# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/361 "2017-03-24T01:07:13Z")
**Leonard:** It’s a bachelor party. There could be strippers. Won’t that make you a little jealous? **Penny:** Come on Leonard. It’s you. What’s gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you’d do is avoid eye contact and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/362 "2017-03-24T03:13:07Z")
I may be a bad waitress but you, your a bad person ~~~ Now…wanna hear the specials ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/363 "2017-03-24T04:59:09Z")
**Howard:** She was my _second_ cousin. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/364 "2017-03-25T00:06:35Z")
(_squirt_) Bad Leonard. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/365 "2017-03-25T00:10:30Z")
> [@Brooky](#): > > This is the best Top Ramen you have ever made > > I discovered a secret, the flavor packet That sucker is well-named. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/366 "2017-03-25T01:07:14Z")
When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, “Ooh, check out this Blu-Ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia”? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/367 "2017-03-25T01:23:44Z")
You still go left! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/368 "2017-03-25T05:09:36Z")
Two years ago we didn’t even know each other. And now, I’m in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2017, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/369 "2017-03-25T17:19:39Z")
Don’t worry, luckily I had the good sense to drown that kitten in the river ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/370 "2017-03-26T01:09:57Z")
I love strawberry Quik. It’s my favorite pink fluid. Narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/371 "2017-03-27T19:17:39Z")
For future reference, if I want to watch _Mean Girls_, I’ll just stream it on Netflix. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/372 "2017-03-27T20:11:29Z")
Nothing takes the sting out of a shattered life like a properly seasoned bowl of onion soup. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/373 "2017-03-27T20:49:27Z")
**Dimitri:** [_To Howard_] He calls you Fruit Loops, because of your very gay hair cut? **Howard:** No. It’s because I live with my mother and she makes me Fruit Loops. **Dimitri:** Go with the gay story. People are more accepting of it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/374 "2017-03-28T15:46:38Z")
Leonard: Sheldon, this is not your home! Sheldon: This isn’t anyone’s ‘home’. This is a swirling vortex of entropy. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/375 "2017-03-28T16:07:21Z")
\*\* Raj:\*\* Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers. **Mrs. Wolowitz:** LOUDER! **Bernadette:** They all got ordained! They’re all marrying us! It’s adorable! You want to hear it, come closer! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/376 "2017-03-28T22:05:22Z")
You walked in on your father and me, naked. I was swatting his bottom with your new ping-pong paddle. How did that make you feel? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/377 "2017-03-28T22:09:20Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > You walked in on your father and me, naked. I was swatting his bottom with your new ping-pong paddle. How did that make you feel? I didn’t dream that?!? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/378 "2017-03-28T22:57:06Z")
_Sheldon & Leonard have just lost Pictionary (in a big way) to Amy and Penny. It’s pretty much all Sheldon’s fault_. **Penny** : Hey, Sheldon, you’re always full of fun little facts. Where did the expression “Got your ass handed to you” come from? **Sheldon** : Don’t know. **Penny** : I wonder if it’s from, like, ancient Rome, where they’d actually chop somebody’s ass off and then go “Here.” You know, to appease Loseronius, the god of losers. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/379 "2017-03-29T01:16:37Z")
**Amy:** Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also wanted you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/380 "2017-03-30T14:25:42Z")
Where are you going Lovey Dovey? Come back ~~~~ I already ordered 20lbs of bird seed on Amazon! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=20)