# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/261 "2017-02-22T20:58:57Z")
Leonard: You don’t go into science for the money. Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/262 "2017-02-22T21:27:23Z")
> [@Brooky](#): > > My Mother praying for forgiveness when she puts glass chips in my Father’s meatloaf. > And my Father skeet shooting Mother’s collectible plates I think the first part of that went something more like “My mother saying that Jesus would forgive her if she put ground glass in my father’s meatloaf,” and the second part specifically mentioned that they were Franklin Mint collectible plates. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/263 "2017-02-22T21:52:10Z")
**Sheldon:** I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her PhD. **Amy:** It’s indeed admirable. Although, it is microbiology. **Sheldon:** Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction. **Amy:** I’ll make it simple for you. I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Lite. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/264 "2017-02-23T02:22:38Z")
“Gotcher back, Jack: bitches be crazy.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/265 "2017-02-23T05:03:32Z")
Geology isn’t a real science! ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2017, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/266 "2017-02-26T04:37:18Z")
I’m changing everything that depresses me, try not to be one of those things ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2017, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/267 "2017-02-26T04:51:36Z")
You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/268 "2017-02-27T10:26:45Z")
It’s official I’m a H.O. Train~E~ak ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/269 "2017-02-27T10:35:47Z")
**Amy:** Kiss me where I’ve never been kissed before. **Sheldon:** … You mean like Salt Lake City? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/270 "2017-02-27T10:58:10Z")
“Hokie Pokie” is a young man’s game ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/271 "2017-02-27T11:35:59Z")
**Sheldon:** The Koothrappalis aren’t just rich. They are Richie Rich rich. **Penny:** Well, so how much is that? **Sheldon:** About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/272 "2017-03-02T00:50:21Z")
In the morning I’ll send him an E-Mail letting him know… this body is never gonna be his wonderland ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/273 "2017-03-02T12:23:53Z")
**Zack:** You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it’ll just come back to life. **Sheldon:** Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/274 "2017-03-03T03:05:10Z")
Flag! Flag! Not a flag! Flag! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/275 "2017-03-03T06:15:34Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Flag! Flag! Not a flag! Flag! Or: “Fwag! Fwag! Not a fwag! Fwag!” You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept “Don’t piss off the people who handle the things you eat”. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/276 "2017-03-03T23:53:55Z")
“Damn you Chaplain Horrigan! The Philippines, 1992. The Subic Bay Naval Station; a young boy on the cusp of manhood; his only companions mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving god, but who instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat! What choice did he have but to drink, shoot, and snort his pain away!” “Don’t forget his genetic predisposition toward addiction.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/277 "2017-03-04T03:25:44Z")
**Howard:** How do vampires shave when they can’t see themselves in the mirror? **Sheldon:** Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/278 "2017-03-04T10:37:37Z")
_Pride & Prejudice_ is a flawless masterpiece. He’s got too much pride, she’s got too much prejudice-- it just works. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/279 "2017-03-04T11:19:23Z")
I have to feel sorry for myself, I’m the only one who cares ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/280 "2017-03-04T11:37:56Z")
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