# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/301 "2017-03-11T19:02:53Z")
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs? Leonard: Not really! Sheldon: If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip. Leonard: I don’t care. 2 millime–? That doesn’t seem right. Sheldon: It’s true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. My father broke his clavicle. Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school? Sheldon: No. That was the result of my work with lasers. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/302 "2017-03-11T21:22:07Z")
Romance Ninja!! Let’s have SEX~ ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/303 "2017-03-11T21:25:36Z")
_Do you guys ever use toys?_ Toys? I have a model rocket next to my bed. _A wocket? You’re a fweak. I wuv it!_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/304 "2017-03-11T21:49:31Z")
[_after scaring Sheldon with a Halloween prank_] **Howard:** I thought he would faint. **Raj:** I thought he would pee himself. **Leonard:** Looks like everyone’s a winner! ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/305 "2017-03-13T23:34:04Z")
Don’t ya wanna know how I figured it out? No one likes a know it all Penny ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/306 "2017-03-14T00:05:35Z")
If cats could sing, they’d hate it too. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/307 "2017-03-14T02:35:42Z")
Did you tell her half your porno’s are animated? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/308 "2017-03-14T05:43:16Z")
You’re not the first girls I thought were friends with me who ended up shunning me. It’s like elementary school, junior high, high school, undergrad, grad school, and that semester abroad in Norway all over again. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/309 "2017-03-14T19:26:54Z")
The answer by the way? JUNE! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/310 "2017-03-14T19:53:58Z")
**Sheldon:** I got a splinter. **Amy:** What do you want me to do about it? **Sheldon:** Relationship agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and ouchies. You have to take care of it. **Amy:** I should’ve gotten a lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/311 "2017-03-14T22:55:15Z")
Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like a man? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/312 "2017-03-15T01:32:10Z")
Congratulations Dr. Fowler, you just made the Fort! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/313 "2017-03-15T03:42:34Z")
Leonard: Is this the high-IQ sperm bank? Althea: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn’t be here. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/314 "2017-03-15T10:13:37Z")
**Sheldon:** The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent. No offense, Stuart. **Stuart:** None taken. Though repellent…is kind of…kind of a strong word. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/315 "2017-03-15T11:08:28Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/316 "2017-03-15T13:54:48Z")
Sheldon: Leonard, I don’t think I can do this. Leonard: What are you, kidding? You’re a semi-pro. Sheldon: No, we are committing genetic fraud. There’s no guarantee that our sperm’s going to generate high-IQ offspring. Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/317 "2017-03-15T17:08:18Z")
I help the weak. It’s yet another way I’m exactly like Batman. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/318 "2017-03-15T22:45:46Z")
Sheldon: (_holding his crotch_) Missy can date whoever she wants. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/319 "2017-03-15T22:48:46Z")
Stuart and Raj have just put dating profiles online: Raj: “Jenny309 [is reading his profile].” I hope that’s not her weight. Stuart: If it is, I’ll-I’ll take her. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/320 "2017-03-15T23:10:22Z")
Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparent manip… Ohhhhhh, it’s a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=17)