# Rampaging pastry cooks (or how to get rid of an ugly couch) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 23, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961 "2006-05-23T21:16:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/1 "2006-05-23T21:16:55Z")
I’ll preface this with the “old couch” story. We had an old couch in the garage. It was ugly, dirty, and old but we kept it in case we wanted to finish our basement & stick and old, ugly couch in it. I got tired of it two weeks ago and hauled it to the curb with a “Free Sleeper Sofa” tag on it. Two days it sat there, with people driving by, until somebody took the pillows from this pillow-back sofa. Not the whole sofa, just the pillows. Now it’s ugly _and_ uncomfortable. I haul it over to where the trash cans are picked up. The garbage man ignores it. Too big, I guess. I check when the next city-sponsored large-item cleanup is scheduled and find that my city is no longer doing them for financial reasons. A call to my trash service says for $50 they’ll haul it off. No thanks. So, this past weekend I chop it up into pieces. I really wish I had a Sawzall for this but I didn’t so I used hand tools, a pocket knife, and brute force. I stacked the chunks by the curb to wait for next trash pickup. So - last night was a night of strangeness. Somebody tried to steal the kids playground-thing we have in our front yard. It’s one of those [Little-Tikes climb & slide things](http://i.walmart.com/i/p/00/05/07/43/47/0005074347516_500X500.jpg). We’ve had it for maybe six years and my youngest rug-rat still gets a lot of mileage out of it. We found it dragged into the street, beside the curb, as if somebody tried to take it and couldn’t fit it in their trunk. Strangely, surrounding it, splattered on the curb, and covering one side, is either cool-whip or cake icing. Spread widely over the road is a bunch of colored sprinkles. Sprinkles? Marauding bakers roaming my neighborhood? Good Humor men gone bad? The notorious Wilton’s gang? They’ve also taken the dead couch pieces. All of them. My flabber- is officially -gasted. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/2 "2006-05-23T21:26:00Z")
Maybe they were having a birthday party and needed a kids’ present and decided to steal it and it smooshed the cake when they tried to load it into their vehicle? Thank you for posting this. I had a crappy day at work and this made me laugh out loud. GT ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/3 "2006-05-23T22:31:51Z")
My friend, I fear you have been the victim of the feared Tasty-Cake Gang. It truly is incredible that you’re still alive. The ruthless gang is being tracked all through the nation, causing destruction, death, theft, and dessert toppings. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/4 "2006-05-23T22:43:42Z")
I … whu… How truly bizarre. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I can imagine any teenager with their very first apartment that they furnish with those giant spools for coffee tables and bricks for entertainment centers taking the couch, but… SPRINKLES??? It’s like having your front yard invaded by Rip Taylor. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/5 "2006-05-23T23:58:12Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > SPRINKLES??? It’s like having your front yard invaded by Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor can invade _my_ “front yard” any time! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/6 "2006-05-24T01:43:29Z")
:dubious: Are we talking about the same guy, here? Over-the-top blond wig, [throws confetti a lot](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4051/Events/4051/RipTaylor_Grani_7030031_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Taylor,%20Rip), Hollywood Squares staple? Or could you possibly mean [Rip Torn](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0120912/Ss/0120912/MIBII-F7.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Torn,%20Rip)? ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/7 "2006-05-24T06:54:17Z")
Please let it not be Rip Taylor… > **[Latest Stills - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/gallery/rg1859820288?path=pgallery&path_key=Taylor,%20Rip&seq=14)** > > IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more... ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rampaging-pastry-cooks-or-how-to-get-rid-of-an-ugly-couch/357961/8 "2006-05-24T12:27:27Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > :dubious: > Are we talking about the same guy, here? Over-the-top blond wig, [throws confetti a lot](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4051/Events/4051/RipTaylor_Grani_7030031_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Taylor,%20Rip), Hollywood Squares staple? > > Or could you possibly mean [Rip Torn](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0120912/Ss/0120912/MIBII-F7.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Torn,%20Rip)? Well, her name _is_ **The Weird One.**