# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/321 "2017-03-16T00:36:46Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparent manip… Ohhhhhh, it’s a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Penny; You look beautiful! Amy: Of course I do! I’m a princess and this is my tiara! (_kisses Sheldon_) Sheldon: (\*mouthes, with sarcastic headshake \*) Tiara was too much. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/322 "2017-03-16T09:00:15Z")
**Sheldon:** I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellows have wood? [_Raj and Howard chuckle_] **Sheldon:** I don’t understand the laughter. The object of “Settlers of Catan” is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?.. **Sheldon:** Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood? [_Raj and Howard snicker_] **Sheldon:** Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/323 "2017-03-16T14:04:44Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparent manip… Ohhhhhh, it’s a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Her shrill voice once she sees the gift is what makes that a classic moment. Sheldon: I don’t know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the population of this car goes you’re a veritable mack daddy. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/324 "2017-03-16T14:18:58Z")
The woman at the wall store said it was going on sale… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/325 "2017-03-16T15:01:57Z")
Penny: I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know. Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality. Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/326 "2017-03-16T22:31:36Z")
**Leonard:** So, uh, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with? **Penny:** Oh, that’s a good question. How about “awkward”? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/327 "2017-03-18T08:33:04Z")
I’m telling you Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/328 "2017-03-18T10:19:27Z")
After four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I’ve done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above the bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/329 "2017-03-18T14:50:09Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > After four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I’ve done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above the bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true! [hijack]The first time she said this, I wasn’t sure whether she did _The Diary of Anne Frank_ in a theater over a bowling alley, or whether there was supposed to be some kind of play in TBBT universe called _Anne Frank above a Bowling Alley_. I had a good time imagining what _Anne Frank above a Bowling Alley_ must have been like.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/330 "2017-03-19T06:28:54Z")
Ready for Bowling tonight? Ya, I even got some trash talk~~ “You Bowl like your Mother” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/331 "2017-03-19T08:56:48Z")
**Leonard:** Sex with you is pretty great. Have you ever tried it? **Penny:** I have. You are… not wrong. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/332 "2017-03-20T07:37:04Z")
> [@Brooky](#): > > Ready for Bowling tonight? > > Ya, I even got some trash talk~~ “You Bowl like your Mother” … _unless, of course, she bowls well, in which case, you bowl nothing like her_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/333 "2017-03-20T08:45:39Z")
**Barry:** You got SIWI, huh? The voice wecognition on that thing is tewwible. Wook. [_To SIRI_] SIWI, can you wecommend a westewaunt? **SIRI:** I’m sorry, Bawwy. I don’t understand “wecommend a westewaunt.” **Barry:** Wisten to me. Not westewaunt, “westewaunt.” **SIRI:** I don’t know what you mean by “not westewaunt, ‘westewaunt.’” **Barry:** See, totaw cwap. You suck, SIWI. **Raj:** Hey, don’t talk to her like that! She’s a lady. **Barry:** [_scoffs_] Weww, that “wady” took high-wes pictuwes of my junk wast night for Cwaigswist. Water! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/334 "2017-03-20T15:29:44Z")
Amy: Maybe you should spank me harder. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/335 "2017-03-20T16:08:03Z")
Your preaching to the choir, my friend ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/336 "2017-03-20T16:13:38Z")
eschereal~~~ My mom was on a league, not to say she was any good! I’ve never had a bad time bowling~ I suck at it ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/337 "2017-03-20T16:47:28Z")
Hell, bowling is just an excuse for beer, chili cheese fries and _shut the fuck up, Donny_. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/338 "2017-03-20T16:55:05Z")
True this~ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/339 "2017-03-21T01:39:26Z")
Here you go! This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/340 "2017-03-21T04:38:52Z")
I was gonna say “Awww,” but I have to go with “Ew.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=18)