# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/1 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")
Here we go again… this time with _The Big Bang Theory._ Leonard, please don’t take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag coefficient of tassels on flying carpets. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/2 "2016-12-20T02:15:58Z")
Do you realize what this MEANS?!! All I need is a healthy ovum, and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/3 "2016-12-20T02:17:03Z")
I informed you thusly. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/4 "2016-12-20T03:43:05Z")
It’s very simple. Look – Scissors cuts Paper, Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard. Lizard eats Paper, Paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, Rock crushes Scissors. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/5 "2016-12-20T05:07:34Z")
[knock] [knock] [knock] **panache?** [knock] [knock] [knock] **panache?** [knock] [knock] [knock] **panache?** ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/6 "2016-12-20T06:02:51Z")
Sheldon’s escaped and is terrorizing the village ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/7 "2016-12-20T12:22:19Z")
Sheldon can I talk to you? Why me? Koothrappali has to drink to talk to me, Wolowitz is just creepy. Yes he is, Ok. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/8 "2016-12-20T13:06:38Z")
If either of us invent time travel, we agree that our first stop will be this meeting, five seconds from now. [both look around] Well, that was disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/9 "2016-12-20T13:24:35Z")
Bazinga! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/10 "2016-12-20T13:54:25Z")
I’m not crazy; my mother had me tested. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/11 "2016-12-20T14:18:46Z")
You better find my husband’s mother, 'cause one way or another we’re walking out of this airport with a dead woman. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/12 "2016-12-20T14:26:55Z")
That’s exactly what my father said. “Come to the games! Watch the games!” Week in and week out, from the time I was five until I went off to college. Longest seven years of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/13 "2016-12-20T14:36:06Z")
“I’m sorry, we don’t have a code for robot’s hand grasping a man’s penis.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/14 "2016-12-20T15:26:31Z")
What exactly does that expression mean, “friends with benefits”? Does he provide her with health insurance? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/15 "2016-12-20T19:47:30Z")
You may want to speak in a lower register. Wow. I enjoyed that more than I thought I would. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/16 "2016-12-20T23:01:48Z")
_ **Please pass the butter!** _ ---
**Author:** ![RedSwinglineOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RedSwinglineOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedSwinglineOne)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/17 "2016-12-20T23:17:49Z")
Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I’m afraid you couldn’t be more wrong. Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation. Stuart: Of course it is. It’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/18 "2016-12-21T00:34:37Z")
Sheldon: “The best number is 73. Why? 73 is the 21st prime number. Its mirror, 37, is the 12th and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying 7 and 3… and in binary 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001.” Leonard: “73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers!” Sheldon: “Chuck Norris wishes… all Chuck Norris backwards gets you is Sirron Kcuhc!”’ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/19 "2016-12-21T00:52:59Z")
You know, both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one’s mother can stem from a pathological fear of women. It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/20 "2016-12-21T14:08:04Z")
Okay, now I just need to make sure I have a Lalita before I meet the grasshopper. It’s a sweet green miracle. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=2)