# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/221 "2017-02-05T07:43:11Z")
**Priya:** Leonard, wake up. **Leonard:** Huh? Huh, jus’, sorry. **Priya:** What for? **Leonard:** I don’t know. When I’m in bed with a girl, that’s just my go-to response. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/222 "2017-02-07T09:58:14Z")
I’m just gonna call my Mother, that’s just what little Matzah Balls do ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/223 "2017-02-07T10:32:42Z")
**Amy:** So anyway to make a long story short, turns out I have an unusually firm cervix. **Penny:** You know, Amy, when we say girl talk, that just doesn’t have to be about our lady parts. **Amy:** Shame, cause I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/224 "2017-02-07T16:02:32Z")
Any chance his car needs to be washed by a girl in a bikini ? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/225 "2017-02-07T18:58:01Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > (One of Kumar’s absolutely best scenes) umm, _Do you actually believe that after the way you’ve just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?_ No. I’m gonna be honest with you. The only reason I’m applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don’t have a desire to go to med school. _But you have perfect MCAT scores!_ Yeah, just cause you’re hung like a moose doesn’t mean you gotta do porn. I think **Kumar** is not in _Big Bang Theory_ ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/226 "2017-02-08T00:07:44Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > **Raj** : But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days – the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I’ll still be the guy who got a girl _after Sheldon Cooper!_ And that’s how a girl makes a scene. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/227 "2017-02-08T00:09:26Z")
**Mary Cooper** : The Lord never gives you more than you can handle, and fortunately, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/228 "2017-02-08T03:59:16Z")
Have you guys been watching the reruns on TV? I don’t know if they run the reruns daily in your area but they run two a night in mine. And they’ve had commercials for the new LEGO Batman movie Big Bang Theory crossover but they have the apartment and all the gang as LEGO. It’s pretty neat. I first noticed it yesterday. **Batman:** (talking about Sheldon.) You are a Saint for putting up with him. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/229 "2017-02-08T08:32:18Z")
**Leonard:** You’ll never guess what just happened! **Sheldon:** You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you’re back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins? **Leonard:** No. Penny kissed me. **Sheldon:** Well, who would ever guess that? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/230 "2017-02-08T15:03:24Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I think **Kumar** is not in _Big Bang Theory_ My apologies to **Kunal Nayyar** ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/231 "2017-02-08T20:41:16Z")
Schrodinger’s Cat. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/232 "2017-02-09T00:39:28Z")
**Howard** : When you’re in a public restroom, when foot do you flush the toilet with? **Sheldon** : (_After thinking a minute_) Right, always right. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/233 "2017-02-09T03:08:54Z")
**Zack:** You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it’ll just come back to life. **Sheldon:** Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/234 "2017-02-09T18:33:27Z")
Penny is getting up to go tell Sheldon to stop playing the same couple of measures of music over and over again in the middle of the night when he is trying to figure out his earworm. There was a brief argument with Leonard over whose turn it was to deal with Sheldon this time. This follows: **Leonard** : (_sing-songy_) I love you. **Penny** : Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/235 "2017-02-09T22:26:00Z")
**Penny:** Hey, you guys ready to order? **Sheldon:** Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00 and order the same exact thing, and it’s now…[_checks his watch_] 6:08, I believe your question not only answers itself, but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as “Who Let the Dogs Out?” and, uh… “How are they hanging?” **Penny:** [_writing_] Okay, so the usual with extra spit on Sheldon’s hamburger. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/236 "2017-02-10T01:47:55Z")
Sheldon: Maybe I don’t give your MIT education enough credit Howard: I saw it on Myth Busters ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/237 "2017-02-10T05:44:27Z")
Again, _Read_ – _the Book_ – _We gave you_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/238 "2017-02-10T06:12:25Z")
**Leonard:** I found another Tweet from a student at Sheldon’s lecture: [_from his phone_] “Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/239 "2017-02-10T16:32:49Z")
KMN. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/240 "2017-02-10T16:49:04Z")
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