# Rand Rover's a non-tipping, SUV-driving, Republican, picky-eater fatty who hovers over toilet seats **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 12, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259 "2010-03-12T17:06:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/181 "2010-03-17T01:19:55Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Wow. I get a trophy, or just a t-shirt? Nope. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/182 "2010-03-17T01:41:29Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Hey MOL, I got a bottle of Elijah Craig, and it’s pretty tasty! I don’t like the cork though–it’s all big and floppy and holey, and makes me think it may break off at some point (guess I better drink it fast). See, **luci** , even the smuggest among us have some good inside inside of them. That good for young **Rand** is called Elijah Craig. ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/183 "2010-03-17T02:14:29Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > Now **Rand** , you are not supposed to wish death on other posters. > > 😃 He (in his own closed mind) has nothing better to wish upon himself. Can I help? It’s the EXISTENTIAL DILEMMA. ADRIFT ALONE IN A UNIVERSE TOO BIG TO CALL MY OWN, I THINK IT’S OUTSIDE; IT OFFENDS MY PRIDE TO REALIZE MY LIFE IS JUST ON LOAN. ADRIFT ON A WORLD IN THE UNIVERSE, TOO BIG TO CALL MY HOME. I’M FRIGHTENED INSIDE THAT I’M STUCK WITH NO RIDE WITH A HUNDRED BILLION LIGHT YEARS TO ROAM. ADRIFT ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE, BOUND IN MY TRYING TO BE FREE, I DON’T HAVE A PLAN, I CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT FREEDOM IS SIMPLY TO BE ADRIFT ON A WORLD IN A UNIVERSE WITH BILLIONS JUST LIKE ME. WHO WILL I HELP? WHO WILL I HURT? AND WHO WILL I PRETEND NOT TO SEE? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/184 "2010-03-17T02:27:38Z")
Well then. Just when this thread had a sudden shortage of crazy . . . OH WAIT. I MEANT: JUST WHEN THIS THREAD HAD A SUDDEN SHORTAGE OF CRAZY DOT DOT DOT ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/185 "2010-03-17T05:32:04Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > See, **luci** , even the smuggest among us have some good inside inside of them. That good for young **Rand** is called Elijah Craig. Well, so do we, but next time he takes a pee, his is gone. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/186 "2010-03-17T13:24:20Z")
> [@leander](#): > > > [@elucidator](#): > > > > Kinda miss **december** , no one could mangle the limerick form with such enthusiasm. > > True, and he was really a very polite guy. So was the dentist in _Marathon Man_. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/187 "2010-03-17T13:56:58Z")
> [@Mr\_Smashy](#): > > intelligent people tend to agree, true. So do idiots, unfortunately - hence the Usual Suspects piling on. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/188 "2010-03-17T14:23:24Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > “Be cautious! The waiter has peed in your drink!” Personally, I prefer to translate it as, “Watch out! I pissed on the floor!” > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > OK, SFG, you are telling me that a flour tortilla filled with chicken and rolled with open ends covered in sour cream sauce on a plate between rice and refried beans is not an enchilada? That’s apparently [an _enchilada suiza_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enchilada#Varieties). \*\*Not \*\*a straight-up enchilada. The defining element of this dish is _the sauce it’s topped with_, not the ingredients. (Or what it’s served with. I could stick a taco between rice and beans and it wouldn’t turn into a fucking enchilada.) Otherwise I could dump anything on top of anything and call it a fucking enchilada. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/189 "2010-03-17T14:35:15Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > You emit beams of smug asshole with every word you write. [Obscure Mary McCarthy/Lillian Hellman Reference:] Does that include ‘and’ and ‘the’? [/Obscure Mary McCarthy/Lillian Hellman Reference] ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/190 "2010-03-17T16:36:33Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > So do idiots, unfortunately - hence the Usual Suspects piling on. Where would we be without those daring few freethinkers willing to oppose the herd… like that shadowy fifth dentist who recommends not sugar-free gum, but peanut brittle? N.B. One more “dentist” post and I’m entitled to a free whitening. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/191 "2010-03-17T17:45:32Z")
SFG, you have more issues than a dentist’s waiting room (trying to help you out, VT). If someone puts cheese on a hamburger, then it’s called a cheeseburger, but it’s still a fucking hamburger with fucking cheese. Same goes for enchiladas and enchiladas suiza. Look, why are you even doing this? I know you are mad that I’m happily married and so we can never actually be together, and I know you want to maintain the outward appearance of RR hate so you can be one of the cool kids, but engaging in enchilada sophistry is not the way to deal with your emotions. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/192 "2010-03-17T17:56:45Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > So do idiots, unfortunately - hence the Usual Suspects piling on. > > Regards, > Shodan Referring to yourself in the third person. Looks like somebody’s broadening his grammatical horizons. Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/193 "2010-03-17T20:04:48Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > If someone puts cheese on a hamburger, then it’s called a cheeseburger, but it’s still a fucking hamburger with fucking cheese. Same goes for enchiladas and enchiladas suiza. Wrong. The defining element of the hamburger is… wait for it… _the patty_. \*\*Not \*\*the toppings. If the patty is not made of beef, you don’t just call it a hamburger; you qualify it somehow. So if the burger is made of, for example, ground turkey, you don’t call it a fucking hamburger. You call it a turkey burger. And so, an enchilada made with a cream sauce is not a fucking enchilada, it’s an enchilada suiza; just like a hamburger made with ground turkey is not a hamburger, but a turkey burger. Get it now? > [@](#): > > Look, why are you even doing this? Because you’re a fucking retard and I enjoy proving you wrong. Nice attempt to pass your crush off on me, by the way. By all means, please keep talking–I want to see you look like even more of a pathetic creeper. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/194 "2010-03-17T21:39:20Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Nice attempt to pass your crush off on me, by the way. I will admit to the beginnings of a proto-crush that kinda started a little when reading your Hey Fatties OP and was helped a bit by looking at your pic on my blackberry. However, following that, the proto-crush never fully blossomed due to (1) your bizarre attitude about enchiladas and incessant sophistry regarding same, (2) the fact that I later looked at your picture on my computer and noticed various details that were not apparent on my blackberry viewing, and (3) the fact that you are almost as tall as me (RR’s gotta snuggle, and that’s not so nice with some big-ass Amazon woman). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/195 "2010-03-17T21:59:52Z")
Back to the teddy bear, eh, **Randy**? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/196 "2010-03-17T22:32:30Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Wrong. The defining element of the hamburger is… wait for it… _the patty_. \*\*Not \*\*the toppings. If the patty is not made of beef, you don’t just call it a hamburger; you qualify it somehow. So if the burger is made of, for example, ground turkey, you don’t call it a fucking hamburger. You call it a turkey burger. > > And so, an enchilada made with a cream sauce is not a fucking enchilada, it’s an enchilada suiza; just like a hamburger made with ground turkey is not a hamburger, but a turkey burger. I don’t know about you, but I call turkey burgers and veggie burgers an abomination. :eek: As for the enchilada vs suiza, I never knew there was such a fine distinction. Ignorance has been fought. It still sounds yummy, regardless. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/197 "2010-03-18T00:36:31Z")
SteveG1, your ignorance is actually fighting back. Enchiladas suiza is just a preparation of enchiladas, not some whole other thing. Don’t let Six Foot Gross-ass convince you otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/198 "2010-03-18T01:50:36Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > SteveG1, your ignorance is actually fighting back. Enchiladas suiza is just a preparation of enchiladas, not some whole other thing. Don’t let Six Foot Gross-ass convince you otherwise. It still sounds delicious. Om nom nom. Can I just grunt and point? JUST GIMME! NOW! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/199 "2010-03-18T12:02:41Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I will admit to the beginnings of a proto-crush that kinda started a little when reading your Hey Fatties OP and was helped a bit by looking at your pic on my blackberry. > > However, following that, the proto-crush never fully blossomed due to (1) your bizarre attitude about enchiladas and incessant sophistry regarding same, (2) the fact that I later looked at your picture on my computer and noticed various details that were not apparent on my blackberry viewing, and (3) the fact that you are almost as tall as me (RR’s gotta snuggle, and that’s not so nice with some big-ass Amazon woman). Allow me to translate: I think you’re cute, but now that you’ve been mean to me, I’m going to pretend like I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259/200 "2010-03-18T12:27:14Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I will admit to the beginnings of a proto-crush that kinda started a little when reading your Hey Fatties OP and was helped a bit by looking at your pic on my blackberry. > > However, following that, the proto-crush never fully blossomed due to (1) your bizarre attitude about enchiladas and incessant sophistry regarding same, (2) the fact that I later looked at your picture on my computer and noticed various details that were not apparent on my blackberry viewing, and (3) the fact that you are almost as tall as me (RR’s gotta snuggle, and that’s not so nice with some big-ass Amazon woman). Creepy dude is creepy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rand-rovers-a-non-tipping-suv-driving-republican-picky-eater-fatty-who-hovers-over-toilet-seats/532259.md?page=11)