# Rand Paul is an infected anal fissure **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2021, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928 "2021-07-21T00:00:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2022, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/81 "2022-01-14T21:03:30Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > And with his guns and ammo he will help get the society back to normal. This sounds like someone with a really pathetic life who is desperate for things to be different and to do something meaningful with his life. To the extent that he longs for mass death and violence so that he can step up and become a person he’s not ashamed of being. He’ll swallow any lie that tells him that it can happen. Look at any conspiracy theorist and you’ll find an absolutely miserable human being begging for a different reality. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/82 "2022-01-15T13:11:16Z")
I’m going to report this thread for a title change. It makes me want to puke. I would ask the OP to do it, but he is banned. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/83 "2022-01-15T13:22:54Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > I’m going to report this thread for a title change. It makes me want to puke. I would ask the OP to do it, but he is banned. - Why? There’s no way to avoid Rand Paul’s name. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/84 "2022-01-15T14:25:40Z")
Haha! Nice! ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/85 "2022-01-15T15:15:41Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > So liberal leaders are tricking liberal followers into getting themselves eliminated? Even more Republican projection? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/86 "2022-01-15T15:57:03Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > I’m going to report this thread for a title change. It makes me want to puke. I would ask the OP to do it, but he is banned. Pardon the derail, but an OP can do that at this late a stage in the game? ETA - Or then again could have been just joshin to state a point. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/87 "2022-01-15T16:12:51Z")
I’m confused about why the Fauci-Gates-Pharma Axis would want to depopulate America, but even more puzzled about why this prospect upsets the Covid crazies, given that they’re simultaneously convinced that Democrats will die off in disproportionate numbers, handing over control of the country to them. Maybe they’re secretly worried that without access to health professionals, their emergency supplies of ivermectin, colloidal silver and industrial bleach\* won’t be enough to handle all medical emergencies. \*a.k.a. “Miracle Mineral Solution”. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/88 "2022-01-15T17:37:26Z")
His dad and aunt are having heart problems because of the vaccine!! The fact, that they’re well into their 60s has nothing to do with it.🤔 ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/89 "2022-01-15T17:43:56Z")
The vaccine turned me into a newt! A newt? (pause) I got better. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/90 "2022-01-15T18:36:34Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > Even more Republican projection? With every projection, they get two free mugs of “flat beer” that smell suspiciously like Ammonia… ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/91 "2022-01-15T20:51:14Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > I’m going to report this thread for a title change. It makes me want to puke. I would ask the OP to do it, but he is banned. Would it help your nausea if the thread title was changed to _ **Kentucky Senator is an Infected Anal Fissure?** _ ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/92 "2022-01-15T21:20:03Z")
One, the other, or both? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/93 "2022-01-15T22:20:46Z")
“Rand Paul wears a prolapsed rectum as a hat” ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2022, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/94 "2022-01-15T22:38:21Z")
( Hey, it explains is hair… ) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/95 "2022-01-16T03:12:09Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > “Rand Paul wears a prolapsed rectum as a hat” That may just be his infected prolapsed brain. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/96 "2022-01-16T13:39:43Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Pardon the derail, but an OP can do that at this late a stage in the game? The OP can always ask for a thread name change, although it may not happen. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Would it help your nausea if the thread title was changed to _ **Kentucky Senator is an Infected Anal Fissure?** _ This is pretty funny. Puke inducing, but well done! ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/97 "2022-01-16T14:03:30Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Would it help your nausea if the thread title was changed to _ **Kentucky Senator is an Infected Anal Fissure?** _ And it works no matter which senator you mean! Although, I guess turtle’s don’t have an anus, but colloquially the cloaca could be referred to as such. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/98 "2022-01-16T14:03:32Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > This is pretty funny. Puke inducing, but well done! Hey, Kentucky’s not _that_ bad. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/99 "2022-01-16T15:37:57Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > And it works no matter which senator you mean! Although, I guess turtle’s don’t have an anus, but colloquially the cloaca could be referred to as such. I think this needs a jingle: ♫ Turtle Ass is the “Q” cloaca… Turtle Ass! ♫ ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928/100 "2022-01-16T16:41:19Z")
Kentucky Fried Cyst [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-paul-is-an-infected-anal-fissure/946928.md?page=4)