So, Omar, better to say nothing if you have nothing helpful to contribute. If it was as simple as getting off his butt and getting a job, _he’d have done that already_. Not trying to be snarky, but do you have a better idea of what to do? I am genuinely curious. In my case I was feeling so depressed and pathetic about my situation that I was willing to try anything and decided to just go for any job I could find. I’m kind of going through the same thing again right now because I’m underemployed and stuck at home a lot because I don’t have the money to do stuff. Doing nothing is really a vicious cycle that leads to depression and anxiety that is hard to break out of. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/47 "2011-05-19T17:45:52Z")
I really don’t want to join in on a dumpfest, but it took me awhile to remember [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=595767) where even I got a tad annoyed with the op, something I am not proud of. So I will keep my commentary to a minimum, other than to say the advice seems already to have been asked, answered and ignored. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/48 "2011-05-19T17:53:19Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > PSXer, your lucky you’re not my kid. Your ass would be out on the street. > > I feel sorry for your mom, that she continues to invest in you and you don’t give a shit. You don’t deserve her. > > :mad: Well, now that Mr. Little is done his ranting… **PSXer** , apathy is a sign of depression. That age is a tough time in anyone’s life. I know it’s difficult to advocate for yourself when you just feel like hiding and not thinking about anything, but you need to go to a psychologist and work with them and discuss the possibility of depression. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/49 "2011-05-19T18:03:02Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > Well, now that Mr. Little is done his ranting… You do realize that the OP is an admitted troller that finds all of our attention amusing.:dubious: > [@My so-called friend made a Super Bowl party event on facebook but didn't invite me.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/90): > > I don’t want to fix my problems I enjoy getting attention for it on the internet ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/50 "2011-05-19T18:23:01Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You do realize that the OP is an admitted troller that finds all of our attention amusing.:dubious: This kid needs a kick in the ass. Being coddled by his mommy for his “anxiety” and whatever else he claims is wrong is the problem, I’d be willing to bet. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/51 "2011-05-19T18:25:11Z")
OP, I think you should look into a landscaping type position. They’re fairly plentiful in the summer, get you out of the house with kids your own age, and you’ll be getting a ton of exercise so you might lose a bit of weight making you feel better about that. On the other hand if you’d rather just slob around the house like a lump - well, it’s not my house so that’s OK too I guess. At some point I suspect your mom will get tired of your lumpy self and either boot you out, or give you an ultimatum. I’m sure she will be very disappointed if she has to do that. If you don’t want to disappoint your mom, don’t make her do that. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/52 "2011-05-19T18:27:40Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > get you out of the house with kids your own age, I’m pretty sure the OP is in his early 20’s. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/53 "2011-05-19T18:33:04Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I’m pretty sure the OP is in his early 20’s. Yah, yah. I’m an old woman - a 21 year old is a kid (says the 38 year old granny :p) ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/54 "2011-05-19T18:38:13Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Yah, yah. I’m an old woman - a 21 year old is a kid (says the 38 year old granny :p) I think it’s tempting to consider 21 year old kids. But they aren’t. So many young adults are just so maladjusted and completely bereft of social skills, ambition, and pride that we tend to treat them as kids. This just makes the problem worse. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/55 "2011-05-19T19:04:02Z")
Just pick a small goal, and do it without pausing once you start. Get up, get dressed, go to the nearest store, ask for a job application, fill it out, and turn it in. Do not stop once you are started. It’s easier to keep going once you start than to start and stop. It will get easier as you go along. Getting started is the hard part. So don’t make it necessary to get started more than once. Get up, and do it. Tomorrow, it will be a little easier. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/56 "2011-05-19T19:45:10Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > PSXer, your lucky you’re not my kid. Your ass would be out on the street. > > I feel sorry for your mom, that she continues to invest in you and you don’t give a shit. You don’t deserve her. > > :mad: > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Why because I’m blunt? > > I do not believe my comments were insults to the OP. They were direct response to his comment that he just doesn’t care about doing anything with his life while his mother supports him. The OP is not a minor needing support. He’s sponging off his mom’s graciousness and he doesn’t care. > > You may live your life where you get pats on the head for trying, or in the OP’s case, just being there. But in the real world that leaves you in a long entitlement line. > > Would your reaction be different, if the OP were a deadbeat dad, complaining about the court ordered child support he was supposed to pay, but he just couldn’t figure out how to make it work? In similar threads, those posters get regularly called dead beat dads without nary a concern from other posters. Why is this situation different? He’s taking advantage of his mother. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You do realize that the OP is an admitted troller that finds all of our attention amusing.:dubious: > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > This kid needs a kick in the ass. Being coddled by his mommy for his “anxiety” and whatever else he claims is wrong is the problem, I’d be willing to bet. **Omar Little** – I think they’re insults, and since I’m a moderator my opinion trumps yours. If you have a problem with the OP, and especially if you want to call him a troll, take it to the Pit. Your tone isn’t appropriate in MPSIMS. Thanks, **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/57 "2011-05-19T20:01:52Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I think it’s tempting to consider 21 year old kids. But they aren’t. So many young adults are just so maladjusted and completely bereft of social skills, ambition, and pride that we tend to treat them as kids. This just makes the problem worse. I agree. I look at the way kids are being raised, and I think, “This world is going to eat them alive.” I guess one way to avoid that is never going out into the world. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/58 "2011-05-19T20:08:34Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I agree. I look at the way kids are being raised, and I think, “This world is going to eat them alive.” I guess one way to avoid that is never going out into the world. Exactly, it’s the parents fault in all honesty. It’s why we have 30 year old man children who can’t prepare a simple dinner or go to a job interview without having a massive panic attack. Now before I get pitted, I am not talking about people who have legitimate medical disorders. But they are the minority. I remember I was embarrassed when I was still living at home at 22. I moved out at 23 into my own place and never looked back. I felt like I got a late start and was self conscious about it. Now I see “kids” who are way older than I was with no plans to do anything. I guess they don’t have to when they have parents who consider them little precious snowflakes. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/59 "2011-05-19T20:09:36Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **Omar Little** – I think they’re insults, and since I’m a moderator my opinion trumps yours. > > If you have a problem with the OP, and especially if you want to call him a troll, take it to the Pit. Your tone isn’t appropriate in MPSIMS. > > Thanks, > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator Sorry, I will dial it back a notch. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361/60 "2011-05-19T20:14:14Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **Omar Little** – I think they’re insults, and since I’m a moderator my opinion trumps yours. Duly noted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rambling-thread-in-which-i-complain-about-my-life/582361.md?page=4)