# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2017, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/241 "2017-02-11T02:51:41Z")
Mom smokes in the car; Jesus is OK with it, but we can’t tell Dad. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/242 "2017-02-11T02:57:41Z")
BTW, haircut records do exist. The place my son gets his hair cut can look up what guard they typically use on his hair if he gets a barber he’s never had before. They look it up in a computer. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2017, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/243 "2017-02-11T11:41:14Z")
**Penny:** Hey, Leonard, is your Wi-Fi down? I can’t get on. **Leonard:** Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It’s now “Penny is a freeloader”… no spaces. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2017, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/244 "2017-02-13T04:49:55Z")
Trent Monocle ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2017, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/245 "2017-02-13T06:49:01Z")
_You are my heart My universe You are my heart My universe_ Dance number aside, I am _so_ not gay. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/246 "2017-02-13T10:22:29Z")
God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/247 "2017-02-13T16:44:55Z")
Oh, Bernadette, Please play my clarinet! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/248 "2017-02-14T00:40:27Z")
Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/249 "2017-02-15T00:38:41Z")
\*Someone insults \*Star Trek. **Wil Wheaton** : Yeah, “Live long and suck it!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/250 "2017-02-15T01:49:47Z")
**Penny:** Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl? **Sheldon:** Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X’s and O’s. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/251 "2017-02-15T14:21:38Z")
**Sheldon** : I so loathe you. **Wil** : That’s right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side. **Sheldon** : That’s not even from your franchise! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/252 "2017-02-15T14:57:24Z")
**Priya** : Sheldon’s a bit quirky, isn’t he? **Howard** : Oh please, that crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rearview mirror. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2017, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/253 "2017-02-16T14:13:14Z")
Unless Leonard signs the new roommate agreement in the next… [_checks timer_] 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you’re in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/254 "2017-02-17T00:25:59Z")
_There once was a brave lad named Leonard With a fie-fie-fiddle-dee-dee He fought a fearsome giant While Raj just wanted to pee_ ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/255 "2017-02-17T01:26:31Z")
Why is it never Angie Dickinson’s bedroom? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/256 "2017-02-17T08:51:57Z")
You may have gone to Cambridge, but I’m an honorary graduate of Star-Fleet Academy. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2017, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/257 "2017-02-20T13:21:17Z")
Amy did soften my life, she’s like the dryer sheets to my heart Leonard to Penny: Am I the dryer sheets to your heart? Your the lint trap of my love ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2017, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/258 "2017-02-21T09:32:52Z")
Oh, word of advice, do not doze off, you’ll never hear the end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/259 "2017-02-22T09:05:25Z")
My Mother praying for forgiveness when she puts glass chips in my Father’s meatloaf. And my Father skeet shooting Mother’s collectible plates ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/260 "2017-02-22T11:39:23Z")
[_Bernadette has just been yelling at Howard, just like his mother_] **Howard:** [_to Leonard and Raj_] Is it just me or does she sound sexy when she’s angry? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=14)