# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/281 "2017-03-04T12:05:36Z")
Who would have thought, Fuzzy Finger’s Fowler’s best friend’s with a bully! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/282 "2017-03-05T00:10:50Z")
**Mrs. Wolowitz:** God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases! **Howard:** Nobody has a disease! **Mrs. Wolowitz:** I hope not! I share a toilet with you! Is that what you want!? To give your mother herpies!? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/283 "2017-03-05T00:29:44Z")
**Penny** : I don’t know what a “succubus” is, but it has “suck” in it, so it can’t be good. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/284 "2017-03-05T00:37:43Z")
Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/285 "2017-03-06T10:50:45Z")
It’s hard to say no to “YooHoo” the name literally beckons ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/286 "2017-03-07T03:02:44Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage. And when they’re drunk what do you offer them? Coffee. And what do you offer it with? (_Sheldon assumes slightly creepy, maniacal grin_) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/287 "2017-03-07T03:38:57Z")
I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen. You went out and bought linen? Don’t be silly. I borrowed one of your pillowcases. Borrowed? _ **Borrowed?** _ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/288 "2017-03-07T04:25:40Z")
On Thursdays, everybody comes over here and has pizza… or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi, but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/289 "2017-03-07T11:13:57Z")
Wow 3 dates is Sex…who knew! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/290 "2017-03-07T11:20:31Z")
**Penny:** I spent two years trying to get Leonard to even go to the beach in the first place. He was so phobic about stepping on medical waste I’d carry him to the water. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/291 "2017-03-07T14:59:49Z")
Sheldon: Fine, what do you want me to do? Leonard: Smile. (He does, exaggeratedly.) Howard: Oh crap, that’s terrifying. Leonard: We’re here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/292 "2017-03-07T17:32:50Z")
Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse. In other news, I’m thinking of starting an herb garden. Mum’s the word. Gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2017, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/293 "2017-03-09T05:37:29Z")
How old are they? Oh 50-55 Great menopause, nature’s birth-control ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2017, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/294 "2017-03-09T10:15:55Z")
**Penny:** Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl? **Sheldon:** Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X’s and O’s. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2017, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/295 "2017-03-09T14:29:57Z")
And I don’t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/296 "2017-03-09T15:19:59Z")
Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary and, based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity. Penny: Oh, God. Sheldon: Yes, exactly. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/297 "2017-03-10T04:10:14Z")
Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next…[_checks timer_] 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you’re in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/298 "2017-03-10T07:34:22Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Who’s there?! Are you a sex criminal?! No one wants to do that to you, ma! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/299 "2017-03-10T09:17:22Z")
**Sheldon:** You’ve already signed something for me, Brent Spiner—your name on my list. From this moment on you are my mortal enemy! **Wil Wheaton:** Don’t worry, it doesn’t take up a whole lotta your time. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/300 "2017-03-11T15:26:17Z")
I must say ever since you’ve been having intercourse, your mind is loosing it’s sharpened edge [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=16)