# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/341 "2017-03-21T05:09:04Z")
_Well, that’s it. That’s the end of Roger Abbot._ And we still don’t know who framed him. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/342 "2017-03-21T06:58:09Z")
Before I met you, I was a mousy wallflower. But look at me now. I’m like some kind of downtown hipster party girl! With a posse, a boyfriend, and a new lace bra that hooks in the front of all things! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/343 "2017-03-21T15:41:10Z")
Sheldon: What if she ends up with a toddler who doesn’t know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve? Leonard: I’m sure she’ll still love him. Sheldon: I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/344 "2017-03-21T21:10:55Z")
You don’t have access to my haircut records. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/345 "2017-03-22T03:57:50Z")
O gravity, thou art a heartless bitch. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/346 "2017-03-22T05:15:13Z")
**Amy:** There’s not a hair on my body I wouldn’t let this woman trim. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/347 "2017-03-22T05:23:28Z")
**Raj** : So, uh, what are you guys talking about? **Claire** : Well, your friends were just telling me about all the other girls you’re dating. **Raj** : Why would you do that? I specifically asked you not to do that! **Penny** : We didn’t. **Amy** : _You_ just did. **Zack** : Wow, maybe none of you guys are smart. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/348 "2017-03-22T08:53:45Z")
\*\* Leonard:\*\* Once you open the box it loses its value. **Penny:** Yeah, yeah, my mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/349 "2017-03-22T23:58:48Z")
Amy: Say, Betsy Ross, whatcha working on? Sheldon (in falsetto): I have no idea, because the story of me sewing the first American flag is unsupported poppycock. Amy: Then who did sew it? Sheldon (falsetto): Don’t ask me. I’m just a simple seamstress whose descendants (drops falsetto) are out to make a quick buck. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/350 "2017-03-23T01:36:26Z")
**Sheldon:** I have my transporter swapped in Leonard’s box, and now he won’t know that his is broken. Everyone’s happy. **Tiny Spock:** I’m not happy. **Sheldon:** But I thought where you come from, they don’t have emotions. **Tiny Spock:** I come from a factory in Taiwan. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/351 "2017-03-23T11:06:55Z")
This is the best Top Ramen you have ever made I discovered a secret, the flavor packet ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/352 "2017-03-23T11:15:05Z")
**Sheldon:** Professor Hawking, it’s an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir. **Stephen Hawking:** I know. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/353 "2017-03-23T11:17:28Z")
Where does your mom keep the Crisco? Oh I don’t know, maybe in a wad in her cheek ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/354 "2017-03-23T12:18:06Z")
Oh, gosh, golly. I made a boo-boo, and I gave it to Stephen Hawking. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/355 "2017-03-23T13:31:51Z")
Penny: Yes, I know men can’t fly. Sheldon: No, no, let’s assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/356 "2017-03-23T13:55:16Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Penny: Yes, I know men can’t fly. > Sheldon: No, no, let’s assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces. If he really loved her, he’d let her hit the pavement; it’d be a more merciful death. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/357 "2017-03-23T16:30:45Z")
Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served. Leonard: That’s fine, you win. Howard: What’s his problem? Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him. Howard: Been there! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/358 "2017-03-23T17:41:38Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Oh, gosh, golly. I made a boo-boo, and I gave it to Stephen Hawking. **Great. Another fainter.** ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/359 "2017-03-23T23:32:55Z")
\*\* Sheldon:\*\* [_about Stephen Hawking_] He’s a famous physicist. **Penny:** Hang on, I know. He’s the wheelchair-dude who invented time. **Sheldon:** Close enough. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/360 "2017-03-24T00:59:35Z")
Penny: Sheldon, we [women] are just people. We talk about the same things you talk about. Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=19)